


Holding on for Life

by planetesimalwords



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Ash Lynx and Okumura Eiji in Love, Best Friends, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I dont mean that tag in a weird way like they just interact, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Inspired by..., M/M, Okumura Eiji Loves Ash Lynx, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Parental Max Lobo, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Shorter Wong, Quarantine, Self-Harm, Shorter Wong Is a Good Friend, Soft Ash Lynx, Suicidal Thoughts, Teacher-Student Relationship, and max tries to help ash, dino is a piece of shit, he isn't ash's parent yet but like, honeyvalentine, honeyvalentine if you're out there I love you, like the dad he is, teacher max lobo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:41:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 45,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29158332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetesimalwords/pseuds/planetesimalwords
Summary: During his junior year in an American school, a quarantine forces Eiji to stay in the states. With school online and a mandate to never leave the house put up, Ash is trapped at home in the presence of less-than-kind company. Basically, a High School AU set at the beginning of quarantine because I want to make Ash suffer, as if he hasn't suffered enough.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx & Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Max Lobo & Ash Lynx, Okumura Eiji & Shorter Wong
Comments: 180
Kudos: 211





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is my first fic ever so !! yay for that!! I tried my best with tagging, these will definitely update as the fic goes along, many of those tags are just precautionary for now!! let me know if I ever need to add ones !! ok thank you sexy people !! also as said in the tags blatantly inspired by honeyvalentine everything they do (specifically their ash eiji and shorter characterization *chef's kiss*) fills me with joy and love so here's my own attempt !! :)

_“You cannot come home?!” _Eiji’s mother’s voice rang shrill through the phone receiver, causing Eiji to wince and pull away from the device.__

____

____

_“There is a travel ban. I will be stuck in the US until this clears up. Do not worry though, Ibe-san said he is more than happy to accommodate me here. There is no issue Okaa-san.”_ Even without the phone call connecting them, Eiji could have sworn he would have heard his mother’s sigh all the way from Japan. 

_“As soon as we can get you home you are hopping on a plane.”_

_“Yes Okaa-san. I will be fine though.”_

_“I just worry! Filthy Americans! I have heard they do not have the same hygiene practices when it comes to sickness.”_

Eiji could not help but laugh at the stereotypes that still swam around his mother’s head, even after he told her all about the eye-opening experiences he has had since coming to America. 

_“I will be safe. I cannot even leave the apartment for school,”_ Eiji reassured his mother. 

_“Okay. Please stay safe Ei-chan.”_

_“Of course Okaa-san.”_ Eiji heard the line run dead and he sighed, locking his phone and flopping back onto his bed. 

The news of the life-threatening virus had been circulating through the states for weeks, but no one thought that anything such as a global lockdown would occur. Eiji was over in New York on a student visa, spending his junior year in an American high school. While he had not planned on coming home for another several months, when the school year actually ended, his mother panicked at the news of the virus and attempted to bring him home. Her efforts were futile. 

Eiji was to remain in New York with Ibe until the school year ended or the pandemic settled down, whichever came first. 

Eiji was adjusting well to the American lifestyle. His English had improved greatly over the past months, and he had successfully made friends with several people at school. He was not thrilled at the idea of not getting to see the people who had become his close companions in person anymore. At least getting to quarantine in America meant he got to stay in the same time zone as them, making texting and calling easier, but he would much rather be seeing them in person at school. 

Especially Ash.

Eiji’s heart fluttered at the mere thought of the boy. The 17-year-old with the deep green eyes and platinum blond hair took up the majority of Eiji’s thoughts these days. 

Now, however, Eiji would not get to stare into his eyes, which were a deep pool of mixed emotions. At any given moment, Eiji could see a pain underlying even the happiest of moments. Ash’s eyes were haunted, and Eiji had no idea why. 

More than just his soulful eyes captured Eiji’s heart. When the Japanese boy had first made the American’s acquaintance, he was greeted by his stand-off-ish manner, the way he bit out his sentences and snarled at certain students. While this jolted Eiji, he found himself never once fearing the boy. If anything, his behavior made Eiji want to get to know him more. What could make a person so inclined to snap at others’ almost like a frightened animal? Why was he so insistent upon pushing others away before ever getting the chance to know them?

Little by little, Eiji whittled his way into Ash’s heart, getting him to reveal more than the persona he put up for the people at school. It was hard work. From his first greeting with the boy, when he deposited himself into the empty seat beside Ash Lynx, Eiji noticed an immediate attempt on the other boy’s part to put up a barrier. He gave Eiji a terse “hello” and answered his never ending list of questions with one word answers ( _Do you like going to school here?_ No. _What is your favorite subject?_ English. _Is this class hard?_ No.). 

The Japanese boy did not let this stop him. He continued to badger Ash with questions each and every time he came and sat by the boy’s side. Eventually, he thinks pure exhaustion is what made Ash give in rather than a desire to be Eiji’s friend (Shorter tried to convince him that was not true, that Ash actually wanted to be Eiji’s friend, but the dark-eyed boy forbade himself about letting himself be optimistic in that regard). But once that initial mask was cracked, Eiji realized Ash was extremely different from the boy he presented himself as that first meeting.

Eiji came to learn that Ash was a real bookworm, spending any free time he had at the school’s library. He also discovered that Ash was fiercely loyal, having witnessed a fight between the green-eyed boy and a nasty looking blond kid after the latter shoved who Eiji thought was a middle schooler (what was he doing in a high school?!) into a locker. (Eiji later learned that Sing is just tiny.) 

Soon, Eiji found himself sitting with Ash at lunch, and he was slowly integrated into Ash’s little gang, which consisted of the aforementioned Sing, a sophomore Chinese boy whose height suggested he was a lot younger than he was; Shorter, the eccentric fellow junior with a purple mohawk (Eiji asked to touch it the first time they met, Shorter laughed and said yes) whose free time when he was not with friends was spent helping his sister run their restaurant Chang Dai; Alex, another junior who spent most of his time with the last two of the group, Bones and Kong; and the elusive and occasional Yut Lung, the long-haired rich snob who really only showed interest in talking to Sing. They were an odd group, but Eiji was happy to call them his friends. 

So despite the atrocities of the newly announced quarantine, Eiji found himself lucky to have these friends whom he could call and text whenever he wanted. 

After laying on his bed thinking through the conversation he just had with his mother, Eiji reached for his phone and pulled up his group chat with Ash and Shorter (the two of the group he was closest with). There was a certain comfortability that Ash had with the two of them that did not exist with the rest of the group (especially Lut Yung). Shorter was his closest and oldest friend, and the two showed their affection through stinging words and light punches to the stomach and shoulders. Eiji was quick to flock to Shorter because of his bombastic personality and the Chinese boy’s easy ability to make friends. Next to Ash, Shorter was who Eiji admired the most.

**Eiji  
i am going to miss not getting to see your beautiful faces in class anymore :(**

**Shorter💜  
eiji i love you  
GOD i can’t believe it’s gonna be weeks before i can pinch your adorable cheeks**

**Eiji  
they are not adorable !! i look like a baby !! ******

********

********

**Shorter💜  
yes eiji we’ve been over this you are baby and we love you for this ******

********

********

Eiji laughed to himself at the conversation, but couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness when Ash did not respond. What could the boy possibly be doing? Leaving the house was no longer an option, and Eiji knew that Ash only lived with his foster father, who Eiji had come to deduce Ash did not like one bit. 

**Eiji  
ashuuuuuu where are youuuuu i miss you**

**Shorter💜  
aw ash your boyfriend’s calling,,,**

**Eiji  
shorter we are not boyfriends !!**

Even though he refuted it, Eiji could not stop his heart from skipping a beat every time Shorter made a joke like that. 

Eiji knew he was not hiding his feelings when it came to Ash. He had always been a heart-on-the-sleeve person, and when it came to crushes, that rang true. Shorter often caught Eiji staring longingly at Ash as the blond boy read a classical novel in the library. He noticed the way Eiji always made sure Ash had plenty to eat at lunch. He caught on when Eiji initiated as much physical touch as possible, always asking if Ash needed help standing up after he and Shorter wrestled each other to the ground or grabbing Ash’s hand in excitement after he got a particularly hard math problem correct. 

Shorter knew all. 

And Eiji knew that Shorter knew what Ash’s own feelings toward Eiji were, but the purple-haired boy would never spill his friend’s secrets. So Eiji had to decipher Ash’s actions for himself. 

Ash was a lot calmer around Eiji; his posture was always more relaxed, and the haunted look in his eyes seemed farthest away when he spent time goofing around with the Japanese boy. Eiji noticed Ash laughed a lot easier when they were together. Even though Shorter was the funniest out of their group, his jokes were always met with an eye roll or friendly punch to the shoulder. With Eiji, however, Ash would tilt his head back and actually laugh. 

This first occurred at lunch when the gang had learned that Eiji was a whole year older than Ash and Shorter despite being in the same grade. Shorter had laughed and pinched Eiji’s cheeks, saying he looked even younger than Sing, which made the sophomore flush with rage. When Eiji told them they had held him back in kindergarten after he had cried over breaking a red crayon, Ash had let loose the most genuine and beautiful laugh Eiji had ever heard. He did not mind that it was aimed at him and his crayon-related trauma, because from that point forward, Eiji realized the only sound he ever wanted to hear again was Ash’s laughter.

Despite being a year older than Ash, Eiji found the other boy caring and looking out for him. He appreciated this, as he struggled with attempting to navigate the already toxic and scary thing that is high school, let alone in a foreign country where everyone spoke a language he only had a mediocre grasp on. Eiji did not mind that he relied on someone younger than him to keep him safe from bullies and impatient teachers. Eiji would be content to let Ash care for him in whatever way fit.

Eiji was startled out of his love-sicken haze when he felt his phone buzz. He snatched it up and read the text. 

**Ash💛  
sorry can’t talk much right now**

**Shorter💜  
dude what could you possibly be doing  
we are all quite literally locked in our houses  
unless you are *gasp* breaking quarantine  
ash im calling the police on you**

**Eiji  
shorter !! calling the police on a friend does not seem very nice**

**Shorter💜  
** eh ash deserves it  
lov u lynx💕 

Eiji giggled and waited to see if Ash would have a witty response, as he so often did, but the group chat remained silent. What could possibly be occupying the boy’s time when there was nothing to do but look at one’s phone?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash does not like quarantine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone umm here is chapter 2!! I updated the rating to Mature because yeah!! I think my tags should cover everything, if not let me know :) this chapter contains a lot of heavily implied abuse and shit so fair warning!! if that's not for you stay safe!! ummm yeah that's all for now :)

The news of quarantine had come during school. It was a normal Thursday afternoon. Ash was sitting in English class, his feet propped up on the back of the chair in front of him. The perks of having no one wanting to sit near you was the free real estate of the empty desks. 

As Blanca droned on about the symbolism in _The Catcher in the Rye_ , which Ash had read approximately ten times before this class, the crackle of the school announcement system came through. 

“Good afternoon faculty and students. The New York Department of Public Education has just made the executive decision to continue classes virtually for the rest of the month in light of the recent problems concerning the virus.”

Chaos ensued in the class. Blanca tried to calm everyone down, and Ash sat back smirking watching his fellow classmates bitch and moan about not coming into school. 

Secretly, as soon as the announcement had been made, Ash’s stomach had dropped. No school meant no seeing Shorter and Eiji, and, worse, it meant not having a reason to leave the house. 

_There will be nothing stopping Dino from having his way with me whenever he wants._

Ash had to stop himself from letting those thoughts occupy his mind, as he could not allow himself a breakdown in the middle of English. He felt his phone buzz and pulled it out to see a text from a certain juvenile delinquent. 

**Shorter  
DUDES this fuckin SUCKS  
i will quite literally pass away if i cannot see you guys each day  
god and nadia is gonna get annoyed with me so quickly  
i’ll be lucky if i survive the week  
pray for me  
fuck man**

**Eiji  
shorter it will be ok !! we can text each other all the time and we can do the facetime calls like i do with my family !! no worries at all dear friends !!**

Ash chuckled at Shorter’s despair and Eiji’s unrelenting optimism. He had a feeling that no matter what hopeful words Eiji threw their way, this quarantine was going to leave Ash with nothing but more bruises. 

——

When Ash got home that day, he was greeted by a horrific smile from Dino, and he spent the rest of the evening in the older man’s bedroom. 

——

Ash did everything in his power to get just a few moments of alone time. Even if it was simply a trip to the bathroom, he would take what he could get. In those sparse moments, he would look at his phone for the first time in hours. Hundreds of messages littered his lock screen, most of them from Eiji. 

**Eiji  
hi ashu !! hope you are doing well today !! i have not heard from you since Saturday in the group text with shorter **

****

****

**ash did you know that ibe-san can touch his nose with his tongue !! what a unique talent !! i miss you !!**

**ashu why did you look so upset in physics today ?? is being in school through a computer that upsetting to you ?? you are very smart so i know you must be missing school extra !!**

More messages like these clogged his phone up. He didn’t have the strength to answer any of them. He would mentally construct his responses though. 

_Hi Eiji. I miss you too. I am not doing well at all. My whole body hurts and Dino won’t leave me alone. You would think one fuck a day would keep the man satisfied._

__

__

_I did not know that about Ibe-san. Did you know I can tie a cherry stem into a knot in my mouth? They say only great kissers can do that. Guess it just proves what Dino says, that I’m only good for one thing: sex._

_I looked so upset today because Dino sat there watching me, and when he learned that I was muted he started saying things to me. Such awful things I could never tell you. He called me his whore, his slut, his pet—_

Ash’s melancholic thoughts were interrupted by a harsh banging on the door. 

“Ash! What is taking you so long! I told you you could have a moment to freshen up. Good kittens don’t keep their masters waiting,” came the disgusting voice of Dino through the closed door. 

Ash sighed and pitched his voice up, making it breathy and whiny. “I’ll just be a moment longer Papa. Don’t you want your kitten looking extra nice?”

He heard the laugh on the other side, followed by the retreating of the man’s heavy footsteps. Ash allowed himself a moment longer before he exited the bathroom. Dino was already sitting on the bed, his robe barely hiding his bare chest. 

“Oh kitten. No need to look so sad. Papa wants to have a little fun is all.”

Ash swallowed the bile that dared to rise in his throat. “Papa, we’ve already. . .had fun. . .today. I need to do my homework. Can we do this tomorrow?”

Dino’s gaze hardened and suddenly a hand shot out and grabbed Ash by the waist, pulling him almost into the man’s lap. 

“Now, now, Lynx, you’ll have plenty of time for your studies later. It is such a rarity that you spend so much time at home. This quarantine situation is surely playing out in my favor. I get my Lynx all to myself. I don’t have to worry about sharing him with anyone.” 

Ash squirmed as the man trailed his hand down Ash’s clothed chest.

_I won’t have this shirt on that much longer_ , Ash thought to himself as Dino felt him through the fabric. 

“You are home now, with nowhere to go. There’s no reason you can’t spend time with your papa, kitten.”

——

By the end of that first week of quarantine, Ash was exhausted. Classes ran online from 8 am to 3 pm, and while Ash hoped they would be able to provide him with the reprieve from Dino he so longed for, this was not the case. 

The man sat in for every class, and the few classes that Ash was permitted to have his camera off, Dino took full advantage, making Ash service and pleasure him right there in front of the unseeing computer. 

Ash had never felt more disgusted with himself in his life. Not even when he was sold off to strange men for the night. Not even when he made his baseball coach pay him at the ripe age of 8. No, nothing felt quite as bad as having Dino use him when he could turn his head and see Eiji’s face on the screen, nodding along intently to whatever the teacher was saying. 

_Eiji._

If the Japanese boy knew what Ash was doing during class, he would be beyond disgusted. Eiji did not know about Ash’s past and the things Dino made him do, but he heard the rumors about Ash’s whoring around all throughout the school. And still, the boy had wanted to be his friend. Ash couldn’t wrap his brain around it. 

Here he was, a rumored slut and murderer, and this bright-eyed, fresh-faced new student came sauntering up to him, practically begging him to be his friend. 

So Ash felt particularly guilty when he could see Eiji’s soulful brown eyes open wide in curiosity as the teacher explained a particularly tough math problem, and Ash laid on his bed as Dino made him dirty. 

After classes ended, Ash would plead with Dino that he had to get his homework done, lest he fall victim to poor grades. With the new development of online school, Dino did not seem to care whether or not Ash did well in school because every time Ash informed the man that he needed time to work on an essay that was due in a few weeks, Dino would scoff and insist Ash could spend more time with him. 

Then dinner would come, where Ash would sit in uncomfortable silence as Dino portioned out his food ( _Don’t want my little lynx gaining any weight now that he’s locked in a cage_ ) as he watched the old man eat to his heart’s content. Following dinner remained the nightly session with Dino, which always took place in the old man’s room. Ash was not permitted to leave after they finished, often being followed into the bathroom when he took a shower, and then having to sleep in the same bed by Dino’s side the whole night through. Needless to say, he wasn’t getting much sleep. 

And if this wasn’t all bad enough, Ash had no time for his friends. He rarely got a minute to spare to send a quick text to Shorter or Eiji to tell them how funny it was when their physics teacher spent a good ten minutes lecturing while on mute. Ash couldn’t do things like be a silly, careless teen anymore. He never really could, but at least at school he could pretend like he was normal. Now, any sense of normalcy was gone. 

Ash felt so helpless and childish that what hurt him most was the lack of communication with the two people who meant the world to him. Truly, quarantine was proving to be no different from how Dino normally treated him, albeit now he did not get the break that school had previously provided. He could handle what Dino threw at him. He had been doing this for almost a decade now.

What made Ash most upset was knowing he was missing memes that Shorter would text them. He was seeming to be rude by ignoring Eiji’s never-ending flow of texts that radiated nothing but love and concern. 

As he lay in bed by Dino’s side each night, eyes wide open, he stared at the ceiling and hoped that he could soon awaken from this nightmare.

_It’s just for the month_ , Ash reminded himself as the old man snored beside him. _It’s just until the end of the month._

\----

The news of the extension of quarantine came during dinner. Ash sat opposite Dino, gingerly picking at the portioned food in front of him and thinking about how much he missed Shorter’s (horrible) cooking. It had been a hard few weeks for Ash. He was exhausted, hungry, sore. The only solace he had in these dark and hurtful times was the fact that school was supposed to start back up in person on Monday. They had only said they were online until the end of the month.

_It’s just until the end of the month._

Ash was pulled out of his haze by the entrance of one of the many staff members Dino kept around the house. Men who cooked the dinner and set the table. Men who drove Dino to and fro. Men who snuck into Ash’s room at night when they thought he was fast asleep--

“Papa Dino, there is a phone call for you. It is the Lynx’s school.” 

Ash stiffened in his seat.

_They’re calling because you never pay attention in class because Dino takes your attention away they’re calling because you haven’t turned in a single assignment since online class began they’re calling because you’re failing and when you fail Dino gets harsher and--_

“For the rest of the school year? . . . I see. . . No that will be quite alright. We have Internet access and he has his own computer. . . Yes thank you.” Ash’s heart was in his throat as he watched the man walk away with the phone Dino had placed in his hands.

“Wh-what was that Papa?” Ash tried to keep his voice from shaking, and he knew it was a futile effort, but Dino did not acknowledge the fear that so clearly laced Ash’s words. 

“That was the school. They called to inform that you’ll be online for the rest of the year in accordance with the new quarantine updates. So it looks like we are stuck here together for at least three more months.”

Ash’s stomach _dropped_. His fork fell out of his hand, and his vision began to swim.

_Three more months? Three more months of this absolute torture. And no doubt it was about to get worse. Three months of not being able to get away from Dino. Three months without seeing or really talking to Eiji and Shorter. Three months of being used every day--_

“Ash? What is wrong, kitten?” Ash blinked and looked up at Dino, a cruel smile on the man’s face. “Are you just overjoyed at the idea of getting to spend more time with me? Are you excited to make your papa happy?” 

Not thinking clearly, Ash weakly shook his head, and before he knew it there was a stinging pain on his cheek and his head slammed into the back of the chair. 

“Ash, you are not excited to assist me? Oh dear, oh Ash, you know resisting will only make things worse.”

Ash swallowed thickly and looked up, meeting Dino’s cold eyes. 

“Sorry Papa. That’s not what I meant. I--I’m very excited.”

\----

**Eiji  
oh no ashu have you heard the news ?! school is online forever :( i miss you**

****

****

**ash did you see i waved to you in class today ??**

**ash i am getting more worried about you you look so tired on screen**

**shorter and i are going to do a facetime tonight if you want to join ash :)**

**are you mad at me ?? did i do something wrong ??**

**ash were those bruises on your neck i saw in class ?!**

**can i ask for help on math homework ?? the teacher is even worse teaching online !!**

**ashu i miss you**

**ashu please answer a text i am very very worried**

**ibe-san says hi**

**ashu please**

\----

Ash had not realized his life could get worse. He did not think that the hell he already lived in could descend several more levels.

He was wrong.

Dino remained unavoidable. He never let Ash leave his sight, not even to shower after a long day functioning as Dino’s personal toy (Dino wanted to make sure he was clean enough for him). 

As if Ash’s quarantine hadn’t started rough enough, Dino found ways to make it worse. In lieu of not being able to take in-person clients during the global pandemic, Dino forced Ash to make videos and sign up with virtual clients. He was not able to charge quite as much as he used to for a little alone time with his lynx, but with keeping Ash at home and there being no way for him to leave, Dino made the most of his time. 

A lot of people wanted videos of him. 

_A lot._

So when class ended, Ash’s new homework began. Instead of cracking open his history textbook and outlining the chapter, he put on skimpy, grotesque costumes and set up Dino’s camera. 

Ash disgusted himself. 

Whether it was a video that was to be uploaded or one with a client through a video call, Ash spent the majority of his late afternoons sitting on his bed forcing himself to seem like he was enjoying his time. 

He wasn’t.

All Ash wanted was a moment of peace, a small half hour to slip away and focus on nothing but himself. He wanted a good night’s rest in his own bed, although there would exist the fear of Dino waking him up at ungodly hours to perform. Which he already did when Ash slept in bed with him.

Ash felt sick. Not only was his body beginning to shut down from the physical toll it was taking, both from being used and from not being able to eat or sleep properly, but so was his mind.

The pure amount of torture he was being forced to experience every second of every day was killing him. He wasn’t sure how he was avoiding a full-on breakdown in front of Dino, but he assumed that because he was able to keep it together that meant he must want this.

This must be something he’s enjoying. After all, like the police said to him when he was seven, he must be seducing the man. It’s his fault for being born this beautiful. It’s his fault that gross, greedy, evil men would do anything just to get their hands on him.

It’s his fault. It’s his fault. It’s his fault. 

_It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max knows his students well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how I feel about this one :/ I didnt really end it like I wanted to, so it feels rather lackluster to me. oh well hope y'all still enjoy!! :)

Max prided himself in being able to read his students. Getting to know the kids he taught and coming to learn their individual quirks and personalities was something he liked doing, as it showed the kids that he actually cared, unlike some teachers. 

Some kids were easier to read than others. Take, for example, Shorter Wong who, though Max had never had him in anything besides homeroom, the ex-journalist could tell whether the boy got into a scuffle in the hallway before class simply from the “hello” he provided as he sauntered through the door each morning. (High-pitched _“Hello Mr. Lobo!”_ ’s, full of energy and excitement, told Max that the boy had gotten his kick of adrenaline from most likely punching someone on his walk to class. A monotone _“Morning Lobo”_ indicated he was still looking for something to wake him up.)

Then there were the tough ones, students who hid behind walls they put up because sometime, long ago, they had been hurt in some way. Yut Lung was this way, a true mystery that took Max half of the year to crack before he figured out the long-haired boy was jealous of the students with friends in the class. He wondered what had happened to him. 

Finally, there were the kids who, like Yut Lung, put up walls and tried to hide from the world, but just one push, just one small effort to get to know them showed that there was so much vulnerability and openness underneath. This was Ash Lynx. 

When the green-eyed, sharp-tongued junior walked into Max’s journalism class that first day, he thought he was going to have a tougher time cracking the code. He figured it would take at least until March before he could figure out which sitting position in his desk was one of interest versus one of boredom. 

But when Max approached Ash the second week of class after having watched the boy fail to hide a limp as he hobbled through the door, the walls came crumbling down easily. 

“Hey Ash,” Max had said right after the bell rang, “can you stay behind for a minute? I want to ask you something.”

Max noticed _immediately_ how the boy’s entire demeanor changed. He could have sworn he saw something snap behind those green eyes the second the question registered, and they went from their bored, glazed over look to being _scared_ , even for just a moment, to being completely dead. There was nothing behind them anymore. 

But his body didn’t portray this. No, the limp he had entered with was entirely gone as he took long, sultry steps up to Max’s desk. 

Max felt his blood run cold. 

_This already doesn’t feel right._

Ash dropped his backpack to the floor and placed both his hands on Max’s desk, his posture suggesting an invitation to—Max didn’t want to think about what his student could possibly be seeking from him. 

“Yes, Mr. Lobo? You want to ask me something?” Max’s eyes widen at the high-pitched breathiness of Ash’s voice. He was clearly trying to sound younger and more—alluring. Max didn’t like it. 

He cleared his throat. “Uh, yes Ash. I just wanted to ask if you were feeling alright. You came in with a limp, and I—well it had me worried, as I didn’t remember you mentioning being on any sports teams or anything.”

There it was again, the flash behind Ash’s eyes. The lack of emotion disappeared and that look of _fear_ ran in the deep greens of his eyes. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just . . . had a bit too much fun, I suppose.” Max didn’t like what he thought that meant. “I’m not too sore, if you want your go with me.” Ash licked his lips and leaned in further. Max backed up in his chair. 

“Ash. Ash what are you doing?” His voice wobbled slightly, as he was whole-heartedly taken back by his student’s demeanor. 

Ash cocked his head and furrowed his brow ever so slightly. “Do you mean—you don’t want me . . .”

Max swallowed thickly. He didn’t need the boy to finish his train of thought for him to deduce what he meant. “No Ash. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

The fear and deadness in Ash’s eyes disappeared in an instant, replaced with the anger he so often saw on the boy’s face as he walked into class. 

“I’m fine. Maybe if you didn’t assign so much reading for homework I would be even better.”

The potential joke fell flat, considering what the atmosphere of the room had been like not five seconds ago. 

“Ash,” Max slowly began, “Do—do other teachers ask for things like that from you?”

Ash glared at him, the proximity making the boy’s scowl have an even harsher effect than it did from his seat back in the third row. 

And then, all the anger drained away, and Max was left staring at an insanely sad, depressed, _hurt_ teenager. 

“See you in class tomorrow, Lobo.” 

Ash was a lot easier to read after that talk. 

——

When quarantine hit, Max almost regretted that he had switched from being a journalist to teaching. There was nothing fun about speaking into a computer for eight hours while the students sat with their cameras off, most likely not paying attention. 

He almost regretted it. 

Almost. 

Those first few weeks taught Max what he needed to change, that if he actually wanted his students to get something out of learning online that he would have to adjust his style of teaching. He worked through it, figuring out what helped and what harmed. He eventually got it down. 

He wasn’t expecting perfection from his students. This was an extremely challenging and difficult time in all their lives, and the last thing he needed them to worry about was whether or not a spelling mistake in an assignment would cost them their grades. In fact, he made it so that essentially no homeworks or essays had to be completed. He was sticking to in-class participation and one end of the year final assignment, something that would be easy to finish. 

As the days dragged on, Max noticed who answered questions and who didn’t. He began encouraging the students to have their cameras on, if possible, though it wasn’t required. Most students did because they liked him, especially after he announced the abolishment of their upcoming essays. One student never did. 

Ash. 

Ash’s camera was never on if he could help it. Max couldn’t remember the last time he actually saw the boy. He guessed it was at the beginning of this whole debacle, when everyone was unsure about how to handle things. Once it was clear Max wouldn’t care if his camera was on or not, Ash’s stayed off. 

It was one day, a little under two months into this entire thing, when Max realized the only student who had yet to complete any participation points was Ash. So he thought he would help him out. 

“Hey Ash, you there?” He waited for the mute symbol to change on Ash’s icon. It took several seconds, if not a whole minute, to do so. 

“Yeah,” croaked out a voice that Max would not have been able to recognize as Ash’s if he hadn’t specifically called on the boy. 

“Ash, can you answer the question we’re discussing, about the different types of journalism?”

Ash’s mic picked up was a small whimper, almost ignorable if one wasn’t paying attention. But Max was paying close attention. _Very_ close attention.

“Um, yeah. Uh, investigative is the most—the most adaptable type. Cause you can use it for anything.” As soon as he finished talking Ash muted himself again. 

“Yeah, yeah that’s right Ash. Good job.” Max didn’t feel right. That interaction felt _off_. And he was certain that if he had seen Ash’s face he would have been able to observe a roller coaster of emotions pooling in his eyes. 

“Okay so, Ash is right, investigative journalism is…” Max continued teaching the lesson, but his mind was somewhere else. He could only think about Ash. 

——

As the days went by, Max’s worry for Ash only increased. The only chances Max ever got to hear his voice were when he explicitly called on him, and those were always like that first time, with Ash sounding like a completely different person, fear and hurt evident in his voice. 

What really confirmed Max’s idea that _something was really wrong_ was the first time since the first week of class Max got to see the boy.

He almost wished he never had.

Almost.

Ash looked like a ghost. That could be the only way to describe him. His cheeks were hollowed out. There were deep, dark bags under his eyes. His already pale skin lost even more color, seeming to stretch taut over his sharp facial bones. But worst of all were his eyes.

Those jade green eyes that had always held so much emotion were now dead. There was nothing behind them, and it almost looked as if there could never be anything behind them ever again. Ash Lynx has lost his spark.

Ash was a living corpse, and Max’s heart panged for him when the boy briefly turned on his camera. It had to have been an accident, judging by the panic that flashed across his face when he realized. He had remained muted, his mouth furiously running, almost looking like he was apologizing to someone. His face showed for what could have only been ten seconds at most, but it was enough for Max to gather that something was wrong.

And he couldn’t sit there and accept that fact.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter just wants to help his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello !! this turned out longer than I excepted (it's still not even that long lol but I wasn't thinking I was gonna write this much!!) so yeah hope you all enjoy :)

The first time Shorter laid eyes on Ash, his immediate thought was, _Whoa, that guy’s cool as fuck._

This opinion quickly changed to _That guy’s mean as fuck_ when he was met with venom after asking the blond if he wanted to eat lunch with him. Still, that didn’t deter Shorter from wanting to be friends.

The next day, as Ash once again passed by his table, Shorter stood up and placed himself between Ash and his destination.

“What the fuck man?!” Ash had exclaimed when he barely stopped himself from colliding with the Chinese boy. 

“Sorry! My bad. I just, uh, wanted to extend my invitation again. To eat here for lunch? I saw you go sit by yourself yesterday. Thought you might wanna hang with me and my guys.” Shorter motioned to the table where three other guys sat. Shorter beamed at them, but they all gave him worried looks. _What’s everyone’s deal?_

“You don’t want me sitting with you. I might taint you guys. I’m fine sitting by myself.” Ash moved to push past Shorter, but he sidestepped, blocking the blond’s movement.

“Hey, whoa, wait. What do you mean by taint us? We--that’s stupid to say dude. Just sit with us.”

Ash huffed out a laugh. “Are you just stupid, or have you not heard everything everyone’s been saying about me?”

Shorter cocked his head, some of his purple hair falling into his eyes behind his sunglasses. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. People are saying shit about you?”

The smaller boy rolled his eyes. “Cut the crap. The only reason you’d want to sit with the town whore is if you were looking for something from me. Which I’m not interested in giving.”

Shorter was reeling. 

_Town whore? Looking for something from him? What the fuck?_

“Look dude,” Shorter began as Ash once again tried to walk away. “I haven’t heard any of that shit. And even if I did, I probably wouldn’t believe it. I know rumors get blown out of proportion, and people just love to start shit.”

Shorter was taken aback by the look in the blond’s eyes. The deep, gem-like green almost seemed to hold a sense of hope in them, but this hope was easily masked by the more prominent feelings of distrust and anger.

“Well, you’re wrong. Everything everyone says is true.” Shorter was stunned into silent disbelief. “So unless you want a slut sitting at lunch with you, I suggest you let me move along.” For the final time, Ash tried to walk away. 

Shorter stopped him again, this time reaching out and grabbing his arm. Ash’s eyes went wide, looking as if he couldn’t believe another student was willingly touching him. Shorter quickly let go.

“I actually do want that, yeah. Sit with us dude.” He didn’t think the blond would actually listen.

\----

Shorter and Ash grew closer ever since that first interaction their freshmen year. Ash had been right; Shorter did receive a lot of weird looks and hushed whispers for hanging around the wild blond. So what? Ash was great. 

Shorter quickly came to learn the green-eyed boy was a _genius_. He spent most of his free time reading books that were thicker than Shorter’s head, and despite his delinquent appearance, Ash was in all honors classes, passing them with flying colors. The boy was full of surprises.

One such surprise was his fierce loyalty. It took a while before he warmed up to Shorter and his gang, but once he was in, there was no kicking him out. Ash would do _anything_ for any one of them. He yelled at assholes who made snide comments. He fought off guys who would pin Bones to the lockers and so they could beat him up. He did everything he could to keep his little gang safe. Because it was his gang too now.

Shorter may have been the one to rally the troops together that first week of school, but Ash quickly took the role as the group’s unofficial leader. With his brains plus his brawns, there was nothing the blond couldn’t handle, whether it was fighting their way out of a scuffle with Arthur and his team of bullies, or even sweet-talking a teacher, trying to convince them that Kong did, in fact, do his homework, he saw him turn it in, the teacher must have lost it in their millions of other papers. 

The gang loved Ash. 

The rest of the school, not so much.

But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Shorter loved and valued Ash as his closest friend. He just hoped the blond saw him in the same way.

As the months went by, Shorter began to pick up on things about Ash, mainly things concerning the rumors that were always floating around school.

Despite what the green-eyed boy had said during their first successful conversation, Shorter had a hard time believing that he was the awful things he called himself. He figured that kids had spread over-exaggerated lies.

One day, however, Shorter learned the truth when he invited Ash to Chang Dai after school.

“I’m working today, but you can hang back in the kitchen with me and eat the scraps that I fuck up!”

Ash laughed, having never actually eaten any of Shorter’s food but hearing the worst about it from the others. “I would, but I have something after school.”

Shorter raised his eyebrows above his glasses. “What, like a club meeting or something? Mr. Lone Lynx, you didn’t tell me you joined a club!”

Ash shoved Shorter’s poking fingers off his arm. “It’s not a club. I have to meet someone.”

The purple-haired boy gasped, jaw dropping to the floor. “A date?! Ash, you asshole, tell me all about the lucky girl! Or guy. I don’t know which way you swing.”

Shorter caught how Ash swallowed thickly at the mention of a date, a sign of nerves despite the calmness with which he spoke his next words. “It’s something like that. Yeah, a date.”

“Hey. I don’t like your tone of voice. That’s the classic lying tone. The _I’m all cool and calm and collected so no one can catch me lying_ voice. Fess up. What’s going on?”

Ash rolled his eyes. “Nothing’s going on. I have a date. End of story.”

Shorter always hated playing this guessing game with him. “Mhm. So then can I ask about your date? Are they a guy or a girl?” When the blond kept his mouth pressed into a firm line, no sign of talking evident, Shorter threw his hands up in the air. “Come on man! You can’t tell me you’re not lying about a date and then refuse to give me any answers! That just makes you suspicious!”

“Well, you’re already suspicious about me lying, so why should I even try to prove I’m telling you the truth?”

“You’re insufferable, you know that? Absolutely awful.” 

_He’s lying. Something’s bothering him. Figure out what it is._

“Hey man, look.” Shorter took a deep breath, trying to make his voice as soft and soothing as possible. “If you don’t wanna talk about it, you don’t have to. But if it’s something that’s bothering you, you can tell me. There’s no judgment in this friendship. Only endless love and support.”

Ash glanced up, green eyes meeting brown through Shorter’s sunglasses. He ~~reluctantly~~ took them off so he could really look Ash in the eyes. For the first time since he had met him, Shorter saw _fear_ in the deep pools of jade green.

“I--I can’t tell you. It--you could be in danger, if I did. No one is supposed to know.” 

Shorter didn’t like that answer. “What do you mean dude? Are--are _you_ in danger? Do you need help?”

Ash shook his head. “No. I’m fine. I just . . . it’s kinda like a date. Only I don’t want to do it. And it’s less of a date and more like a . . . hookup.”

Shorter felt nausea roll around his stomach. “You don’t want to do it? Are you, like, being forced to?”

The blond rubbed the back of his neck, averting his eyes and breaking the connection that allowed him to be so vulnerable in the first place. “That’s all I’m gonna say.” 

“Okay, man. Thanks for telling me though. I--I hope it goes okay. I hope you stay safe.”

Shorter watched a flare of anger cross the smaller boy’s face. “Whatever.”

_Oh Ash. Is this what you meant when you told me everyone called you the town whore? That someone is forcing you to hook up with people?_

The bell rang, and Ash abruptly stood and booked it out of the lunch room. Shorter felt nothing but despair. 

——

After that first hint that his friend was not okay, Shorter paid more attention to Ash. He watched how he walked, taking note of a subtle limp most days of the week. He spotted dark bruises on his neck that the blond tried to hide with the collars of his shirts. He noticed how he flinched at unwanted contact. He got to know his friend. 

More information came his way when they went to a party one night. Shorter had offered to drive Ash home that night, so he kept off the drinks. But the smaller boy happily indulged in all the whims that came with alcohol. 

“D’ya know that you’re . . . my best friend?” Ash slurred as he leaned against Shorter for support while the sober teenager tried to lead him to his motorcycle. 

“No, I didn’t know that actually. Cause you’ve never told me before.” Shorter received a snicker in response. 

“Yeaaaaah. You—you probably don’t want your best friend being a slut! And a murderer!”

Shorter had heard his friend call himself a slut a million times before. He didn’t approve of or agree with it, but he had gotten used to hearing the hateful word leave Ash’s mouth. 

Murderer was a new one though. 

“Ash, you know how I feel about you talking about yourself like that.”

“I knooooooow,” the green-eyed boy dragged out. “But it’s true! I’m a slut! D-did you know—I started my whoring around when I was seven! S-seven! Ha! And then—then a year later that’s when I k-killed the guy!”

Shorter felt uneasy, and he didn’t have any alcohol to blame on the fact. 

“He was m’ little league coach. Everyone looooved him. And he—he took me back to his house after practice. An’ he raped me. An’ the police said that cause he’s so niiiiice and everyone loooves him that—that I must have seduced him! Me! A seven-year-old kid! Bah! Those fuckin’ motherfuckers. . .”

Ash trailed off as they approached Shorter’s bike. Shorter took it as his opportunity to console his friend. 

“Ash, I’m so sorry that happened to you. That never should have happened. That’s awful.”

Ash laughed as he bent forward to lean on the bike. 

“Ohhhh Shorter! That’s not even—the end! M-my dad told me that cause no one was stopping him—that I should make him pay when he raped me next. So I did! I made him pay! And he paid and paid and paid and paid and paid and PAID until I—until I shot him in the chest when I wassss eight. Eight-year-old murderer. Ha!”

A deep sadness settled inside Shorter. He had gathered enough to infer that his friend’s new, current guardian, the one who took him in after something happened with Ash’s dad, was less than kind to him, and he knew Ash was being made to sell his body, but he didn’t know about all of this.

“Oh Ash. Ash you’re not--you had to do those things. To protect yourself. I’m sorry no one was there to protect you. I’m sorry they didn’t help you. And killing him--you were just doing what you could to protect yourself. So that you didn’t get hurt or--or die.”

Brown eyes met foggy green ones, the blond’s pupils blown wide and his focus off centered.

“W-wish I was--dead.” Ash slumped forward onto Shorter, burying his face into the taller boy’s chest. “Mmmmm Shorter you’re warmmm.”

The only response Shorter could come up with was holding his friend closer, tighter, as if that hug could protect him from all the evil that continued to claw at him. 

_I’m going to help you_.

\----

Shorter’s first thought when quarantine was announced was _Fuck, Ash is gonna be stuck with Dino_. He second thought was _Fuck, Nadia is gonna be stuck with me_.

Shorter had gathered enough information over the years to piece together that Dino, Ash’s guardian, was one of the very men hurting his friend. And despite never having met the man, Shorter hated his guts.

Ash made comments every now and then about how his only real free time was school; it was a chance for him to be out of the clutches of evil, disgusting men. Without the physical separation that school brought, Shorter knew Ash was in danger.

 _Serious_ danger.

So Shorter tried to text him every day, even if he didn’t get responses. Just simple _“hello”_ s and _“how are you”_ s could hopefully go a long way for Ash to read. They didn’t have any classes together, Ash being in the honors track and Shorter, well, not being an honors student. He knew Ash had math with Eiji, so there was one way they could keep an eye on their friend.

Shorter had always been close with Eiji, but the quarantine situation brought them even closer. Their desire to protect Ash helped them bond in new ways. They texted constantly, both about Ash and other silly nonsense. Eiji gave Shorter an update on Ash from math every day, but usually there was not much to report, as the blond kept his camera and mic off the entire time.

They really had no way of telling how Ash was doing. He couldn’t even respond to their texts. Shorter wasn’t mad about this. He knew Ash was most likely being followed and watched (and touched) twenty-four-seven, and that texting his friends was the least of his worries now.

What hurt wasn’t the fact that Ash wasn’t responding, no. 

What hurt was that there was nothing Shorter could do.

In the past he had suggested to Ash that they call the police or child protective services, but Ash quickly shot him down, saying that Dino knew people on the inside. He had people on his side working in the stations, and even if someone who didn’t favor Dino took the case, the old man was rich enough to pay them off. Ash was stuck in a gridlock. 

There were days when Shorter found himself staring at the number for CPS, thinking about how he could at least try to help Ash. But if people showed up and Dino managed to turn them away, he knew Ash would suffer ungodly punishments, as if his friend probably wasn’t suffering enough already. 

None of it sat right with Shorter. The hardest days were the ones when Eiji actually had an update, saying that the teacher asked Ash a question and he responded in a hoarse voice that sounded raw from either crying or screaming. Or both.

Shorter just wanted some sort of confirmation from his friend, some sign that he was alive and breathing. 

He was half-tempted to sneak over to Ash’s and try and snatch him from his hellhole of a house. He knew it wasn’t a logical plan, that there was only a sliver of a chance he could make it onto the property without tripping some sort of alarm, let alone actually get into the house and grab Ash. And even if he managed that, he and Nadia were barely making by with what they had at home. With the restaurant only servicing on take-out, the flow of customers and money was significantly lower, thus causing them to significantly ration what they ate; being mindful of how much hot water they used; only turning on certain switches and electronics for when Shorter had to hop online for school. Things were rough. But at least Shorter and Nadia had each other. At least they were safe.

One night as he laid in bed texting Eiji, Shorter decided he couldn’t take it anymore.

 **Shorter**  
**eiji let’s do a group facetime or some shit**  
**we need to call ash we need to make sure he’s ok**  
**i can’t take not knowing anymore**  
**it’s late enough maybe he can slip away for a minute or two**

 **Eiji💕**  
**hm i do not know if ashu will respond **  
**but we can try !!******

********

********

Shorter took a deep breath, opened the groupchat, and hit the facetime button. _Maybe Ash will respond, maybe he’ll pick up, maybe he’s safe enough at twelve o’clock on a Wednesday night, please!_

Eiji joined the call immediately, his bright smile beaming at Shorter through the phone screen.

“No Ashu yet,” he mused as he shifted in bed so he was lying on his side.

“Not yet, no.” Shorter sighed. “What are the chances he picks up.”

Eiji hummed in thought. “I say . . . four out of ten. I have some confidence in him tonight.”

“Eiji that’s still a pretty low chance.”

The Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulder. “What do you think?” 

As soon as the words left his mouth, a new icon appeared. Shorter felt all the air leave his lungs. Ash was actually picking up!

“Ashu!” Eiji excitedly exclaimed as the blond’s pale face came into view. The excitement quickly dissipated once their friend spoke.

“Don’t call me, please never call me again. I don’t want you seeing this.” 

Shorter felt like the wind had gotten knocked out of him. “Ash, man, what are you talking about.”

There was a loud banging sound, and Ash said in a voice too high-pitched and breathy to be his own, “Coming Papa!” He waited a beat and then looked back at the camera. “Just leave me alone. I’m fine. Stop trying to call me. I can’t have you see this.” And with that, the blond hung up.

Eiji and Shorter sat in tense silence for what felt like hours. Eiji was the first to break the contemplative air.

“I do not think Ashu is okay.”

Shorter shook his head. “No, he’s definitely not okay.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking up right where the last one left off, Eiji learns some things about Ash and looks to help his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone!! :) im not super thrilled with this chapter but I needed to write something that wasn't schoolwork so here we are!! hope you are all doing well, and please enjoy!! :)

“Shorter.” Eiji stared at his phone, waiting for his friend to look back at the screen. When the boy did, Eiji took a deep breath before saying, “Can you tell me what is happening? With Ash? I--I know you know more than I do. I am just so worried. I know something bad is happening but . . . Please Shorter, he is my friend too.”

Eiji listened to Shorter groan, watched as he ran a hand from the top of his head down his face, pulling on his lower lip to make an exceptionally pronounced frown. 

“I . . . I don’t know Eiji. Ash has barely told me anything. Most of what I know is just me guessing.”

“Well, tell me your guesses. It is better I know what you think than I know nothing at all.” Eiji was not about to let Shorter hold back information. He felt more helpless than usual ever since quarantine started. Without seeing Ash and being able to help him in little ways, like making him laugh or forcing him to eat a granola bar, there was nothing for the Japanese boy to do for his American friend. He knew _nothing_ of Ash’s situation, only that it wasn’t very good. “Shorter. Tell me. Tell me or we are no longer friends.”

The purple-haired boy managed a laugh at that. “Well, I don’t believe that threat for a second. But okay, okay I’ll--I’ll tell you what I know.”

Part of Eiji wished he never asked. The other part, the part of him that screamed to be with Ash every day, knew it was what he needed to do.

“So Ash has been through a lot of shit. A _lot_ of shit. And I can’t tell you all of it, because that’s his shit to deal out, but I’ll start where I think you need to know.” There was a pause as Shorter shifted so he was lying on his stomach, his phone propped up so Eiji could see his entire face as well as his shoulders. “Ash ran away when he was eleven. And I don’t know how exactly but he was basically adopted by his current guardian, Dino Golzine. Now you don’t know this, cause you’re from Japan, but Dino is a huge name around here. He’s big money. I don’t know what exactly he’s rich for, but everyone knows his name. He’s just super fucking rich. So that’s kinda how he adopted Ash, I think. He was rich enough to just claim this random boy off the streets.”

“That sounds not good,” Eiji commented. He suddenly grew colder, as if all the warmth in the world had been snatched away. He didn’t like hearing about how his best friend was essentially stolen, as if he was a treasure rather than a human being. 

Shorter swallowed loud enough for his phone to pick it up. “Yeah. Yeah it’s not good. But um, so Ash has been living with that asshole for like six years now. And uh, have you ever noticed any marks on Ash? Like--bruises, or anything?”

Eiji pondered for a moment, letting his mind wander to when he used to see the blond in person. “I think so. I remember his wrists looking funny. Oh and--and the other week in math he had to put his camera on for partner work and his neck looked black and blue.”

“Yeah so, Dino hurts him. He--he does a lot of bad things to him, Eiji. He hits him. And he--this is where I’ve been kind of speculating based on things Ash says but--I’m pretty sure Dino sexually abuses him too.”

Eiji’s breath caught in his throat, his stomach dropped out, and his heart all but stopped. But Shorter kept talking.

“And he basically told me one time that Dino makes him go and have sex with other men. Like he makes him prostitute. That’s why everyone at school calls him a slut and a whore. They all know about it somehow. I don’t know how the rumors started but. Yeah.”

A million thoughts ran through Eiji’s head.

_How could anyone want to hurt Ash? Why did he run away? Was this Dino man really hurting him like that? Hurting Ash himself and making others do it too? All the rumors make sense now that Shorter tells me this. Oh poor Ash, I wish I could help you. You do not deserve this. You do not deserve any of this! You are the kindest, sweetest, best person I have ever met!_

“It is not Ashu’s fault,” was what managed it’s way out of Eiji’s mouth. “He--getting hurt, being called those bad names. Those are not his fault. These evil men are the reason.”

Shorter nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yeah it really is all their fault. God, what the fuck is wrong with people, to want to go and hurt a kid like that. He’s still a kid Eiji. He’s seventeen. These men they’re--they’re monsters!”

“That is an understatement.” Eiji had to fist his hand not holding his phone in his blanket he was so angry.

“And I just know that that Dino fucker is hurting Ash now that they’re cooped up together. Ash has nowhere to go, he can’t leave, he’s got to listen to everything Dino says or the man will fucking kill him. God Eiji, this is so fucked UP I just want to save him.”

“We will save him. We will save Ashu. I--I don’t know how, Shorter, but we have to.”

“Gah, that’s the thing Eiji!” Shorter dropped his face onto his bed and grumbled a few things, Eiji being unable to make out any of them. When he lifted his head back up, the Chinese boy looked as if he might have been crying. “Dino is so fucking powerful that he has people _everywhere_. Like, in the police, in child protective services. I can’t think of a single place we could contact to help Ash out. And I’ve done extensive research at this point.”

Eiji sat up in bed, trying to wrack his mind for anything he could think would help. “Is there a teacher we could tell?”

“Rumor has it that some of the teachers have made Ash have sex with them to drop a failing test grade.”

The Japanese boy gasped. “No! Why would they do that to Ashu? And wait--Ashu is a genius, there is no way he could fail.”

“You can’t ace every test when your guardian makes you sell your body multiple nights of the week,” Shorter explained. “Ash is a genius, but sometimes his circumstances get in the way of him actually being able to get by with that brain of his.”

Eiji wrapped an arm around himself. “Shorter, I don’t like this. I want to help Ashu. I--I am so scared for him.”

“Me too, buddy. Me too.”

\----

Once a week in math class, the teacher made everyone turn on their cameras and he sent them out into breakout rooms to do problems together. Eiji always hoped he would be paired with Ash, but so far he had not been so lucky.

And then his luck changed.

When Eiji’s computer screen popped back up after making the switch, he was beyond pleased to find himself staring at a certain green-eyed, blond-haired boy.

“Ashu!” Eiji was over the moon. After his conversation with Shorter a few nights prior, Eiji had been planning on paying special attention to his best friend come the one time a week he got to see his face on camera. Even if he was greeted with a haunted, hallowed look. 

Ash didn’t even attempt a smile. He looked more like a ghost than he did a human being. Eiji took special note of a new, darker collection of bruises encompassing Ash’s neck, and he watched as the American reached a shaking hand forward to use his mouse to unmute himself.

“Hi Eiji,” he croaked out. 

_He does not sound good_ , Eiji worried to himself. 

“Ashu it has been so long! How are you doing? Are you feeling ok?”

A flash of panic crossed the blond’s face, and he was quick to stutter out, “E-everything’s fine. I’m fine. I’m okay. Never better. Can we just--do the math problems? Please?”

There was nothing in the world Eiji wanted to do less than the assigned problems. But after watching his friend’s mild panic and hearing him practically beg to focus on them rather than his well being, Eiji had to comply.

_Do not make Ash more upset than he already is. He is going through hard times, he needs friendship and love, not pressure._

The brown-eyed boy nodded. “Yes Ashu, we can do the problems. Okay, let’s start with number one, yes?”

They worked in silence, silence which Eiji wished could have been amicable, if not for the fearful looks Ash continued to shoot past the camera every other minute, as if he was watching someone. Eiji wanted to reach through the screen and drag Ash over onto his side. He wanted to hug and hold his best friend, take him away from all the hurt he was being put through. But he could not do this.

He and Shorter agreed to facetime again soon to try and brainstorm ways to get Ash out safely. They did not want their friend suffering anymore. They wanted their fearlessly loyal friend to be safe and happy.

And Eiji was prepared to do whatever necessary to achieve that goal.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash does the unthinkable: he asks for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we have finally arrived at what so many of us have hoped for !! hope you all enjoy :)

Ash couldn’t take it anymore. He really couldn’t. His body was failing him. His mind was spiraling. He barely felt like he could last another day.

He needed to get out.

But he was trapped. 

Absolutely trapped. 

There seemed to be no way to get out. Ash couldn’t just run, that was impossible. He wouldn’t make it past the foyer. He couldn’t call anyone; he never had enough alone time, and he knew Dino had people in the police force. In fact, he was pretty sure some of them had even been virtual clients. 

The only option Ash could think of was his friends, but he couldn’t drag Eiji or Shorter into the hell that was his life. They would be put in danger (no one stands a chance when they’re an enemy of Dino), and Ash would never live with himself if he placed them in that type of situation. 

So he was stuck. He was stuck with Dino until the quarantine let up. And even then he wasn’t _really_ free. 

Each day went by bringing more pain and anguish, and Ash teetered closer and closer to the edge. 

And then it happened. A chance.

“Alright so, administration found out I cut all your assignments and they’re pissed. So I’m just gonna be giving you all some meaningless, easy little writeups to do for me every now and then. Easy points, easy points,” Lobo announced to the class. “Your first one is due by the end of the period, you really just have to report on something that happened to you within the past week.”

Ash sighed. He wasn’t going to be able to complete the assignment, not with the way Dino was feeling him up right then. But then, the impossible happened. The doorbell rang. 

Dino grumbled before running a hand through Ash’s hair. “I’ll be right back, kitten.” 

Ash nodded as he watched the man walk out of the room. He only had a few moments.

Pulling up an empty document, Ash began typing: 

_Lobo please help me i need help please get me out of my house please please please_

Ash wasn’t one to ask for help. In fact, he resented the action. But he couldn’t take it any longer, he really couldn’t. 

He quickly unmuted himself. “Lobo, where do we submit it.”

The teacher paused his little lecture. “Oh you--how did you finish it so quickly?”

He was running out of time. “Lobo please just tell me,” he practically whined.

_God I sound pathetic._

“Uh, yeah just through the class page.”

Ash kept glancing at the door as he quickly pulled up the webpage and hurriedly submitted his one sentence assignment. As soon as it went through, the submission confirmed, Ash deleted the document off his computer, as if his pathetic cry for help never happened. 

Ash looked at Lobo, the teacher appearing confused and concerned before he continued on with his explanation of the assignment. A few seconds later, Dino came back into the room.

“Sorry Ash, something was being delivered.”

“It’s okay, Papa. I missed you.” Ash did his best to make it sound genuine.

“Oh kitten, you never have to worry about me leaving you for long. You’re here with me forever.”

\----

It happened later that night, while Dino was using him. Ash was trying to zone out while staying conscious, trying to ignore the words Dino was spewing at him. He hadn’t been allowed to eat at dinner that night, just like the night before. He had been forced to engage in certain activities the second school ended, and he hadn’t gotten a single moment’s rest. He felt like shit.

And then a new noise caught his attention.

There was a loud _BANG_ from downstairs, causing Dino to freeze and Ash’s breath to hitch. The sound of heavy footsteps became louder and louder.

“What is going on?” As Dino began to pull back from Ash, the bedroom door flung open. 

There was shouting, Ash recognized the cocking of guns, he felt a hand around his throat, heard Dino yelling at him, though the words were incomprehensible. His vision began to blur and darken at the edges before the pressure on his neck was let up and he took in a gasping breath. He felt the weight of the man being pulled off him.

Ash turned his head and caught a glimpse of Mr. Max Lobo standing in his doorway.

_Oh, is he mad at me for the assignment I turned in?_

And then he passed out.

\----

_“He looks awful.”_

_“Look at those marks.”_

_“Those bruises.”_

_“Oh, he’s a mess.”_

_“What did that man do to him?!”_

_“I should have known something was going on. I should have gotten him out sooner. I didn’t have any proof. And then he asked for help.”_

_“You did the right thing, Max. We got him now.”_

Ash grunted, his eyes fluttering open and closed.

_“Hey, hey Ash, it’s okay. Just keep your eyes closed, stay sleeping, it’s alright.”_

Ash didn’t fight the command.

\----

When Ash properly came to, the first thing he noticed was a steady beeping sound. He then noticed how fuzzy he felt, as if he was in a haze.

_Where the fuck am I?_

He slowly opened his eyes, squinting against the harsh fluorescent lights that poured down onto him. He raised a hand to shield his face when he noticed wires and tubes attached to him. His breath hitched.

_WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!_

He didn’t wait for his eyes to adjust as he bolted up and glanced around the room. He was greeted by a voice, concern lacing the rushed words, “Oh my god you’re awake.”

Ash let the world blur together for a second before he blinked and focused in the direction of the voice. There, sitting in a chair beside where he was lying, was Mr. Lobo, his journalism teacher. Ash cocked his head, studying the man beside him. Lobo gave him a small, soft smile. 

“Hi Ash,” he said in a voice way too gentle. “How’re you doing?”

Ash rubbed at his eyes, groaning as his limbs tingled as if they were being woken up. “Where---?”

“We’re in the hospital, kid. You’re checked into the hospital.” 

Ash’s eyes blew wide with panic. 

_No, I can’t be here he’ll find me and be so mad._

“No I--I can’t--I need to leave. I can’t be here. He--he’s gonna be so mad. He’s gonna--you have to let me go home.” The words flew out of his mouth, and Ash lifted the blanket off himself so that he could begin his escape. He was stopped by a firm but gentle hand on his shoulder.

“No Ash, you’re staying here. You’re safe here. You never have to see that man again. He’s gone, Ash. He’s gone.”

Those words couldn’t be right. Ash couldn’t be safe from Dino, he just couldn’t. There was no way. The man _owned_ him. He had people everywhere so that even if Ash left, he could be caught and returned.

“What? No I--Lobo I--that’s not right. He--I can’t escape him.”

The teacher frowned slightly as his student’s words. “Ash, Dino was arrested. My buddy Charlie at the police station, he and some other trustworthy officers helped arrest him. We stayed clear of any people Dino knew. Ash he’s gone for good. You don’t have to worry about him anymore, I promise.”

Maybe it was relief, at hearing those words. Maybe it was fear that they were too good to be true. Maybe it was whatever drugs they were pumping into him. Maybe it was because the hand on his shoulder was the first non-malicious touch he’d had in _months_. Or maybe it was because deep down he was really, truly, sad and broken.

But Ash cried. He let out a sob, his shoulders violently shaking, his eyes scrunched tightly shut. He sat there, in that hospital bed, and let loose all the tears he could never let Dino see. 

And his teacher stayed right there beside him, not speaking a word, keeping a grounding, warm hand on his shoulder. 

Ash didn’t know what came over him, but he felt as if there was nothing that could stop his tears. They just kept coming and coming. And with them came soothing words, words that hadn’t been spoken to him since he was a kid and his brother was his only supporter.

“It’s alright. Let it out, Ash. Let it all out. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I’m here, I’m gonna help you. You aren’t gonna be alone in this.”

The words made Ash cry harder, and before he knew it, he was grabbing the sleeve of the man beside him and tugging him closer. 

_You stupid whore. He’s not going to want to touch something as disgusting and dirty as you. You don’t deserve to be held like this._

He ignored the voice in his head and pulled Mr. Lobo closer until his face met the soft fabric of the man’s shirt, and he just buried his face against him.

Here he was, a seventeen-year-old high schooler, crying--no, _sobbing_ \--into his teacher’s chest. Where Ash was expected to be met with resistance, he felt acceptance, an arm coming around his shoulders to pull him even closer and hold him all the tighter.

“Thank you for trusting me Ash. Thank you for letting me help you.”

\----

An indiscernible amount of tears and softly spoken words later, Ash eventually settled down against his bed, his eyes red and puffy, his face shiny from the tears. He laid there staring at the floor as Lobo talked with a nurse who had come into check on him. They were whispering something about IVs. Ash tried to block it out.

Eventually, Lobo came back over. “They're gonna keep you on the IV for a bit, get some nutrients back in you.”

Ash responded with a grunt. “Whatever, Lobo.”

The ex-journalist almost laughed. “You can call me Max. No need to keep up the whole Mr. Lobo shtick.”

“Whatever, _Max_ ,” Ash tried out the title, feeling a strange sense of pride at being able to call his teacher by his first name. 

~~Lobo~~ Max smiled at him before his soft expression was replaced with a rather grim one. 

“Ash, Charlie is gonna come here tomorrow. He’s gonna need you to talk. But I know that’s gonna be upsetting and take a lot of effort. He’ll go at your pace, but I just want you to be ready for that.”

Ash swallowed thickly. “I’m gonna--have to--tell him? Everything that happened?”

Max nodded slowly as he confirmed, “Yeah. Yeah you’re gonna have to tell them as much as you can so that Dino and any one else can be locked away for good.”

_It’s not like you’ve ever had privacy._

“Okay. Just--please don’t fail me for the year once you’ve heard everything I’ve said.”

Max cocked his head. “Ash, why on earth would I fail you? For what you’re gonna say?”

The blond nodded, averting his gaze from his teacher. “Because you’ll hate me once you learn what I am.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max learns a lot about Ash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy so im feeling pretty good about this one !! it's a lot of ash's trauma so be wary !! anyways thanks for reading !! :)

“Yeah, Jess . . . I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I just-- . . . Yeah . . . No, yeah. I know . . . Charlie’s coming back tomorrow and we’re gonna get this whole thing figured out . . . No I gotta stay. He’s got no one but me Jess . . . Jess, he’s _scared_. I’m not gonna leave him. And neither would you. . . Alright. Bye. Love you.”

Max ran a hand down his face as he placed his phone back in his pocket. He hadn’t told Jessica what he was doing when he left the house that night. He simply said he needed something from the store. And then he proceeded to drive to the police station, where he met Charlie before they booked it over to Ash’s place.

Several long hours had gone by since they got Ash out, and it was the first time Max wasn’t dealing with police officers, nurses, or a crying teenager, so he slipped out to call his wife and actually tell her what had happened. She sounded pissed, but Max knew she wouldn’t give up on someone in need, especially a kid. 

Max waited outside the door, hoping the nurses and doctor would finish up soon. They were able to conduct most of the examinations and procedures on Ash while he had been unconscious, but they wanted him awake for the general check up. Max offered to stay in the room, figured the boy didn’t want to be alone with strangers, but he gritted out that he didn’t want Max seeing him like that. 

_As if I didn’t see you in the most vulnerable position possible when we broke into your house_ , Max thought to himself as he had left the room. So now, he was just waiting. 

A few minutes later and the door swung open, a nurse motioning him inside. He followed, glancing at Ash who’s eyes were red, his frail frame shaking slightly as a nurse pulled the blanket back over him. The nurse leading Max in started to say something, probably something important too, but Max marched straight over to Ash.

“What happened?” he asked in a soft but stern voice. “Did one of them hurt you? Did one of them _touch_ you?”

Ash shook his head weakly, his blonde hair falling in front of his face. “N-no they--nothing happened. I just--kinda broke down when they asked me to take my gown off. So they could examine me. I’m fine. I p-promise.”

Max glanced at the nurse who had been helping Ash get situated. “Is he telling the truth? And don’t try and lie to me about it. I’m not putting up for any of that shit.”

The nurse’s eyebrows flew to her hairline. “No, sir! He’s telling the truth! He did get upset, and then we helped him calm down.”

He couldn’t fully believe either Ash or the nurse, but he nodded. 

“Mr. Lobo, if I could speak with you.” Max looked over at the nurse who had tried talking to him as she led him in.

“Oh, right.” He glanced back at Ash, giving him a look that he hoped read _You’ll be okay if I go over there?_ Ash, thankfully, responded with a nod, so Max sauntered over to the nurse. “Everything alright?”

The nurse hummed, flipping through papers in a clipboard. “He’s not in good shape. To be frankly honest, I’m not even sure how he’s alive. It’s going to take him a while to get back to feeling good.” She went on to talk about his various injuries, his eating habits, not to mention the prolonged trauma he would have to process. Max’s heart hurt as she continued to list issues off. 

By the time she was finished, she glanced down at her watch. “Well, seeing as it’s midnight, I should be off.” She checked on Ash one last time before leaving, and it was back to being just the two of them, student and teacher, in the room.

The older man pulled his chair back next to Ash’s bed, flopping down into it and sighing. “Now that they’re gone, you promise me they didn’t hurt you? You can tell me the truth, Ash.”

Ash nodded, this time looking more confident. “They didn’t touch me. Well, they did, but just for the examination. Not like--that.”

A sigh escaped past Max’s lips. “Good. Good, I was worried.”

The nod that came from Ash was almost too small to notice. “Me too. I--I was really nervous when they were in here. When you weren’t in here.”

Max kicked himself. _Of course_ the kid would feel on edge without the only adult he trusted not being in the room. But he had told Max to leave. God, and Max thought he was able to read him. Maybe he had been wrong.

“I’m sorry, Ash. I didn’t mean to leave you alone like that. I figured you wanted privacy.”

Ash laughed, short, curt, and upset-sounding. “I’m not really used to privacy.”

\----

Charlie arrived early the next morning, a few of the officers from the night before in tow. If Max had to guess, the man was running on a maximum of two hours sleep, and that was being generous.

They had set up a small table in Ash’s room, notebooks and computers strewn across it. Charlie’s men sat at the table, while Charlie chose to stand next to Ash’s bed alongside Max. 

Formalities aside, the policeman decided to begin. Max was ready to jump in at a moment’s notice, force Charlie and his crew out, hug Ash if he needed it. 

This wasn’t going to be fun.

“So, Ash,” Charlie began, “I have a feeling there’s a lot more to your case than what we found in your house last night. Could you maybe start us off, walk us through everything?”

Max watched Ash swallow, noticed how he adjusted himself so he was sitting up straighter, saw his hands begin to fidget with the edge of his blanket.

_He’s so nervous._

“So, um, Dino took me in when I was eleven. I ran away from home after it got too hard to deal with all the talk about me. Oh I--I should have started with that. I, uh, I was raped when I was seven by my little league coach. And the police said I seduced him. So they didn’t do anything. So my dad made me make him pay me any time he raped me after that. And then I shot him. And the town never shut up about it.” His green eyes fell down to his lap. 

_Holy fuck_. Max couldn’t believe all of that happened before he even got to Golzine. 

“I think I’ve heard of that before. Say, is Ash your real name?” Charlie probed. 

Ash squirmed. _Sensitive topic_ , Max presumed.

“No it’s--it’s not. I gave Dino a fake one. My real name is Aslan Jade Callenreese.”

Max had to do a double take. “I’m sorry. Could you repeat that Ash?”

Ash blinked at him. “Uh, it’s--it’s Aslan Callenreese.”

_No fucking way._

Max couldn’t believe the words he heard coming out of this boy’s mouth. This boy, who was his student. This boy, who just got saved from an abusive house. This boy, who ran away at eleven years old. This boy, who just so happened to have the same name of the younger brother of Max’s best friend. 

Well, best friend, before the man had died in war.

This boy was the same young kid who loved nothing more than playing catch with his brother. This boy was the same one who included drawings of cats and dogs and all sorts of animals in his letters to his brother. This boy _was the same boy_ as the one Griffin was trying to get home to, the one who he didn’t want to abandon. 

The Ash sitting in front of him was Griffin’s Aslan.

The question stumbled out of Max’s mouth before he had much time to think. “You’re Griffin’s younger brother?!”

Now it was Ash’s turn to look surprised. His green eyes widened, his nervous expression turning into one of confusion. 

“I--yeah. How do you know--?”

“I fought in Iraq with him! We were in the same unit! He was my best friend. He talked about you all the time. Oh my GOD, _you’re_ Aslan!” Max laughed a little to himself, disbelief trying to convince him it wasn’t possible.

“You--Max Glenreed. He talked about you in his letters. I--Max what happened to him? He just stopped writing one day.”

_Oh shit, he doesn’t know._

As if Max’s heart couldn’t break anymore, he felt another crack begin to splinter. 

“Oh, Ash. Oh, you don’t know?”

Ash shook his head, a pained look on his face despite the fact he hadn’t even received the news yet.

“Ash, he--your brother--Griffin--he died. He was shot and he--he died. I watched it happen. There wasn’t anything I could do to save him. I tried so fucking hard though.”

Max wasn’t sure the boy could look any sadder than he had last night as he bawled his eyes out into Max’s chest. He had been wrong. 

For the second time in the past twelve hours, Max watched Ash’s resolve break as the boy began to bawl. Ash’s face crumpled, eyes squeezing shut as a broken _sob_ forced its way out. He hunched in on himself this time, clearly more aware of the people watching him, but that didn’t make it any less heart breaking. If anything, it hurt more to watch him cry like this, to watch him try and hide his sorrow from prying eyes.

There was nothing Max wanted to do more than reach out and pull him into a hug, but he knew that wasn’t a smart move given everything he had been through. 

Max stood there, next to Charlie, and watched Ash full-on sob for a few good minutes, before he softly spoke up. “Ash--Aslan--do you need me?”

Glassy, tear-filled jade eyes met his. 

_“His eyes are the most beautiful green you’ve ever seen. Almost like a gem, they’re so fucking deep. He’s got more emotions in his eyes than I’ve ever seen, Max. Everything about him is just--beautiful. He’s a great kid.”_

Max tried to push Griffin’s voice away as he stared at the said, now sobbing, kid in front of him. 

“Aslan, let me help.” Max slowly reached a hand out to Ash, sure to not move too fast or suddenly. The deep green gems followed him, watching as the hand gently landed on his shoulder. “C’mere kid. Let me help.”

Max dared to pull Ash into a hug. Thankfully, Ash melted into the touch, burying his face against Max in a position that was all too familiar to the both of them. Max ran a hand through Ash’s golden hair, the same hair Griffin used to describe as being the softest thing known to man. 

“He j-just--stopped writing one d-day. I--I d-didn’t know what h-happened. M-my dad d-didn’t know either. Or if he d-did he--he wouldn’t t-t-tell me.” Ash mumbled this all in between sobs into Max’s chest. The ex-journalist could feel two wet spots forming on his shirt, but he didn’t care. He’d hold Ash as he cried for as long as the boy needed. 

“He talked about you every day,” Max whispered to Ash. “You were all he ever talked about. He showed us the letters you wrote, all the pictures you drew him. He never shut up about you, I swore you must have been his own son with how he talked about you. He loved you so much, Ash. So much. He wanted to get back home to you. That’s all he wanted. I’m sorry they took him from you.”

The words made Ash cry harder, the sobs causing his whole body to shake. He fisted his hands tighter in Max’s shirt, pulling the two of them even closer together.

“H-he--he w-wouldn’t l-love me--any--more.”

Tears pricked Max’s eyes, daring to spill over the edge.

“That’s not true, Ash.” Max couldn’t stop his voice from cracking with emotion. “He loved you so much. And I know for a fact he would have done everything he could to have tried to get you back. He wouldn’t have hated you for anything. There was nothing you could have done to make him stop loving you.”

The tears came harder and harder. Ash cried into Max for what felt like hours, which in reality had probably only been ten minutes at most. When the boy pulled back, his eyes were puffy, his cheeks wet and shiny, his hair stuck to where the tears had fallen. Max used his thumb to brush the tear tracks off, and he ran a hand through Ash’s hair to get it back to its natural messiness.

Max smiled softly at him. Ash just stared back up, his expression somewhat unreadable. Max couldn’t figure out if he was angry, sad, annoyed, happy--there were a million emotions swimming around in his eyes.

They were startled by the sound of Charlie clearing his throat. “There’s no rush, so do you need a few more minutes to collect yourself?”

Max watched as Ash slowly nodded. “Y-yeah. Yes please.”

\----

When Ash was finally feeling good enough to restart, the words he had spoken the night before came rushing back.

_“Because you’ll hate me once you learn what I am.”_

It reminded Max that they hadn’t even gotten to the worst parts, and Ash had already had a breakdown. 

_This is gonna be rough._

“Okay, Ash. Ash? Or would you prefer Aslan?” Charlie inquired. 

“Oh, uh, Ash is fine. Aslan--I haven’t been called that in years.” There was an underlying nostalgia evident in his voice.

“Okay, great. So Ash, can you go back to what you were saying about Golzine taking you in?”

Ash nodded, blond hair bouncing slightly. “Yeah, so, I ran away when I was eleven. This guy named Marvin was who found me. Marvin Crosby. He works for Dino, collecting stray kids to use at--have you heard of Club Cod?”

Max remembered the name of the club having floated around his journalist buddies, but he didn’t know much about it other than the fact that it was shady.

“Yeah, I recognize the place,” Charlie confirmed.

“Well, Marvin gathers the kids that they use for the sex trafficking ring. All the little boys these big rich people pay to fuck. I was one of them. He got me. I was part of that whole thing for about a year. And then Dino, the owner of the club, came by one day, and he saw me, and he _really_ liked what he saw. I was a hefty price at the club, cause boys with blond hair and green eyes were the top sellers, and he decided he wanted me all to himself.” Here Ash took a pause, breathing deeply for a moment. Max wanted to remind him he could stop at any point, but he had a feeling Ash was trying to get all of it out in one go. “Dino took me from the club, and I started living with him. He used me pretty often, and if he had important visitors, people he was looking to impress, he would let them use me too. It took me months, probably a whole year, before I learned how to stop crying every time they forced themselves on me. Dino also had me model. If you want, I can give you the names of the catalogs and shit and you can look them all up.”

Charlie nodded, and the others took note as Ash listed off vulgar names, some worse than others. Max felt sick just listening, he couldn’t imagine how much pain Ash must have been in from all these years of torture.

“Dino had all his clients take pictures and videos when they were fucking us. He had most of it on his own computer, but there are plenty of mine on illegal websites. I’ll help you find them once I finish. But uh, yeah. So I lived with him. He eventually let me go to school because I was out-smarting all the tutors he hired me, and my reward was getting to go to real school. But even then, he still set me up with clients and I still treated him every night. And then quarantine started. And it--” Ash’s voice wavered, clearly having hit where things began to hurt, fresh wounds and all. 

_This Dino bastard must have hurt him real bad during quarantine, cause if this is what breaks him after all the other shit he’s been through, then holy fuck._

“He just--never left me alone. I couldn’t leave the house for school. He followed me everywhere, even during class. He would make me touch him and he would touch me when my camera was off for class. He would s-say things to me, about how my classmates would be disgusted to know that I was such a slut, how I had my hands on him right then. It--it was bad. And then because we couldn’t have in person clients, he made me take videos of myself, have people pay for them. And I took clients virtually. My shit’s all over websites, some legal, others illegal. We lied about my age, obviously. Whatever we could do to get us money. There are s-so many videos.”

“We’ll take them all down. We’ll track and find the people who took calls with you, we’re gonna help Ash,” Charlie reassured him. 

Max watched the boy just shrug. “Doesn’t matter to me at this point. The damage is done. But so, yeah. Dino just used me every day, multiple times a day. He wouldn’t let me eat, wanted to keep me thin. I--there’s not really much else to it other than he relentlessly fucked me and made me fuck myself. It just--it got to a point, where I couldn’t take it anymore. I wasn’t getting to even piss by myself, that’s how obsessively he followed me. I--I needed it to end.”

“It’s over, Ash.” Max spoke up before Charlie had the chance to react. “All of that shit is over. You never have to do any of that ever again, got it?”

The boy’s emotional eyes stared back at him blankly, and Max knew he didn’t believe a word he heard. 

Ash shifted his gaze to Charlie. “Give me the computer, I’ll pull the websites up.”

\----

It had been a _long_ day. For all of them. 

Max had been impressed by Ash’s ability to stay calm the whole time. That is until the first video started. His resolve quickly broke, and Max held him to his chest once again and they listened to little Ash cry out in pain. 

Max never wanted to hear those sounds again. 

When Charlie and the other officers left, Ash was barely keeping his eyes open. It had been particularly taxing on him, having to recount so much horror. He had latched onto Max’s hand halfway through, and his fingers were currently tightly coiled between the older man’s. Max ran a thumb over the boy’s knuckles, his way of saying _It’s okay, you did good, you can rest now_. 

Max looked down at the boy, his eyelids fluttering, his head lolling to the side. 

“Hey, Aslan,” he practically whispered. He received a grunt in response. “Go to sleep, kid. You’re good. I’ll be right here, if you need anything. But go to sleep.”

Having the verbal confirmation, Ash no longer attempted to fight the pull of unconsciousness. His head thumped back against his pillow, his breathing evening out rather quickly. 

Max wiggled his phone out of his pocket with his free hand, slowly crafting a text message to Jessica with just one thumb.

**Jess**   
**Hey Jess. So remember Ash who I told you about this morning? Well turns out he’s Griff’s younger brother. And he’s been through a lot. So I was thinking, with your permission of course dear, that maybe we should take him in.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We think something bad happened to Ash."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really short I apologize but I wrote it right before going to work !! hope you all still enjoy it nonetheless !!

Shorter wass in class almost dozing off when he gets the text.

**Eiji💕**  
**ash is not in class today**

Shorter sat upright and snatched his phone, quickly typing out a response.

**Shorter**  
**what do you mean he’s not in class**

**Eiji💕**  
**i am sitting here looking for his icon and he is not here**  
**shorter what if something happened**  
**what if he is hurt**

_Fuck fuck fuck this is bad._

Shorter figured it was only a matter of time before things got too bad, before Ash’s “dad” hurt him too badly. 

And Shorter felt it was all his fault for not being able to help his friend more.

**Shorter**  
**well fuck**  
**uh i guess we can try texting him**  
**holy shit eiji this is bad**

**Eiji💕**  
**i know shorter i am scared**  
**what do we do is there anything we can do**

Shorter leaned forward and shut his camera off, not caring if the teacher would revoke his attendance if she can’t see him. His friend was more important right now.

**Shorter**  
**im gonna try calling him**  
**maybe i’ll get lucky and he’ll pick up**

Pulling up Ash’s contact and hitting the call button, Shorter sat and listened to the tone ring.

_Please pick up you bastard. Please be okay. Please, Ash, please!_

He was met with Ash’s voicemail, a robotic lady telling him his friend was unavailable. Shorter groaned and slammed his phone onto his bed.

“Where’s my friend you motherfucker!” Shorter realized his hands were shaking as he yelled helplessly at his phone. “Where’s my friend?! What happened to him?!”

“Shorter Wong, please turn your camera back on. We are having a class discussion.” Shorter’s teacher’s voice broke him out of his rage. 

Unmuting himself, Shorter slowly said, “I have to leave class. I’ll text someone for the work I miss.” And then he left the call.

Vaulting himself off his bed, Shorter grabbed his phone before slipping on a jacket and making his way down to the restaurant front. 

Nadia was walking out of the kitchen when he shoved his shoes on and frantically put a mask on.

“Shorter, what the hell are you doing. Don’t you have school?” Concern laced her voice, despite the pissed off expression her eyebrows suggested was hiding behind her face mask.

“I have to go to Eiji’s house. We think something bad happened to Ash. I know I shouldn’t be leaving here, but this is serious Nadia. I have to go. I’m sorry. I’ll be back in a few hours.” Before his older sister could argue, Shorter grabbed his bike keys and booked it out the side door. 

\----

He arrived at Eiji’s not ten minutes later, hastily parking, not even waiting to take his helmet off as he called the boy.

“Eiji, I’m parked outside your apartment. Which room are you?”

Eiji made a surprised noise on the other side of the phone. “You are--Shorter what?! Why are you--”

“We are gonna figure out what happened to Ash. We have to, Eiji. I promise I haven’t left my house at all, I’m not sick. And Chang Dai hasn’t gotten many customers, but it’s all take-out and we don’t even interact with them.” Shorter took his friend’s silence as a refusal, until he saw the door in front of him open and the Japanese boy standing there with a mask on.

“Yes, let us find Ashu.” He sounded breathless, as if he ran down several flights to get there.

“Okay. Let’s go in and figure out what we’re gonna do.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji and Shorter have a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello !! hope this chapter makes up for the shortness of the last one lol :) also just assume everyone is wearing face masks all the time, i didn't feel like clarifying it every second so yeah !! ok enjoy thanks for reading !! <3

“Have you ever been to Ashu’s house before?” Eiji inquired from where he was perched on his bed. He was looking down at Shorter, the purple-haired boy splayed out on the ground. 

“Yeah, once,” Shorter replied. He stared at the ceiling, deep in concentration. “It’s got a lot of security and shit. The second we step onto the property alarms will go off and the whole NYPD would come and bust our asses.” He sat up with a groan, scratching the shaved side of his head. “I don’t know how else to get him out, though. He doesn’t leave, neither does Dino.”

Eiji hummed in thought, tapping his chin, the serious look on his face hidden behind his mask. “We need to do whatever we can to save Ashu. If we have to break in, then that is what we do.”

His response was met with a loud groan, though it sounded more like a whine, but Eiji considered Shorter too cool to whine.

“I agree, Eiji. I fucking agree. But, if we get caught, Dino is gonna make it so we stay arrested. Like, permanently. And I have no issue risking my ass for that, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting you get arrested.”

“But this is Ash! I want to help him. I will do anything to help him,” Eiji protested. He wasn’t about to sit back and watch his friend try and save Ash on his own. There was no possibility of that happening. 

“I know. God I know Eiji cause I feel the same way! But if we actually want to save him, we’re gonna have to come up with a full-proof plan. Cause also if we fail, Ash is going to get hurt more.” 

_Shit, he is right. I never thought about that. We cannot put Ash in more danger._

“Is there anyone who can help us? I can ask Ibe-san if he knows people. He has some friends here who might be able to help.”

Shorter stood up in one fluid motion. “I like the thought, but I feel like asking adult men to help us save Ash from being hurt by adult men isn’t great.”

“When we save him, Ashu will have to talk to the police, yes?” Eiji knew the police were a sticky situation, but there was no way he and Shorter could break their friend out of his abusive household without getting the authorities involved to some degree. 

“Fuck!” Shorter yelled the word as he kicked the leg of Eiji’s bed, causing Eiji to wobble a little. The Chinese boy stood there, gathering himself for a moment, before he took a deep breath and said, “Okay. Okay this is what we’re gonna do, so listen carefully. If this goes wrong, we’re all in deep shit.”

Eiji nodded, never feeling more serious than he had about anything else in his entire life.

\----

Eiji had ridden on Shorter’s bike with him before, but never had the teen been so careful as to follow the speed limit and keep the engine from roaring loudly. Eiji watched as they left the cramped, crowded streets of the inner city and began to make their way to its edges. Houses that reminded him of Izumo came into view, and if the weight of what he was about to do wasn’t hanging on him, Eiji would have taken the time to feel somewhat nostalgic.

But there was one thing on his mind, and it was Ash.

They drove a little further, the house steadily getting bigger, until they pulled into a neighborhood full of the biggest houses Eiji had ever seen. He gasped, not believing these were places that people actually lived.

“Stay quiet, we’re gonna park a block or so down so they won’t see us,” Shorter said as they began to slow down. Eiji nodded, though he realized Shorter wouldn’t have been able to see the motion behind him. 

The bike stopped and the engine went dead. They pulled their helmets off, Eiji not taking the time to find Shorter’s mused up mohawk funny this time around. 

_We are going to save Ash._

They hopped off the bike and began to stalk down the sidewalk in the direction of what Eiji assumed to be Ash’s house. Tall shrubbery guarded the house from view, making Eiji all the more nervous.

_What if there are guards outside, if this man is as rich as Shorter says he is. What if I mess up and we do not get Ash out. What if Ash is not alive. What if I have to leave Shorter behind like he told me._

_What if what if what if._

Shorter held his hand up, motioning for Eiji to stop walking. They pressed themselves against the shrubs, and Shorter peaked his head around. Eiji flinched a little when he heard his friend gasp.

_Oh no, it is already that bad. This place must really be a nightmare._

“What are the fucking cops doing here?!” Shorter’s shrill whisper startled Eiji. 

“The cops?” He pushed past the taller boy to glance around and, sure enough, at least four cop cars sat in the long driveway leading up to Ash’s house. 

“What the fuck,” Shorter breathed out. 

_Are we too late? Did someone else try to help Ash and it backfired? How are we going to save him with all of these officers around?_

“Shorter, what now?”

The purple-haired boy groaned, the eyes hidden behind his sunglasses frantically shifting from each officer and their cars. “Fuck. I don’t even know Eiji. Oh my god, this is bad.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, new plan. I won’t pass for a resident of this fancy-ass neighborhood, but you might. Can you try walking past and asking what’s going on? Say like, that you’re on your afternoon walk and saw the commotion and wanted to make sure everything’s okay.”

Though the idea terrified him half to death, Eiji knew it was practically their only chance at helping Ash. 

“So, I just say I am on walk and wonder what is happening?”

“Bingo,” Shorter said, lightly smacking Eiji’s back in an encouraging gesture. 

Eiji swallowed down his nerves and took a deep breath. “Okay. For Ashu.”

Straightening his posture and putting on an air of fake confidence, Eiji ran back toward the bike a few paces so it wasn’t obvious he had been hiding behind the shrub. Then, he confidently walked forward. He glanced at Shorter, the boy nervously tapping his foot as Eiji strode toward the house.

Once he cleared the shrub and got a full view of the house, the gasp that escaped him was genuine. The building was _huge_. And there were several police officers milling about, going in and out at will. 

_Just get close enough that you can ask. Pretend you live here. This is for Ash._

Eiji dared to take a few strides closer to the house, and he looked at the officers, hoping to catch one of their gazes. Then, a man exiting the house locked eyes with Eiji.

“Hey boy!” He began to walk down the driveway, several officers now turning to stare at Eiji.

_Do not freak out. Do not panic. Stick to the story. It is okay._

The officer stopped once he reached the gate separating him and Eiji. Eiji couldn’t catch a look at his face because of the mask, but his eyes did not look hard and full of hate like he expected. If anything, they looked _sad_.

“What are you doing, boy? Just keep walking, you don’t wanna be near this house.”

“Oh, I am sorry. I was just on my walk, and I noticed the cars. Is everything okay?” Eiji tried to keep a sweet lilt to his voice, not wanting there to be any suspicion whatsoever. 

“While it’s none of your business, you should be happy to know that you have one less creep living in this neighborhood. Old man was arrested yesterday, we’re just going through the house today.”

_Arrested?! Dino was arrested?! So where is Ash?_

“Mr. Golzine was arrested? Oh, but he was always so friendly.” Eiji hated those words coming out of his mouth, knowing they were far from the truth.

The officer huffed out a laugh. “Maybe that’s what his son was forced to tell you. I’m sure you knew the boy, though you might be a bit younger than him.”

Eiji shook his head, feigning aloofness. “No, I did not know he had a son.”

“Well, he’s not his actual son, but yeah he had a kid living with him. That’s what this whole deal is about.”

“Oh. Well, is the kid okay?” _This is it, this is what I need. Tell me where Ash is!_

“Not really. I mean, he’ll recover, he’s in the hospital now. But man oh _man_ did he look bad.”

That’s all Eiji needed to hear.

_Ash is alive. He’s at the hospital and he is alive!_

“Ok, thank you officer, I will be on my way.” Without shame, Eiji turned around and practically ran to Shorter. If the officer was suspicious of his behavior, he did nothing about it. 

Shorter was already running to his bike, shoving his helmet on. “The fucking HOSPITAL, Eiji!”

Eiji nodded as he caught up, putting his own helmet on and clambering on behind Shorter.

“He is alive though. Shorter, Ash is alive!”

\----

Despite Shorter’s charm and Eiji’s cute nature, the hospital would not let them in to see their friend. They tried everything, even attempting to convince the receptionist that they were cousins. It didn’t work. They were practically thrown out.

Shorter kicked a rock as they walked back to his bike in defeat. “I need to see that bastard! I need to see him!”

Eiji nodded solemnly. “Me too. I want to see Ashu.”

Shorter perked up, an idea popping into his head. “Maybe he can actually pick up his phone now!”

Eiji watched him pull their friend’s contact up and hold the phone to his ear. When he was met with nothing but the voicemail, Shorter groaned and shoved his phone back into his pocket. 

“He is probably having tests and treatments done. I can imagine he is busy,” Eiji tried to reason. Shorter responded with a sigh. Eiji was trying to inspire them both when he said, “We will try again tomorrow. We will come back tomorrow and try again. And we will call and text him so much now that we know he is safe.”

_Ash is safe. He is out. He will be okay. He is alive._

_Ash is alive._


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash gets some visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi all !! hope you enjoy this chapter !! i wanted to add more but it is two in the morning for me as i am deciding to post it so !! yay !! ok thanks for reading !! :)

_“They’re all watching you, Ash. They can all see what a perfect little toy you are.”_

_Ash shook his head as Dino pushed his shoulders down on the bed more._

_“Your classmates are probably loving this, yeah? Seeing how beautiful you look underneath me. Come on, kitten, give them a performance. Show them what you can do.”_

_Ash looked, expecting to see all his classmates’ faces staring back at him, but he only saw one pair of eyes. Dark brown, staring right into his soul._

_Eiji._

_”Ash, I cannot believe,” the boy said, and Ash felt his heart break into a million pieces, “what a_ whore _you are.”_

Ash woke with a start, sweat beading his forehead as he bolted upright in bed. Before he could register anything, he heard a deep voice to his side.

“You’re alright, you’re good. It’s okay, Aslan, it was just a dream.” 

Ash squeezed his eyes shut, letting the shagged breaths wrack his body.

_Ash, I cannot believe what a whore you are._

Straight out of Eiji’s mouth. In his mind, at least. But that was good enough for Ash. 

The blond opened his eyes, glancing over at the man who was there to provide comfort. Max smiled softly at him, a hand held out in front of him, uncertainty radiating off him.

Slowly, Ash reached his own hand out and let the bigger one engulf his own. Max gave him a gentle squeeze.

“Sorry. I’m sure you were sleeping. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Ash kept his eyes trained on his lap as he felt a thumb begin to slowly stroke over the top of his knuckles.

“You don’t have to apologize, Aslan. I wasn’t really sleeping anyway.”

_He’s giving up everything for you, you stupid slut._

“You don’t have to do that, Max,” Ash stated bluntly. The thumb’s movements paused for a fraction of a moment before it continued. “You don’t have to stay here with me. I’ll be fine on my own.”

The older man sighed. “Well, about that Aslan,” and Ash wondered why he kept referring to him with _that_ name, “about that, how would you feel about being taken in by a family?”

Ash snapped his head up to make hard eye contact with his teacher. “Dump me wherever you want, just warn me whether the guy’s a pedophile or not. Don’t go putting me somewhere trying to convince me they won’t wanna fuck me.”

Max flinched at the words, his grip on Ash’s hand getting a little tighter. 

_Shit, now he’s mad at me._

“Aslan--”

“Why are you calling me that?! I’m not that kid anymore!” Ash couldn’t help the emotional outburst, all the feelings, both good and bad, associated with that name rushing to the surface and bubbling over.

“Would you prefer I call you Ash like all those monsters did?”

The answer was brutally honest, which made it hurt, but Ash actually preferred it over any bullshit Max would have tried to come up. He shook his head, golden locks falling into his face.

“Okay, so I can call you Aslan then?” Receiving a nod from Ash, the man continued. “Okay Aslan, thank you. We wouldn’t be putting you with a random family. We--me and my wife, Jessica--wanna take you in.”

He had to be joking. This all had to be some sick, twisted joke that everyone was in on. Dino must have known Ash contacted Max for help, and he must have told Max to bring people to come and get him, take Dino away and pretend to lock him up, let Ash get better for a few days in the hospital so when they discharged him he would be in perfect condition, then tempt him with this idea of freedom, just to get some life and hope back into him so Dino wasn’t fucking a _corpse_ every night--

“Aslan! Aslan, kid, are you still with me?”

Ash blinked, focusing on the man’s face in front of him. He grunted, taking his hand not trapped in Max’s to rub at his eyes.

“You just completely zoned out, and then your breathing picked up a little. Trapped in your head I guess?”

Ash nodded as he rubbed the thoughts away. But no, this all had to be too good to be true.

“Why are you lying to me?” Maybe Max would provide him with another brutally honest answer. The man seemed to be one who preferred the truth over lies.

“I’m not lying, Aslan. You need somewhere to stay, and I don’t intend on leaving you to the hands of anyone who could possibly hurt you, so of course I wanna take you in.” 

_He’s lying he’s lying he’s lying he’s lying he’s lying he’s lying._

“Oh. So you want me all to yourself? I guess you can’t really fuck me in here, a nurse could come in at any moment. You’re playing the long game. Seem all nice to me in here, they’ll trust you to take care of me. We leave here, and I’m all yours.”

That must have been the incorrect thing to say, based on Max’s expression. What did Ash say wrong?

“Aslan, I--god, Aslan.” Max dragged a hand down his face, his hold on Ash’s hand getting even tighter. “Aslan, I don’t want that from you. At all. Not one bit. You’re a kid, for Christ’s sake. I--god no. _No_ , Aslan. You don’t have to worry about that with me. You realize that’s wrong, right? For adults to do that to you?”

Ash shrugged. “Maybe I asked for it. And am I just supposed to trust your word? This could be a very convincing acting performance.”

“Then why did you tell me?”

The question made Ash freeze, first because he wasn’t exactly sure what was being asked of him, but then because he knew his answer.

_Because I do trust you. I’ve given you so many opportunities to have me, and you’ve never taken any of them._

_Because you asked if I was okay, so many months ago._

“I don’t know,” he lied through his teeth. “I was desperate. You were the first person I had the chance to ask.”

He could tell Max didn’t believe the excuse for a second, but the man simply nodded. 

“If that’s true, then you really aren’t as smart and meticulous as I thought you were.”

“Hey! No insulting a hospital patient!” Ash snatched his hand from Max’s grip, the older man giving a small laugh at the pout the blond was putting on. 

“Why don’t you go back to sleep. You were only out a few hours.” 

Ash had almost forgotten about the nightmare that had awoken him. And now he had to return to sleep, where he couldn’t control his thoughts and the images that popped up, the memories that resurfaced. 

Despite his reluctance to sleep, Ash nodded and settled back against his pillow once again.

\----

Ash hadn’t looked at this phone in days. Even when he had, he was only able to quickly glance and catch a few of the words Eiji and Shorter texted him. He almost forgot completely about the mobile device until Max came walking back into the hospital room after a short visit from Charlie.

The officer had been there just to clarify and go over a few last things, get another small testimony from Ash. The police had been conducting a thorough investigation of Dino’s house, and they were able to find a lot of damning evidence, along with Ash’s phone which had been left on his bedside table. 

“Here, Charlie thinks it’s yours. It was in your room.” Max handed the phone to Ash, the small device with its minorly cracked screen weighing heavily in his hand. 

_The two of them must be so mad at me. I haven’t been able to reply in months._

Ash hit the power button, expecting to be overwhelmed by the hundreds of missed texts and calls. He opened up his group chat with Eiji and Shorter, and jumped when he saw the latest message.

**Eiji**  
**ash when can we visit you in the hospital?**

_How do they know? Who told them?_

“How did they find out?” He didn’t really mean to voice the question, and he knew Max wouldn’t know the answer, but nevertheless, it slipped out past his lips.

“Hmm? How did who find out what?” His teacher looked confused.

“Them! Eiji and Shorter! They know I’m in the hospital, they’re asking to visit! How do they know?!”

“Hey, it’s alright, calm down, Aslan. They’re your friends, right? I’m sure they’re worried about you.” Max reached forward and tried to place a placating hand on Ash’s arm, but the blond flinched away.

“Did you tell them? Did you contact them and tell them what happened?” Ash couldn’t quite place how he felt, but he knew one thing: if his friends knew, then they might be in danger.

“I didn’t tell them anything. I don’t really even know them. I’ve never heard of AJ before.”

“His name’s Eiji, it’s Japanese,” Ash snapped at the man who has done nothing but show him kindness and support. “If you didn’t tell them, then how do they know?”

“Why don’t you ask them yourself?”

Ash froze, the simple idea ringing through his head.

_Ask them? They’re going to be furious with me! I haven’t put in any effort to speak to them, and the first text they get is me being mad at them for knowing?!_

“Aslan,” Max’s voice broke him from his stupor, “just talk to them. They obviously care about you. You can ask how they know, but maybe also invite them to visit or something. You said you couldn’t really talk to them. I’m sure they’d be glad to know how their friend’s doing.”

Ash stared down at his phone, fixating on Eiji’s last text.

_They’re going to be disgusted when they see me. When they see this washed up slut sitting helplessly in bed, my fucking teacher of all people the only one here to help. God, I’m so fucking pathetic._

“Do you want me to send the text?” The offer startled Ash. Why would anyone be so kind to him? Before he realized it, Ash was extending his arm, holding his phone out for Max to take. The older man did so, grabbing the device and slowly beginning to type, in the way that older people tended to do. “I’m going to tell them they can swing by today, okay? In a few hours, after lunch. That sound good?”

Ash nodded, choosing to focus back on his hands in his lap.

_They’re gonna hate you, you whore._

\----

Ash had just gotten back from a trip down the hall when a pounding on the door broke the silence of the room. Ash felt his heart leap into his throat as he sat up straighter in his bed.

_That’s gotta be them. God, why am I so scared to see them? Oh, right, they’re gonna hate me. How could I forget._

Max looked from the door to Ash. “Want me to get it?”

Ash swallowed thickly and nodded. He watched as his teacher--no, his foster father? His new adoptive father? Ash wasn’t quite sure where they stood currently--walked to the door, glancing out the small window. A smile grew on Max’s face as he turned the knob, opening the door for Ash to see his two best friends standing before him. 

_Eiji! Shorter!_ , Ash wanted to call out, but he was dumbfounded at the sight of the two. He couldn’t really see their faces, as they were covered by masks, but he was able to catch Eiji’s deep brown eyes. They were wide with what Ash assumed was disbelief at seeing the blond in front of him. And then there was Shorter, his signature sunglasses still on, his purple hair as vibrant as ever. 

_You’re both here._

“Ashu!” Eiji’s voice made Ash jump ever so slightly. Before Ash knew it, the two were running in and flanking either side of his bed. “Ashu, we were so worried!” Eiji’s accented voice came out fast and a little slurred, his English not as crisp when he was this emotional. 

As the two came closer to Ash, he couldn’t stop the flinch that overtook his body. After spending months with contact only designed to hurt him, Ash’s body had no choice but the flinch. He noticed a sadness filling Eiji’s eyes when the older boy realized his friend was shying away from _him_ , the sweet boy who never hurt Ash no matter what.

“I am sorry, Ashu,” Eiji began to say as he took a step back away from Ash, “I forgot you are probably very scared right now.” 

“I--you don’t scare me, Eiji,” Ash managed, his voice a little hoarse from his excessive crying as of late. “You too, Shorter,” he added on as he turned to look at his oldest friend.

Shorter’s eyebrows suggested he was doing that big smile of his, the one he did when he was overly excited. “Thanks, man. That means a lot. I’ve missed you.”

Ash couldn’t stop the tears that began to well up in his eyes. Actually having his best friends here, having them right next to him, being able to see them again in person after being convinced he was going to die in Dino’s hell mansion, it was a bit emotional for him. He didn’t try and stop the tears from falling, as much as his mind told him to. He let them flow.

“I--” Ash cut himself off as a cry released itself from his body. “I--I never thought I’d--see either of you again. I thought--I really thought I wasn’t going to last long enough.”

There was a palpable silence in the air, one that held the feelings of sadness and regret that everyone in the room felt.

“Shorter and I tried to save you, yesterday.” The statement shocked Ash enough to make his crying halt. He whipped his head up to stare into Eiji’s dark eyes. He looked serious. “We went to your house. We were going to break in and get you out, but the police were there. They told us you were in the hospital.”

_They would have died if Dino and I had been home. They were willing to risk that for me?_

“You were going to. . .” Ash let the statement trail off.

“Yeah, man, we were all ready to go. I came up with a killer plan. It would have worked flawlessly, that is if you had been there.” Shorter’s joke was good-natured, but no one liked the idea of Ash actually having stayed in that house a moment longer. “We’re really glad we didn’t have to, though.” 

Ash nodded, wiping his tears away with the heels of his palms. 

“Ashu, can I hug you?” Eiji’s voice sounded so sincere, and Ash could sense the deep _longing_ that was radiating off the boy. He was so desperate to hug his friend. “You can say no. I know you have been touched when you have not wanted to be touched. You can tell me no.”

_I don’t want to say no._

“Y-yeah. Yeah you can hug me.”

Eiji slowly stepped forward, careful to project each of his movements, and soon, Ash was enveloped in a warm, comforting hug. Eiji’s arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, his hands planted firmly on his back, with no intent of wandering. Ash’s face was tucked into Eiji’s chest, and he was greeted with the familiar scent of whatever laundry detergent he must use. But it was a comforting scent, familiar. It was _Eiji_.

Ash felt Eiji turn his head so he could place his cheek on the top of Ash’s golden locks. 

“I missed you so much, Ashu. I worried about you everyday. I just wanted to know my best friend was safe.”

_Don’t you fucking cry again. You’re lucky he even wants to touch you right now, don’t go making him regret it when the front of his shirt’s all wet._

Then, as quickly as the hug began, it ended. He figured Eiji was trying not to overwhelm him with touch, but Ash found himself already missing his friend’s embrace. 

He sniffled, trying to hide the fact that he was on the verge of tears yet again.

“I missed you too,” Ash replied, finally. “I missed both of you, so fucking much. I kept trying to respond but--” He stopped himself when Shorter raised his hand.

“We know, dude. You don’t have to apologize for that.” Ash gave his friend a small smile and watched as his friend’s joyously raised eyebrows dropped down in seriousness. “Ash, can you tell us what happened?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max takes Ash home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiii again !! two longer chapters back to back within less than 24 hours !! I'm wilding today !! anyway hope you all enjoy it !! some minimal pretty vague discussions of ash's past along with some minor self-harm, so be careful my loves !! ok once again hope you all enjoy !! thanks for reading !! :)

Max was glad there were more people that Ash could trust, especially people his age. Max was familiar with the bright, chaotic energy that Shorter brought with him everywhere he went, and frankly, he was a bit surprised to see Ash, the quiet recluse, was as close with him as he was. Eiji was the complete opposite of Shorter, soft-spoken and not blinding passerby with flashy looks. 

Ash seemed to be subconsciously shifting closer to Eiji ever since the first hug. His hand wandered to the edge of the bed Eiji stood next to, palm up in an invitation for Eiji to take it, but the boy either did not notice or was too scared to touch his friend. 

After Shorter’s bold question, Ash slowly began to tell them what had happened, minus several details. Max watched and listened as Ash worried at his lip as he pondered whether to share something or not. It usually resulted in Ash giving them a watered down version of the hell he had been through.

He let them know the skeleton of it, how Dino had been hurting him non-stop everyday. He said how he couldn’t do school because of it, and that the man’s constant supervision prevented him from ever responding to their texts.

He conveniently left out the information about the videos, how Dino had starved him, what exactly Dino had been doing to him. 

Ash said he got hurt, and Max could see Shorter’s eyebrows drawn in concern, but he couldn’t make out whether the delinquent was satisfied with Ash’s answers or not. 

_Probably not_ , Max thought to himself. _Shorter doesn’t look like someone who keeps many secrets, and he probably doesn’t want his friends keeping them either. Especially secrets that could result in them being harmed._

When Ash had finished his recounting, his wavering voice a dead give away that he was fighting off tears, Max listened and watched as Eiji offered another hug, which Ash gladly accepted. For someone who should have been sick of being touched by others, Ash sure did seem to love hugs. 

_Huh, now would be a good time to make a joke about how that isn’t social distancing. But then Ash would never let anyone hug him again. He needs this._ Max worked hard to fight off the natural dad instincts to make bad jokes. 

“Ash, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that shit. That isn’t fair dude, that he did all of that to you. I’m sorry man.” Shorter’s comforting words suggested he knew Ash was holding back, and Max could tell Ash realized this too. The blond stared down at his lap, anxiously fidgeting with his hands. “I know it’s hard for you to think and talk about all this, so thanks for telling us. We can talk about something else now.”

Max didn’t miss the look of relief that painted Ash’s face.

\----

Shorter and Eiji left a good three hours after they got there. The nurse tried to kick them out earlier, but Shorter had refused to leave until he caught Ash up on every bit of drama in his life.

Max loved seeing the three of them interact. He loved hearing Ash laugh, even if it was weak and sometimes slightly forced. At least they got him smiling. 

As the time had gone on, Ash began to look more and more relaxed. His shoulders fell away from where they had been brought up near his ears; his hands fidgeted less; he seemed to shake less. He looked like a normal, teenage kid. 

Max wanted him to feel that way all the time.

Once the two boys had left, after many warm goodbyes and several hugs from both parties, Ash seemed to deflate a little. That was easily the most energy he had had to exert since he came to the hospital. 

“You must be tired,” Max said as he stood from his chair. He reached his arms over his head and stretched, turning left and right to crack his back. “You should sleep, considering you only got six hours last night.” It was true: the teenager woke from more than just that initial nightmare, and what rest he did manage to get had been fitful.

“I’ll be okay. I’m used to less sleep.” 

Max hated what that implied, but he wasn’t going to give up his fight. “Nah, you need some rest. That was probably a lot, yeah? Shorter’s quite the ball of energy.”

Ash snorted a little as he slowly began to lay back in bed. “He is. He’s a good friend. He knows how to make me feel less shitty, even if only for an hour.”

“Well, that’s what friends are for.” Max smiled and walked closer to Ash, helping him get comfortable and pulling the blanket over top him. “If you want me and Jess to take you in, I can tuck you into bed like this every night.” 

Ash’s face went red with embarrassment as he tugged the blanket out of Max’s grip. “I’m not a little kid!”

A loud laugh escaped from Max. He received a scowl in return.

“Sorry, kid. It’s just funny, is all. And I know you aren’t a little kid, but that doesn’t mean I’m not prepared to treat you like my own son. I want you to be safe, Aslan. I want you to be happy.” 

And that was the simple truth. He couldn’t imagine going through all of this trouble to get Ash out safely, only to lose him to another pediophilic monster. Max wouldn’t allow it to happen.

“You’re . . . you’re serious about taking me in?” 

Max stared into the boy’s green eyes, the same green Griffin had told him about at least four times a day. 

_Almost like a gem, they’re so fucking deep._

“Yeah, Aslan. Yeah, I’m dead serious. I want to take you in. I want to help you. So does my wife. I promise, Aslan, I promise we want you. We want to help you. Please, let us help you. You already did the hardest part, which was reaching out to me in the first place. Now, just let me get you that next step further.” 

Max watched a million thoughts run through Ash’s head before he inhaled deeply. 

“Okay. Okay Max I--I want you to help me.”

_Time to call some lawyers._

\----

Max had been worried that the process was going to take a lot longer than it did. But, Ash’s intense case combined with a steady pressure to get Ash out of the hospital allowed for it all to happen so quickly. 

Max was grateful. 

A day after Eiji and Shorter’s visit, and he was driving home with Ash in the passenger seat next to him. The boy’s nerves came off him like waves. He was clearly on edge, and Max didn’t want to push him over, so he played soft music and avoided any conversation.

Ash only had a backpack of possessions to bring home, including and limited to his phone, two pairs of jeans, three t-shirts, a sweatshirt, a pair of beat-up converse sneakers, and a flannel with several holes in it. Max was determined to fix that, but right now the goal was to get him into the house and not have him freak out too much.

They finally pulled into Max’s driveway, and the man grunted when he noticed his wife’s car was missing. 

“I guess Jess and Michael aren’t here. I’ll just have to give you the tour of the place myself.” Max turned and smiled at Ash, whose nervous demeanour seemed to have calmed down at the mention of a lack of others. He nodded, reached behind him for his bag, and climbed out of the car.

Max led him to the front door which he unlocked and then held open for Ash, who tentatively stepped inside. Closing the door behind him, Max turned around to see the teenager had discarded his bag on the floor, an interesting look on his face, one that didn’t reach his eyes.

Ash was lightly biting his lip, his eyebrows drawn together in a pleading expression, and his eyes just looked sad.

_What is going on?_

“Hey, Aslan? Everything okay?” As soon as he asked the question, the blond dropped to his knees, his hands going straight for the buckle on Max’s belt. He took a step back just as Ash loosened the belt. “Aslan. Stop.” He kept his voice firm but not too loud. 

The boy’s jade green eyes were hooded, but he still made eye contact with Max. That sadness remained in them.

“But Max, I have to repay you somehow, for everything you’ve done for me.” The voice didn’t sound like Ash’s. It was too breathy and high-pitched. It was the voice Ash had used that time Max talked to him after class. “You’ve been oh so helpful, getting me out of Papa’s house. I’m sure you want a thank you from your new little slut. Don’t be shy, I’ve been told my tongue is as soft as velvet.”

Max moved until his back hit the door. He was just out of Ash’s reach now, but the boy moved forward on his knees, his hands going straight for the waistband of Max’s pants.

“Aslan, stop. I mean it. I don’t want that from you. Please, Aslan, stop. You don’t have to do that anymore.” The words didn’t stop Ash, his slender hands undoing the button on Max’s jeans. Max could see the tension in how he held himself, he could see how much it upset Ash to be doing this. So why didn’t he stop?

Max dropped to the ground so he could be eye level with Ash. He hated touching the blond without his permission, but he needed him to stop and understand that Max would never want that from him, so he grabbed Ash’s hands and held them tightly in his own in the space between the two of them. Their eyes locked, sadness and confusion swirling in those jade pools.

“Aslan,” Max began softly, “you don’t have to do that. You never have to do that, ever again. You are never going to have to touch someone like that, okay? And no one is allowed to touch you in that way without your permission, got it? I know you’ve been hurt. I know so many people have made you believe that the only thing you’re good for is sex, but that’s not true.” Ash’s resolve finally crumbled at those words. “Oh, Aslan, oh I know, I know it hurts. But please, please listen to me when I tell you i will _never_ want that from you. And I mean _never_ , okay? You don’t have to do that stuff to me. And I will never do that stuff to you. You’re like my son now, yeah? I’m going to help you. I’m going to take care of you. And I am never going to ask for that from you, okay?”

The sobs that escaped Ash weren’t all that surprising, as it was clear they had been building up since Max had joined him on the ground. He squeezed his eyes shut as he began to curl in on himself, the sadness overwhelming.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Aslan, let it out. Can I hold you? I want to help, but only if you want me touching you like that.” Max wasn’t going to do anything without clear permission from the blond.

“Ple-e-e-e-ease,” Ash sobbed out.

Max sat himself on the ground, let go of Ash’s hands, wrapped his arms around the teen’s thin frame, and pulled him into his lap. Max tucked Ash’s head under his chin, one hand cradling the back of his head as the other remained stock still on his back.

“I’ve gotcha, Aslan. I’ve gotcha. No one’s ever going to hurt you again, I promise. Oh, let it out. That’s it. I’m so proud of you right now, you know that? You realize I’m proud of how far you’ve come already?” Max hoped the words were helping, but based on the fact that Ash’s tears seemed to come harder and faster, he wasn’t sure of their effect. Max slowly began to run his hand through Ash’s hair, careful to be gentle and not let his hand move any farther than his head. “You’re doing so good, Aslan. So good. I’m so insanely proud of you.” 

It went on like that for several minutes.

\----

After Ash stopped sobbing, Max helped him up and gave him a tour of the house. He showed him the living room, the kitchen, all the bedrooms (“If you need anything during the night, do not hesitate to come and wake us, okay? We both want to help you.”), and finally the upstairs bathroom.

“I’m sure you want to shower after being in the hospital. Get that gross hospital feeling off you,” Max suggested at the end of their tour. “Also, you can borrow some of me and Jess’s clothes for now. I’m also assuming you probably want your clothes washed, and besides, you don’t have any comfy pants with you.”

Ash blinked at him a few times before nodding. 

“Great! I’ll be right back!” He left the boy at the bathroom entrance, quickly digging through his and Jess’s clothes, looking for anything that would fit Ash. The boy was so skinny and slim, he would have to put up with wearing a pair of Jess’s sleep pants along with an older t-shirt of hers that would still probably hang off his frame. He returned to see Ash still standing outside the room, staring at the ground.

“Here ya go.” Max held the clothes out to him. “And let me show you how to work the shower.” He pushed inside, flicking the lights on, and walked over, pushing the curtain back. “Just pull it out to turn it on, and turn this way for hot water. That’s the shampoo, that’s conditioner, and there’s body wa--” 

When Max looked back over at Ash, the boy was already beginning to take his clothes off. His shirt was thrown to the ground, and he looked as if he was gathering the nerves to take his pants off.

“Okay, I can see you’re eager to hop in! I’ll just step out. You can lock the door behind me.”

“Wait--what?” The blond snapped his head up to meet Max’s gaze as the older man tried to slip out of the room. “You don’t wanna shower with me? Make sure I’m clean? Have your way with me?”

_Holy shit, did the conversation we had earlier mean nothing to him? Come on, Max, he’s a sexual abuse survivor, he isn’t going to be able to understand these things within a matter of minutes. Have some patience._

“Nope. I do not want to watch you shower. I do not want to shower with you. I do not want to control that aspect of your life. I do not want to use you. I do not want that or expect that from you, Aslan.” The statement seemed to make Ash look more tense and nervous, rather than less. This was a whole new territory for him; he didn’t know how to live without worrying about when the next man was going to hurt or use him. He didn’t know what it was like to exist without having Dino follow him and instruct him on how he was to behave and act at all times. The thought made Max sick to the stomach. “However, if you need help, like if you get scared for whatever reason or can’t do something, you can call me and I’ll help you, okay? That’s different from what Dino or anyone else did to you, though. Please, Aslan, tell me you understand that. Please tell me you understand that if you need help I will help you and it will not be like Dino.”

Max held his breath as he waited for Ash’s response, which was a slow, albeit uncertain, nod. Max gave him a soft smile.

“Okay, Aslan. I’ll be down the hall if you need anything, just yell if you do, okay?” Ash nodded, and Max took it as his official time to leave, shutting the door behind him. 

He stood outside the door a few moments longer until he heard the water turn on. Sighing, Max went to his room, collapsing into bed. He couldn’t fall asleep, so he would have to distract himself. Picking up his phone, he began to scroll aimlessly, reading random articles and watching pointless videos. 

Fifteen minutes had gone by and the water was still on. Max wasn’t upset if Ash took long showers, he was guilty of doing so himself, he was simply worried because, well, everything the teenager did worried him. Ash was recovering from so much trauma (and Max knew plenty about what that was like), and he was so clearly terrified, so Max knew there was going to be a lot of uncertainty and hesitancy in everything the boy did along with plenty of opportunities for panic attacks and flashbacks. 

_It wouldn’t hurt to go and check on him_ , Max reasoned. He groaned as he climbed off his bed, and he took the few steps down the hall to the bathroom. He pressed his ear to the door, and his eyes widened. 

There was the unmistakable sound of crying, along with extremely ragged breathing. Max thought he could make out the words, “Get off me,” but he wasn’t one hundred percent certain. 

Taking a deep breath, Max knocked on the door. “Aslan? Just checking in, you okay, kid?”

No response. But the breathing seemed to get worse.

“Aslan? Everything alright? You’ve been in there for a little bit. I’m not looking to do anything to you, I’m just checking to make sure you are okay.” 

Max heard a whimper, followed by the sound of a bottle hitting the floor.

“What was that? Aslan, it’s okay. I want to help if you need it. Are you okay?”

“What do you think, Max?” The response was sharp and bitter.

Max sighed. “Need me to come in? Need my help with something? I won’t touch you like that, I promise. I promise, Aslan.”

Then came the sound of a body hitting the floor, rather than a bottle. 

Max couldn’t wait. He flung the door open, and it only passed his mind for a second that Ash had never locked it.

“Aslan, I’m in the bathroom now. I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you to say I could come in, but I heard you fall.” The sound of crying was a lot clearer now. “I’m grabbing you a towel, and then I’m gonna help you out.” Max did as he said, snatching the towel he had given Ash from the hook on the wall. He took a deep breath before he said his next words. “Okay. I’m gonna pull the curtain back.”

A whimper and more tears in response.

Max slowly pulled the curtain to the side, revealing the blond laying curled in a ball on his side, his eyes squeezed shut as water and tears alike cascaded down his cheeks. Max quickly scanned his body for any injuries, cringing at the hundreds of dark bruises that littered his body along with several fresher looking red marks. 

_Get him out, then deal with that._

Max reached forward, twisting the water off. Ash flinched when the steady flow stopped, and he immediately began to shiver. 

“Aslan, can I help you up? I will only touch under your arms. I will only pick you up underneath your arms, I promise. And then you can wrap yourself in this towel. It’s gonna be okay.” 

Ash slowly began to turn his head, eyes squinting open as he glanced up and met Max’s deeply concerned eyes. 

“It’s okay, Aslan. Let me help you.” Thankfully, the blond began to uncurl himself, shifting so Max could have access to his armpits to lift him up. Max bent down, telegraphing his moves so Ash could watch his hands secure themselves under his arms. Max grunted a little as he lifted Ash to his feet, receiving not a single ounce of help from the boy. It was fine, though, considering how concerningly light he was.

Max got him to his feet in the tub and handed the towel over to him. Ash looked slightly confused before realization dawned on his face and he secured the towel around his waist. Max held a hand out, which Ash took and leaned heavily against as he stepped over the edge of the tub.

“There we go. Now, how about you sit down. Yup, right there. Okay, did you hit your head? Was it a bad fall?”

Ash was clearly reluctant to answer, but he did so anyway. “No, I’m fine. Landed on my ass. I’m fine.”

“Then what are all these red marks? They look new.”

Ash glanced down at his exposed skin, most of which was an angry bright red, and Max thought it looked like they were scratches from fingernails, as if Ash had been clawing at himself.

“Water was hot?” The blond didn’t even attempt to make the lie sound convincing.

“Not buying it. You did it yourself, huh? That’s all from you. Why, Aslan? What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

The boy squirmed where he was sitting, obviously not wanting to admit to the fact he had been hurting himself. “I’m dirty. I was trying to clean myself. Get their touches off me.”

_Oh my god._

“Aslan, oh Aslan. You aren’t dirty. You are not dirty, Aslan. But, um, it still feels like they’re touching you?” Max’s heart ached when the thin boy nodded. “Okay. Okay, let’s--how about I help you patch these up, and then you can put on some clothes and we can get you settled into your room. How’s that sound?”

Ash’s eyes were wide when they looked up to meet Max’s. He thought the teen might cry again, but instead, he nodded. 

“That--sure. Okay.”

Max opened the cabinet underneath the sink and pulled out some bandages and ointment. 

“Would you rather do this yourself? Or do you want my help? Either answer is perfectly fine.”

Ash worried at his lip as his gaze darted between Max and the first aid in his hands.

“Um . . . you can help. Cause it’s just m’ arms and chest.”

Max nodded, kneeling down so he was at the same level as Ash. He reminded Ash to tell him to stop if he felt uncomfortable at any point. Then, he undid the cap on the ointment and began to lightly dab it on the scratches. Ash’s breath picked up as he did so, and his eyes tracked all of Max’s movements. After that, Max opened the bandaid box and took some out, gently sticking them over the worst of the scrapes. 

“There we go,” he said in the softest voice he could manage. “Feeling better yet?” He peered up to meet Ash’s gaze, and his heart broke when he registered the look of utter disbelief on the teen’s face. 

“You . . . thanks. Thank you.” 

Max smiled. “You’re welcome, Aslan. Now, how about you dry off and get changed, hm?”

He slowly stood, putting the materials back and leaving Ash alone in the bathroom. He sighed and slumped against the wall when the door shut behind him.

_He has a long way to go before things get easier, but fuck if I won’t be there every step of the way._

A minute later and the door was opening again, a fully-clothed, drowning-in-fabric Ash standing in the door frame. 

“Jess’s clothes suit you! Looking great, Aslan!”

“These are your wife’s clothes?” He stared down at the fading red t-shirt and soft black sleep pants.

“Yeah. Do they fit alright? We’ll buy you your own clothes soon, I promise, but just for now, you can wear her stuff.”

Ash shrugged, the motion looking like it took a lot of effort, either from his level of exhaustion or from the weight of the oversized shirt. “They’ll do.”

Max beamed at him. “Great! Now, let’s go get your room set up. This bedroom has the softest blankets in the house, just wait until you feel them.”

_I’m going to be there every step of the way, don’t you worry, Aslan. Don’t you worry._


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter and Nadia talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey luvs so three days in a row of updates??? whaaat !! hehe hope you all enjoy !! thanks to all my readers and those who comment it truly means the world to me !! enjoy !! :)

“He looks different.” Shorter glances up from where his gaze had been fixed on the ground. 

“What do you mean, Eiji?” The two boys were walking to Shorter’s bike in the hospital parking lot, having just signed out from their visit with Ash. 

“I mean what I said. Ashu looks different. Uh, more skinny, more tired, more,” he paused for a moment before saying in a hushed tone, “more haunted.”

Shorter stopped in his tracks. Yeah, Ash didn’t look too great. Shorter had wanted to make a joke about how he had seen better days, but he knew the joke wouldn’t be received well in the given context.

_He was a lot skinnier than the last time we saw him. And he did look exhausted. And, fuck, Eiji’s right, he looked absolutely shaken up. Scared, but not of us. God, Ash, what did he do to you?_

“Shorter?” 

The boy looked to where his name had been called, seeing that Eiji had continued walking even after he stopped.

“Oh shit, sorry. I just--what you said. It just kinda hit me. He did look really scared.” Shorter ran and caught up with Eiji so they could continue walking side by side.

“He will get better. He will get healthier. And what happened to him will not happen again. We will help him.” Eiji said the words with confidence, like he knew they were one hundred percent true.

Shorter could only hope that was the case.

\----

After dropping Eiji back at his apartment, Shorter sped back to Chang Dai, his home. He felt more at ease, having been able to actually see Ash in person after all those months of knowing his best friend was trapped in a house, suffering at the hands of a man who dared to call himself Ash’s guardian. 

He pulled into the back alley, parking his bike before clambering through the back door of the kitchen. He walked past the few chefs that were working, waving to each of them before he exited the kitchen into the main portion of the restaurant. There stood his sister, her back to him as she fiddled with the computer.

Being careful not to make a sound, Shorter tiptoed up behind her, and was just about to tap her shoulder and scream her name when she turned her head.

“Hey Shorter,” she said casually. “How was Ash?”

Shorter groaned and hip-checked her. “I was trying to scare you.”

“I know. And I heard you. You’re not as quiet as you think.” She turned back to the computer, working on situating the orders they had received.

“Ash is fine. He’s alive, so that’s a big plus,” Shorter said, hopping onto the counter next to the computer.

“Get your fat ass off there, we’re supposed to be a sanitary restaurant.” She swatted his shoulder with the back of her hand. 

“I’ll wipe it down once I hop off.”

Nadia rolled her eyes and went back to punching things in. “So he’s okay? I know how worried you were. I mean, I was worried too. But he’s your best friend.”

Shorter swung his legs back and forth, letting them hit against the underneath cabinet. “He--he flinched a lot. Like _a lot_. He let us hug him, though. But he kinda looks like a ghost. He’s really fucking skinny, and he looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks. And he, god Nadia, he just looks like he’s been through hell. Eiji said his eyes look haunted. _Haunted_ , Nads. He--god, what did that bastard _do_ to him?”

Silence filled the empty restaurant as Nadia took in Shorter’s words. He continued to swing his legs and began to play with the hem of his shirt, awaiting his sister’s response. 

“He didn’t tell you what exactly happened?”

Shorter shook his head. “He just said Dino hurt him, didn’t really tell us much else. He explained how the guy followed him around everywhere, and it was a miracle chance when he was able to ask Mr. Lobo for help.”

“Wait, he contacted a teacher?”

“Yeah. Submitted an assignment that just said like, help me, a bunch of times. But even though he didn’t say, I think I know what Dino was doing to him.”

Nadia nodded, tapping the computer once more before turning and leaning her hip against the counter. “Sexual abuse, yeah? Based on what I remember you telling me before.”

Shorter sighed. “Yeah. Fuckin’--yeah. God. God, Nads, I--I just wanna help him. I mean, I know he’s out. And he obviously trusts Lobo enough to have him be the one he asked for help from. But there’s still more I feel like I should do.”

“You’ve done all you can at this point, Short,” she said as she pushed off the counter, walking over and grabbing a sanitary spray and rag. “He’s out, he’s safe. You can text and call him and hopefully he’ll respond now. I’m assuming he’s going to be staying somewhere safe? Does he need to come live with us?”

“Nah. He kinda offhandedly mentioned that Lobo said something about taking him in. I’ll text and ask though if he needs somewhere else.” Shorter hopped off the counter, snatching the rag from Nadia as she sprayed where he was previously seated.

“You’re a good friend, Shorter.”

\----

Shorter flopped into bed, his hair still damp after a shower. He groaned as he stretched on the bed, pushing his hands above his head and arching his back. Once he relaxed, he reached for his phone. He had been busy with Nadia helping down in Chang Dai, and he had yet to send Ash the text asking what he was doing once he left the hospital.

**Shorter**   
**hey ash buddy boy**   
**do you have a place to go after the hospital? i know you mentioned lobo, but if you wanna stay somewhere else (like somewhere you feel more comfortable) then you could come stay with me and nads**

Shorter didn’t expect an answer soon, if at all. He knew Ash could respond now, but he didn’t think his friend would have the mental energy to be on his phone after everything. Surprisingly, his phone buzzed after a minute.

**Ash💛**   
**im gonna go with max. he actually was friends with griff in iraq. i think i feel safe with him. thanks tho. tell nadia i love her more than you do.**

Shorter smiled at his phone screen.

**Shorter**   
**well hey that’s great that you feel safe with him!**   
**happy for you dude**   
**and don’t even joke about that i love my sister so much**

**Ash💛**   
**thanks shorter**

**Shorter**   
**no problem dude**   
**love ya ash**

He never expected an “I love you” back. It wasn’t really in the blond’s vocabulary. Shorter could gather that the statement held too much weight for him. Too much trauma.

When his phone remained silent, he set it aside, about to climb under the covers when there was a soft knock on his door. He looked up to see Nadia peeking in.

“Hey. Going to sleep already?”

“Yeah. Kinda a long day. This bitch down in the restaurant worked me like a dog.” Shorter smirked when his sister flipped him off.

“Asshole. Maybe she wouldn’t have to be so harsh if you actually did your job.”

“But I hate my job.”

“I’ll fire you. I won’t hesitate to fire you.”

The Wong siblings stared at each other for a beat before laughing softly.

“Okay, night, Shorter. Sleep well.”

“Good niiiiight, Nadia! Don’t let the bed bugs bite!” 

She flipped him off as she shut his door.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji and Ash chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello !! another day another chapter im on a roll hehe !! just having fun, living the dream !! ok hope you all enjoy thank you so much for reading love you all mwah mwah mwah !! :)

The first thing Eiji did when he woke up was check his phone. He did this every day, but today felt different. Today, there was an actual, non-zero chance that Ash might have texted him. 

He tried to hide his disappointment from himself when there was no message from his best friend, only a snapchat from Shorter from 3:16 in the morning. He opened it to see a barely illuminated picture of Shorter’s face, the caption reading, “i just had adream and init u asid you lsiked my cookign” 

Eiji laughed, letting the time run out on the picture. He snapped a shot of his comforter, responding, “that was definitely a dream shorter i do not love your cooking you burn the food.” He giggled to himself as he sent it. 

_Even if Ash did not text me, he might still like receiving a good morning text!_

**Eiji**  
**good morning ashu !! how are you today ?? how is the hospital ??**

He hit the send button and smiled to himself, hoping the blond would respond sometime soon. Until then, he would just have to go about his day hoping his friend would text him later.

\----

An hour later, and there was a response snapchat from Shorter, a picture of a stove with an egg in a frying pan reading, “man fuck you eiji i make the best food look at this shit! it’s gonna taste delicious!”

A minute later, another picture came in. This time it was Shorter’s face, but his cheeks looked green. “maybe you’re right eiji maybe i am a bad cook”

Eiji laughed and took a screenshot of the picture.

\----

It wasn’t until later that night when Ash finally responded. 

**Ash💛**  
**i left this afternoon im in max’s house now**

Eiji smiled. 

_Ash is out of the hospital! And he’s living with someone he trusts!_

**Eiji**  
**that is great ashu !! i am very happy you can trust Mr. Lobo !!**

**Ash💛**  
**for now i can yeah**

Eiji . . . did not like that response. He didn’t like the fact that Ash assumed there would come a point where Mr. Lobo would want something from him. He didn’t like that Ash always expected the worst from people. 

He didn’t blame Ash for thinking that way, he knew he had to to survive as long as he did. 

But he was sad that that’s what it took for him to get through life.

**Eiji**  
**i think you can trust him !! but if you get scared you can come live with me and ibe-san !!**

He meant the offer, really he did. He knew Ibe would be willing to take Ash in if his friend needed the help. He just hoped it didn’t come to that. He hoped Max was actually trustworthy.

**Eiji**  
**how has your day been ?? also what is the house like ?? is your room big ??**

Eiji wanted every little detail, partly because he was genuinely curious and enjoyed hearing what his friend had to say, but mostly because he wanted to make sure Ash was doing okay.

**Ash💛**  
**fine I guess**  
**kinda have had some freak outs already, max has had to help me**  
**im in my room now its just a bed and an empty dresser**  
**cause i dont have any clothes**

Eiji frowned. He didn’t like hearing that Ash was panicking a lot. He wanted his friend to be able to enjoy life away from his evil guardian. He wished Ash could be happy and live the closest thing to a normal life he could get.

He knew all of that wouldn’t happen magically. He knew it was going to take a lot of hard work from Ash, a lot of patience from him and Shorter and Mr. Lobo. Still, he wanted Ash to feel good fast.

**Eiji**  
**can we facetime so i can see you ??**

He thought he already knew the answer. His best friend was probably exhausted from the day he had, and the last thing he would want to do is exert his social battery via a facetime call.

But then Eiji’s phone started ringing, and Ash’s profile was popping up.

Eiji squealed and fixed his hair a little, waiting one second longer before hitting the answer button.

“Ashu,” he happily greeted his friend. He never thought he could get tired of looking at those green eyes, that golden blond hair, his sharp facial features that Eiji learned were actually quite soft to the touch.

“Hi, Eiji.” His voice sounded raw again. 

_Probable from crying_ , Eiji’s brain supplied. _Poor Ash._

“Ashu I missed you!”

That managed to get Ash to crack a smile. “You saw me yesterday.”

“Yeah, but,” Eiji groaned, leaning closer to the phone screen, “it was only for a few hours! I want to be with you all the time!”

It was hard to miss the flinch Ash did, caused most likely by an association of Eiji never wanting to leave his side with how Dino treated him. 

“Oh I--Ashu I did not mean it like that. Sorry.” 

“I know, Eiji. I know you didn’t.” Ash looked sorrowful, almost as if he could cry if Eiji made one more comment that hit just a bit too close to home. “I just--I can’t really control it.”

Eiji nodded, showing Ash that he understood what he meant. “I know, Ash. I am sorry.”

Ash smirked. “I almost forgot how much you love to apologize.”

Eiji squeezed his eyes shut and stuck his tongue out at Ash, earning a huff of laughter from the blond. “I do not say sorry that much!”

“Uh, actually you do,” Ash tossed back. Eiji laughed, but immediately stopped his laughter when he saw Ash stiffen. 

His friend whirled his head to the side, a look of fear taking over, and he watched Ash attempt to form words for a few seconds before he managed to choke out, “Come in.”

Eiji heard the door open, followed by a voice, Mr. Lobo’s, offscreen saying, “Hey Aslan! Just heard ya talking, wanted to see what was up.”

“I can stop, if you want. I can hang up, if it makes you upset. If you want to use me now.”

Eiji’s heart broke hearing his friend’s rushed words. They were rooted in deep-set panic, coming out from natural instinct. They were what Ash had been conditioned to say ever since he moved in with Dino.

Mr. Lobo sighed. “Aslan, that is not at all why I’m here. I heard your voice and wanted to make sure you’re okay. And now I see you’re just talking to a friend. It’s okay. You’re allowed to talk with friends. You can do whatever you want. And I am never going to want you like that, okay? I will never ask you to do that.”

Eiji watched Ash’s face fall, his expression of terror turning to one of confusion and sadness. 

“Oh,” he breathed out. “I--I keep forgetting. F-fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Hey hey hey, Aslan, there’s no need to apologize.” Mr. Lobo came on screen now, sitting next to Ash and slowly placing a hand on his friend’s head, running his fingers through his hair. “We’re working through this, yeah? There are gonna be slip ups all the time, nothing to apologize for. It’s my job to let you know that I won’t do that to you, okay?”

Eiji’s broken heart felt warmed by that statement. He fully believe Mr. Lobo when he said that. He felt Mr. Lobo would take care of Ash, be a good father-figure for him. He just hoped it all wasn’t some act.

Ash sniffled. “Okay, Max. I--sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, kiddo.” Mr. Lobo leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to Ash’s hairline. “You’re doing good.” He then turned his head, acting like this was his first time noticing the camera. “Hey! Is that Eiji?”

“Hello, Mr. Lobo,” Eiji responded, a smile on his face.

“Hey, you can call me Max, alright? I know I’m a teacher, but in these contexts, you can just call me Max.”

“Oh. Okay, Mr. Max!”

Mr. Max smiled when Eiji said that. “Alright! Well, I’ll let you two have your privacy.” And with that, he left. 

Ash turned back to Eiji, a sheepish look on his face. “Sorry about that. Sorry you had to see me freak out for a moment. And also him. He’s just kinda like that.”

“Ashu, do not apologize! Like Mr. Max said, you did nothing wrong.”

Ash shrugged, and it really hit Eiji right then that it was going to take a long, _long_ time before they were able to convince Ash that he really, truly did nothing wrong.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash in the Glenreed residence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii here ya goooo !! warning for flashbacks to ash's past !! thanks for reading !! :)

Ash had missed talking with Eiji. He missed his friend’s bright smiles, his contagious giggles, his warm compliments. Eiji could make Ash feel like he was normal, like he didn’t have a mountain-high pile of trauma lying underneath his surface. He made Ash feel lighter, freer, like he could fly if he really tried to.

They talked for about an hour, Ash running low on energy and asking Eiji to take over the conversation. He remained tucked in ~~his~~ bed where he had deposited himself immediately after his shower. Max had brought him up some plain rice to eat, something that was easy on the stomach. Ash was nowhere near ready to eat big, hearty foods yet. 

After Eiji had signed off, blowing a kiss at the screen and giggling when Ash failed to hide the faint flush that came to his cheeks, Ash set his phone aside and sighed.

_What now? Do I just sit here? Am I allowed to leave my--not, not yours,_ the _\-- room? Where’s Max? Does he want me to spend time with him? Are there things he expects of me now that I’m living here?_

Ash wasn’t sure what to make of his whole situation. It was interesting, living in the same house as his teacher, but over the few days together at the hospital, Ash felt comfortable addressing Max by his first name and considering him something other than just his teacher. He certainly wasn’t ready to call him his father yet, not even sure how he felt about foster parent. He felt guilty lumping him under the same title as Dino, calling him his “guardian.” So, for now, Ash would simply call him Max.

As these thoughts raced through his head, there was another soft knock at the door, and Ash could not stop the harsh flinch that overtook his body. 

_You’re not supposed to be alone. Papa’s angry that you’ve spent so much time away from him. How dare you try and escape him, even if for a moment. How dare you try and hide yourself. How dare you put on these concealing clothes and sit underneath this blanket and close the door to your room how dare you leave Papa’s side how dare you--_

“Aslan?” 

Oh. Just Max. It was just Max, and Ash learned from before that Max didn’t like when he offered himself up. He didn’t like Ash putting into words what they were both thinking, that Max secretly wanted to take Ash right then and there.

_No. Stop it. Max said he doesn’t want that. He said he isn’t gonna hurt me._

_Adults lie, Ash. Adults tell you they’re going to take care of you and love you and praise you for your job well done,_ Such a good little boy, lying there so quietly, letting me do what I want, _but all they do is hurt. They hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and hur--_

“Aslan? Are you asleep? Or do you just not want visitors?”

_Fuck, I keep messing up. He’s taking care of me, letting me stay in his house, giving me clothes and food, you can’t fucking ignore him!_

“S-sorry, come in,” Ash croake out, his voice cracking on his vowels. 

The door cracked open, and Max stepped into the room, giving Ash another one of his soft smiles.

“Hey, Aslan. Everything okay? Do you not want me in here? Cause you can say no, when I ask you things like if I can come in or not. You can say no to that.”

Max kept telling Ash these things, kept telling him he could reject anything Max offered. It didn’t make full sense to Ash, but he was trying his hardest. He had no real opposition for Max coming to visit him right now, so why tell the man no?

“No, you can stay. It’s okay.” 

Max’s smile widened as he took a step further in. “Okay. So, my wife and son just got home. They both wanna meet you, if that’s okay. Michael had a baseball tournament all day, so that’s where they were.”

At the mere mention of the sport, Ash felt all the air rush out of his lungs. He suddenly felt cold, like how cold those walks back home had been after his coach had used him, and he noticed how his hands began to tremble in his lap.

Max noticed too. “Hey, hey Aslan. I know what you’re thinking. I remember what you told me, and it isn’t like that. I promise it isn’t like that. Michael is safe, he has fun. Jess and I go to every game and practice with him, we’re there to watch the entire time. Nothing has ever happened to him.”

“You don’t know that!” The words tore themselves out of Ash’s throat before he gave them permission to do so. “You don’t know! Kids are great at keeping secrets, especially when they think that no one will help them.”

Ash watched Max take a step closer toward his bed, and once again, he could not stop from flinching. 

“Aslan, when I say that me and Jess are there for everything, we mean it. They have the parents stay and watch practices, and we both go to the games when we can. There is no possible way anyone could have laid a hand on Michael, I promise. He’s okay, Aslan.”

Ash shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push away the images and sounds and feelings that were resurfacing.

_A warm hand on his back, guiding him down the sidewalk to the house, little Aslan skipping along and rambling about the book he borrowed from the library._

_“Oh, that’s great, Aslan. You’re quite the little braniac, aren’t you? What a good smart boy you are!”_

_Aslan beamed at the praise as they reached the house. Walking inside, Aslan went to the kitchen where they usually sat and ate chips and crackers as they played board games._

_“Not there today, Aslan. I have a game we can play upstairs, want to try it?”_

_“Oooohhhh, what kind of game?” Aslan ran back over to his coach’s side, eager to spend time with an adult who actually showed him interest and compassion._

_“It’s a very fun game. You’ll see.” His coach led him upstairs, into the bedroom. The door closed behind them. Aslan noticed there was only a bed in the room._

_“Where’s the game?” He turned to look at his coach, who suddenly didn’t look so friendly anymore. In fact, he looked kind of scary._

_“Get on the bed and I’ll show you, Aslan. Now, there’s no need to look so afraid. This is going to be fun! You’re a good boy, aren’t you? A good boy who likes to listen to his coach. We play games together, that’s all this is, Aslan. Just me and you, no one else needs to know. Our little secret.”_

_“I don’t know if I want to play this game.” Big hands on his tiny shoulders, pinning him down against the mattress. “Mister, I don’t like this game.” Long fingers quickly undoing the buttons on his jersey and pants. “I don’t want to play!” Skin on skin contact, heavy breathing as Aslan tried to squirm away, the hands back on his shoulders as there was a thrust--_

_A scream coming out of him._

_“Oh, Aslan. No need to scream. You’re okay. This is fun, right Aslan? This is fun. It’s just a game. Stop screaming, Aslan. Aslan, stop kicking. Aslan . . . Aslan . . . Aslan . . .”_

“Aslan!”

“Stop it I don’t like this!” Ash brought his hands up in front of his face, his breathing coming in quick, ragged gasps, but it didn’t feel like there was any air entering his lungs.

“Aslan--fuck, it’s okay. You’re here, with me, Max. You’re with Max Lobo right now, it’s okay. You’re safe. Aslan it’s--”

“D-don’t touch me!” Ash knew Max loved to provide the physical affection he so craved, but he couldn’t handle it right now. He knew if he was touched, he would just think it was that _monster._

“I wasn’t going to touch you, not without your permission. It’s okay, Aslan. It’s o--”

“Don’t call me that!” Ash usually liked when Max called him by his real name. It reminded him of Griff, of his big brother who would write him notes in his lunchbox, read stories with him before bed, hug him when he was scared after a loud clap of thunder. But right now, after hearing his coach say his name too loudly in his head, he couldn’t take it. “J-just--s-stop. For now. Please.”

Ash still couldn’t see Max, his shaking arms in front of his face, but he figured he was nodding as he said, “Of course, Ash. Of course.”

There was a tense silence, as Ash tried to slow his ragged breathing while shielding himself from a man who would never hurt him. 

_You don’t know that he won’t hurt you. You never thought your coach would. You thought those were fun after practice games. You had no idea._

“Stop.” Ash planted his hands in his hair, grabbing fistfuls of the golden locks and harshly tugging. “He’s not gonna hurt you, you stupid fucking slut. It’s Max, not your coach, not Papa, not Marvin. It’s _Max_ , you dumb whore.”

“Ash.” Max’s previously soft tone had gone a bit hard, an edge to it that Ash wasn’t sure was from anger or concern. It did the trick though, causing Ash to let go of his hair and glance up at Max, finally meeting the man’s eyes after his panic set in. “Ash, please don’t hurt yourself like that. Don’t pull your hair, don’t call yourself those words. None of that is true, what you say about yourself. You’re just scared now. I said something that set you off, I apologize.”

Ash huffed. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault I was a slutty little seven-year-old who wanted to fuck my coach.”

The look of sadness that washed over Max’s face almost made Ash regret what he had just said. “Ash, you didn’t ask for what he did to you. You didn’t. I know you didn’t want that.”

Ash stared back at Max, his words hitting him.

_But if I didn’t want it, then why did he do that to me? Why did they all hurt me like that? If I didn’t want it, if I wasn’t seducing them, if I wasn’t asking for it, then why did it happen?_

He felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes. “M-Max. I--I d-didn’t want it.” As the words spilled out, so did his tears. “I didn’t want--any--of it Max.”

“I know, kid. Oh Ash, I know you didn’t.”

“I--” Ash broke off so he let out a loud sob, shoulders shaking, hands falling down into his lap. “C-can you--c-can you h-hold m-m--”

Before he even finished the statement, Ash felt strong arms secure themselves around his shoulders. It made his breath hitch for a moment before he returned to crying, his head finding a comfortable spot tucked under Max’s chin. With his face pressed against the man’s chest, he let out guttural sob after guttural sob.

“Let it out, let it out, Ash. I know it hurts.” Max’s hands shifted so one cupped the back of his head, fingers lazily scratching his scalp, as the other slowly ran up and down his back. “You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m so sorry that they did all that to you, that they made you think it was your fault. But it wasn’t, Ash, none of that happened because of you.”

“Then--then why did--” Ash had to stop his statement so he could gag, his crying becoming too intense.

“Breathe deeply, come on kid. Deep breaths, don’t hurt yourself. That’s it, that’s better Ash.” Ash did as the man told him, filling his lungs up with deep, shuddering breaths. “Oh, that’s good. Good job, Ash.” When Max told him he did good, Ash felt warm. It wasn’t like when his coach had told him he was good, it wasn’t like when Papa had said he did a good job with his latest video, it was . . . 

Different. Somehow.

“Here, can we try something? Remember you can say no. But Michael really likes to sit in my lap so I can rock him.”

Ash thought for a moment. He had sat in plenty of laps, both clothed and exposed, but none of them had ever been so Ash could feel comforted. None of it had been so he could be _rocked_ like a child, the arms of their parent a safe place where nothing would hurt them.

Ash nodded, and Max pulled the blankets off Ash, maneuvering the both of them in a gentle manner until Ash was sat in his lap, his face still tucked into Max’s chest, his legs now hanging off the side of the bed. 

“I’m just gonna rock ya, slowly back and forth.” And Max did so. The small motion made Ash feel so calm and safe it was unreal. To think such a simple motion, performed by a man he was only really beginning to trust, could make him feel like the hell that had been his life three days ago was now far away. “You’re okay. I’ve got you. Just let it all out. Cry as much as you need. I’ll stay until you want me to go.”

“Don’t go.” Ash’s voice was high-pitched and whiny, different from the tone he would put on to seduce.

“Shhh, I’m not going anywhere, Ash. I’m staying right here with you.”

Gradually, Ash’s tears began to subside as Max continued to rock him. The hands on his back and head kept up their comforting motions, causing Ash to realize he loved being touched when there was no malicious intention. 

When he was positive the tears had stopped, Ash pulled back from Max, his face slightly flushed and his nose definitely running. He sniffled and brought his hands up to rub at his face. Max’s hands never left where they were resting on Ash, their soothing motions never ceasing. 

“Feel a bit better?” Max’s voice was always so soft, so soft and full of compassion. 

“I--a little,” Ash admitted quietly. It was true, being in Max’s embrace like that, hearing the softly spoken words. It made him feel safe.

“Good, good,” Max whispered. He brought the hand from the back of Ash’s head to the front, stroking back the locks that had begun to stick to Ash’s face. He cupped Ash’s cheek, letting his thumb rub away any tear tracks that remained. “Do you want to tell me what happened? Or is that a bit too much right now?”

Ash opened his mouth to answer, but he was stopped by the voice of a child yelling, “DADDY!”

The owner of the voice came barreling into the room. Ash assumed it was Michael, based on the similar hair color to Max, though it looked wet and slightly darker. 

“Hey, buddy! How are you?” Max beamed at his son, not a hint of hatred in his eyes.

_You never got that. All you got were two fathers who hated you. One made you sell yourself as a prostitute, the other made you his personal prostitute. Neither of them ever loved you like this._

“Good! The tournament was so much fun! We got popsicles at the end! Oh, and our team won the la--” Michael stopped, seeming to only just take in the sight of Ash sitting in his father’s lap, his eyes red and puffy. “Oh. Is this the guy mommy was telling me about? Asslan?”

Ash smiled at the crude butchering of his name. “I’m Ash. Or Aslan. Whichever.”

“Is Aslan okay now?” Max asked lowly so Michael couldn’t hear. Ash nodded, and Max gave him another smile, leaning in and quickly kissing his forehead. Ash felt warm again, that same protective warmth from before. “Yep, this is Aslan. He’s gonna live with us.”

Michael’s head bobbled as he nodded. “Mommy told me you would be scared of me. Are you scared of me?”

Ash caught a look of annoyance flash across Max’s face, probably at the lack of filter from his son. 

“I’m not scared of you,” Ash said in the nicest voice he could manage. He knew he probably sounded extremely unfriendly due to his voice being scratching and raw from the intense crying session he just had.

“Aslan has gone through a lot. You just gotta be careful, buddy,” Max explained.

“Michael?! Michael I told you not to go in there!” A woman materialized in the doorway, and Ash jumped slightly from her sudden appearance. “I’m sorry guys. Michael, I said to leave daddy alone.”

“But mommy,” the boy whined, “I wanted to meet Aslan!”

The woman’s eyes met Ash’s, and she gave him a smile, soft like Max’s. “Hey there! I’m sorry about him, hope he wasn’t disturbing you.”

“No, he wasn’t,” Ash stuttered out. 

“Okay, if you say so. I’m Jess by the way, Max’s wife. Sorry we didn’t get to meet earlier, I hope Max explained why we were gone.”

“Yup, I did,” Max supplied quickly. Ash could tell he was avoiding the topic of little league after the freakout session he had earlier. 

“Great. Well, it’s great to meet you, honey.”

_Honey._

“Michael, time for bed. You had a long day.” The little boy whined as his mother ushered him out. “Good night, Aslan. Come get me if you need anything.”

Ash mutely nodded as he watched them leave. 

Max sighed as he shook his head, a fond smile on his lips. “That kid’s one ball of energy. Sorry if they scared you a bit. Michael’s a sweet kid. And Jess is great, she’s definitely just exhausted from a day of wrangling Michael around. Speaking of long days, you’ve had one, so why don’t we get you settled for bed. Wanna go brush your teeth?”

Ash shook his head. “I don’t wanna leave the bed right now.”

“Alright! I get to tuck you in!” Ash groaned, pretending like having Max help him settle down for the night was the worst thing in the world. “Oh stop. You love it.”

Ash couldn’t help the small smile as Max pulled him out of his lap, helping him lay down with his head on the pillow. Once Ash was lying comfortably, Max pulled the covers back over him and tucked them under his chin.

“Comfy?” He pushed back some of Ash’s hair, and Ash sighed at the touch.

“Mhm. Thanks, Max,” Ash said through a yawn.

“You’re tired. Go to sleep, don’t be staying up texting your friends and snapping the chat or whatever else you kids do.” Ash snorted, rolling his eyes. Max just smiled, leaning down one last time to press a kiss to Ash’s head before standing up straight again. “Night, Aslan. We’re just down the hall if you need us.”

Ash nodded, watching Max leave and shut the door behind him. He laid in the dark, staring at the ceiling as his eyes adjusted. It felt weird, being alone for the night. In the hospital, Max had been by his side while he slept. He had figured he would hate the presence of another, especially a man, after all those nights he was forced to sleep pressed against Dino in bed, hands groping and holding him in place.

It had been different when Max was there, though. And Ash missed that comfort.

He sighed, turning on his side, pulling the blanket with him.

_I’m safe. I’m alone, so I’m safe. Nothing’s gonna happen. Just go to sleep, you’ll be fine. Just shut your eyes, you stupid whore. Go to sleep._


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max helps Ash through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall !! hope you all enjoy this chapter !! warning for talk about ash's past a bit and a little bit of self-harm !! ok thanks for reading !! :)

“He’s asleep?” Max looked up from his phone at the sound of his wife’s voice as she entered the bedroom. He had settled into bed after saying good night to Ash. It had been an intense few days, and he was exhausted. 

“Should be.” Jessica nodded as she walked over to her dresser, taking her earrings out. “Michael all settled?”

“Oh, yeah. He was out like a light. Basically as soon as his head hit the pillow.” She smiled, turning around and leaning against the dresser. “He did really good in his games. He actually hit a lot of the pitches. And he got a few other kids out.”

“Ay! That’s my boy! God, I wish I could have been there.” Max loved watching his son play baseball. It was something they liked to do together, having a catch outside. Max would take him to parks to practice his hitting and throwing, and Michael seemed to light up when his father spent the time with him. 

Jessica shrugged, pulling out sleep clothes. “It’s alright. He’ll have plenty more games. You were doing something far more important.”

Max sighed and sunk down in bed. He ran a hand down his face, pulling on his bottom eyelids. “Yeah. But still, doesn’t mean I can’t be a bit upset about missing my son’s games.”

“You’re such a good father,” Jessica said with a smile before disappearing into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she reemerged, holding her toothbrush as she furiously worked at her teeth. Through a mouthful of toothpaste, she garbled, “‘e ‘ooked really ‘cared.”

Max had to sit and think for a moment about what his wife was trying to say, and when it clicked, he exhaled and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, he was scared. He had a flashback. I had told him you and Michael were at little league and it triggered him. I’m not sure how much he’s comfortable with me telling you, I want him to do it at his own pace, but he got really hurt by his little league coach when he was just a kid.”

Toothbrush still moving, Jessica nodded. She dipped back into the bathroom for a moment. Max heard her spit and the water run. The light flicked off and she padded over to the bed, sliding in beside him.

“Was he raped?”

Max tensed up at the word. He didn’t like how it was becoming a part of his vernacular, how now he was going to have to live with the reality that his new--house guest? foster son? son? he’d deal with the label later--Ash carried with him.

“Don’t tell him I’m telling you, but yeah. He was.”

Jessica nodded, looking sad and pensive. “Poor kid. And that’s what you saved him from, right? You only told me it was child abuse, but they’ve already released stories about this Golzine guy, and it’s all sexual assaults against children.”

Max sharply inhaled. “Yeah. Golzine--he’s a monster. A fucking _monster_ , Jess. When we saved him, we walked into the room to see the man _on top of him--in_ him, Jess. It’s fucking seared into my brain. I can’t imagine how he’s coping as he literally lived through it all.” 

The silence was tense, the words settling between them like a heavy blanket. 

“Well, we’ve got him now. We’ll keep him safe. We won’t let anything happen to him again. He’s gonna be alright.” Jessica sounded so sure of herself. She had always been a confident woman, that’s what caught Max’s eye, what made him so attracted to her. She was certain and powerful and made you feel like she could do anything.

“It’s gonna take a while, Jess. We can’t give up on him.” Max wanted nothing more than to provide this teenage boy with all the love and care that he needed to overcome all his trauma and hardships, but he knew it was going to take a lot of effort.

“I know, Max. I’m aware. You're forgetting I'm your wife, I've helped _you_ through PTSD. Shit like that doesn’t get resolved in a day. It’ll be months, even years, before he’s feeling okay after all that.” She shifted closer, resting her head on his shoulder. “I barely know the kid, but I know you, and I can see that look in your eyes, the one you get when you feel strongly about something. You already care for him. Even if you don’t know him, you already love him. You said he’s Griff’s younger brother?”

Max nodded. “Yeah. He’s been going by a pseudonym in school for years now, and when he told the police his real name, I knew it was him instantly. I had actually thought he looked familiar before. He looks a lot like Griff, actually.”

Jessica shifted again so she was lying on her side, facing her husband. “That must have been cool for him, to meet the friend of his dead brother.”

“Jess, he didn’t know Griff had died.”

Jessica’s eyes widened. “What?!”

Max nodded and began to ease himself so he was lying down too. “He had no idea. He was never told that Griff died. Their father hated Ash, and I think he held the information from him. Or he had run away before the news arrived.”

“Oh . . . oh my _god._ This poor kid!” Max noticed tears welling up in her eyes. 

“I know. It’s sad. It’s really, really sad and awful.” A moment of silence passed. “But he’s got us now. He’s gonna be okay and safe with us.”

A sniffle and nod came from Jessica before she turned on her back. “To think someone would wanna hurt a kid like that. It’s fucking sick, Max.”

“It is,” Max confirmed as he too laid on his back. “It really is.”

\----

It was a little before midnight when Max first heard the scream. As soon as the sound reached his ears, he threw the covers off and jumped out of bed. 

“Was happenin’?” Jessica mumbled as she jumped awake.

“Aslan,” was all Max could get out as he booked it down the hall to the blond’s room. The screaming had subsided, and in its place was harsh, ragged breathing. 

Max knocked on the door. “Aslan? Aslan, are you okay? It’s Max. It’s Max Lobo. You’re safe, kid.” 

There was no response except for the continued heavy breathing, and Max assumed he was going to be ignored until he caught a few, soft words. 

“Come in.”

Max cracked the door open and peeked his head in to see Ash on his bed, curled into the tiniest ball humanly possible. His blankets were thrown about and he was shaking violently, his breathing sounding even worse now that a wall didn’t separate them.

Max approached his bedside slowly, careful not to move suddenly. He kept his voice soft and low as he said, “Hey. Hey, Aslan. What’s going on? Was it a bad dream?”

Ash made a choked noise, scrunching his face up in what appeared to be pain. “Hurts.”

_God, what happened._

“What hurts, Aslan? What’s hurting you?” He took a step closer, and even though the boy’s eyes were closed tight, he flinched. 

“Th-they--they’re--i-in--o-on--” Ash took a deep, shuddering breath, a whimper following. “M-Max they--o-on--i-i-in--m-me--m-make them--stop.”

“Aslan, Aslan there is no one touching you. You are alone, it is just me and you right now. No one is touching you.”

“M-Max!” Ash’s high-pitched voice was filled with terror. “They’re--” His arms, which had been tightly wrapped around his legs, now shot outward. 

“Ash what--”

“Get them off!” Max watched as Ash frantically began to scratch and pull at his skin, moving all the way up his arms until he hit his shirt. He whined and grabbed the collar of his shirt, tugging on the fabric. “Get them off!”

Max wasn’t sure quite what to do. He wanted to reach out and hold the kid, grab his hands and force him to stop hurting himself. But if he was feeling phantom hands on him, a real pair would definitely increase his panic.

“Aslan, Aslan stop please. Don’t hurt yourself. They aren’t here. They’re long gone.”

Ash’s hands had moved to grasping all over the fabric covering his chest. “All--over--me.”

_Fuck it. He’s responded well to my touch in the past._

Max bent over, taking Ash’s hands in his own. The blond’s breath hitched, and his head whipped up so he met Max’s gaze. Max felt his heart break when he noticed how cloudy and frightened Ash’s eyes were. He felt Ash’s entire body vibrating where he was laying.

“Don’t hurt yourself. I’ve gotcha now. It’s okay. You’re safe.” 

Ash stared at him for several seconds before he suddenly arched his back and gasped. 

“In in in in in,” he whined as he pressed closer to Max. “I f-feel them--M-Max!”

“They aren’t there, though. What you’re feeling isn’t real, Aslan.” 

“Feels--real!” Ash gasped again, his whole body convulsing for a moment, before he went limp. And then, he let out a sob.

It hurt Max, to hear him cry like this. He didn’t judge him for how much he cried. Anyone who had been through that much trauma had every reason to cry. But Max hated seeing Ash, this teenager who had a reputation of being one of the scariest kids in the school, bawl his eyes out while holding the hands of his teacher. 

_It’s fucked up, what they did to you. That they make you feel like this, even when they’re gone. I’m so, so sorry, Aslan._

“Alright, it’s alright. They’re gone. I know it hurts, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Aslan. But I’m here, I’ve got you.” Max shifted closer, hoping the blond would let him pull him into a hug.

“N-no. D-don’t--” Ash backed away, pulling his hands out of Max’s grasp and tucking them against his chest. “N-not now.”

Max nodded. While it hurt that Ash didn’t feel comfortable enough with him right then, he was glad the boy was telling him when he didn’t want something.

“That’s alright. I’ll just sit here with you, okay?” He adjusted himself so he was leaning back against the wall, but he was sure not to move any closer to Ash. “Just let it out, and I’ll sit here with you, okay?”

Ash nodded as he sniffled, curling tighter in on himself again. He wouldn’t meet Max’s eyes as he continued to cry, his focus locked on some farther part of his room.

“Want me to just talk to you? Just to make you feel safe?” He watched Ash for any nonverbal answers, but he received no response. Max was fine just sitting there, but he wanted Ash to feel better. So, Max began to hum.

_Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling clementine._

That was the only lyric he knew, so he hummed it on repeat.

As Ash’s tears began to slow, he uncurled and glanced up at Max. “Don’t you know--anymore of the song?”

Max was surprised to hear his voice, especially since it sounded so scratchy, and he gave the kid a soft smile. “That’s the only line of the song I know.”

“Then choose a different song.”

Max couldn’t help but bark out a laugh, and he felt bad when he noticed Ash jump at the sudden harsh sound. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. That was just funny.” He smiled even bigger when he saw a flash of pride cross Ash’s face. “You okay now? Do you still feel them?

Ash looked away, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “No,” he grumbled as he turned his back to Max.

“You embarrassed?” 

Ash whipped his head back around to glare at Max, and Max wanted to laugh. He didn’t look very intimidating with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

“What’s that supposed to mean?! Do you wanna make fun of me?!”

Max shook his head. “No. God no, Aslan, I wouldn’t make fun of you for something like that. If you’re embarrassed, I want you to know it’s alright. I’m not judging you or anything. I just wanna help.”

Ash grumbled and turned his head back around. “I don’t believe you. What a sight I must have been. I can’t believe I just did all that.”

“Hey.” His stern tone succeeded in making Ash turn around yet again. “There is nothing shameful or wrong about what just happened. Your body and mind are processing a lot of trauma, Aslan. You’re gonna react and have episodes like this all the time. I did for fucking _years_ after the war. I still do every now and then. It’s alright. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re okay.”

Ash’s hard green eyes held his brown ones. They stared at each other for a few moments before Ash deflated. 

“I’m tired.” Max didn’t move as Ash slowly rotated his body back to facing him and scooted his way closer to Max. He kept his hands still as Ash pushed the top of his head against Max’s outer thigh, even though he was itching to run his fingers through the teen’s hair. “Can you stay? Until I’m asleep?”

Max’s heart _soared_ at the request. Ash was really beginning to trust him.

“Yeah, of course I can. Do you want me to stay the whole night, in case you wake up again?”

Ash made an uncertain noise at the back of his throat, before he said in a tiny whisper, “Maybe.”

Max smiled, and gave in to his desire to scratch Ash’s head. He was met with a contented sigh. “I’ll just sit here, okay? I’m good at sleeping sitting up.”

“I feel bad. You had to sleep in a chair the past few nights cause of me. And I keep waking you up. And now you’re home and still can’t just sleep in your bed.”

Max tutted, shaking his head and scratching the crown of Ash’s head. “I want to be here for you. I want to help, Aslan. I’ve got plenty of other nights to sleep in my bed. I’m here for you, now.”

Max heard Ash sigh, and looked down to see the boy closing his eyes. “I don’t deserve it,” he mumbled.

“Yes you do, Aslan.” Max ran his fingers through the soft blond hair. “Yes you do.”

\----

“Max!” 

The man groaned as he opened his eyes. He felt like shit, having barely got two hours of consecutive sleep the whole night. He sat up from where he was lying on the ground, where he had to take refuge after Ash cried and shook at the feeling of a man in bed with him. He didn’t mind, really, but his back was going to hurt like _hell._

Turning his head, his gaze landed on Ash, the boy clutching his blanket like a lifeline as he peered over the edge of the bed at Max.

“Hey, kiddo. What’s up?”

“I,” the blond let out a sigh of relief, “I didn’t know where you were. Got scared. Just woke up from a dream where all of this wasn’t real.”

“I’m right here, see? I’m not going anywhere.” 

Ash nodded before dropping his head back onto his pillow. “Sorry, about keeping you up all night.”

“It’s no problem at all, Aslan.” Max would never admit that it was definitely not his ideal way to spend a night. He truly was exhausted from similar nights in the hospital, and he knew sooner or later he would reach a point where he couldn’t wake up for Ash. 

_Well, time to get him comfortable with Jess._

“How about we go downstairs, huh? I took the day off work, we can spend the morning making breakfast. You like pancakes?”

“Wait.” Ash fully sat up, staring at Max intently. “You took off work? Why?”

Max shrugged. “Cause of you. I wanna help get you adjusted. Yesterday didn’t really count.”

Ash shook his head, clenching his fists at his sides. “No. No no no no, you can’t _do_ that. You can’t stop working cause of me!”

“Aslan, it’s only a few days! I racked up sick and vacation days this year, I’ve got loads to spare. I took off Friday and I have off today and tomorrow, and can do Wednesday too if you need.”

“No!” Max jumped back at the teen’s burst of energy. “You can’t do that! I’m not worth that!”

“Aslan. Oh, Aslan. Yes you are. I’m prepared to do anything for you.” The boy crossed his arms, pouting, actually looking deeply offended. “You’re like a kid to me now. I hope you realize that. So that means that I’m gonna do everything I can for you. So stop pouting. Let’s go make breakfast. Come on.”

All of Max’s bones seemed to crack as he stood. He stretched a little before holding a hand out to Ash, giving him a _Come along, now_ look.

Ash groaned, flicked his blanket off, and stood next to Max, ignoring his hand.

_It’s still progress,_ Max thought as they exited the room together.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter hears some rumors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy !! I apologize if this fic does not have consistency I just am a little fool !! don't think there are any warnings for this chapter so !! enjoy !! thanks for reading !! :)

**Literal Preschooler**   
**yo is it true that ash dropped out of school?**

Shorter had to reread the text a couple of times. Why was Sing asking him about Ash dropping out? 

**Shorter**   
**um no where did you hear that???**

**Literal Preschooler**   
**yut lung texted me saying it**

_That snake. What the fuck is he spreading around?_

It was Monday, meaning it was only Ash’s second day of missing classes. Considering they were all stuck at home, doing school in their rooms from computers, there was no real reason to miss. There was nowhere else to go, no real excuse to be missing unless you had caught the virus.

Shorter shook his head as he felt mild panic begin to settle in his stomach. He texted Eiji first.

**Shorter**   
**hey you never said anything about ash to anyone right?**   
**cause i think somehow rumors are already spreading**

The news channels had been filled with the story of the uncovering of Golzine’s child sex trafficking ring along with his millions of other accounts of sexual assault against minors, but Ash’s name had remained firmly out of the picture. Shorter was pretty sure he and Eiji were the only two who knew Golzine had been Ash’s guardian.

He never told anyone at school, not even their little gang. Golzine was a powerful name that everyone recognized, and Ash really didn’t want it getting around that he was living with someone of that stature. 

Especially when the man was abusing Ash, and all the questions would have fallen along the lines of “Is it fun to be rich?” “You dress like shit, why don’t you wear designer brands?” “Are you going to fancy restaurants all the time?” “I bet your dad buys you lots of cool stuff, huh?”

None of it could be farther from the truth.

So there was no way that people knew Ash was connected with Golzine. If they did, it meant Eiji or Shorter had slipped, which Shorter knew he hadn’t, and he was almost positive Eiji would never. He was worried, though, because his well-meaning friend could sometimes say things without thinking. But he knew Ash meant the world to Eiji, so he doubted he would be so careless with something as serious as Ash’s privacy. 

The only real possibility, then, was if someone had information elsewhere that they were exploiting. 

And after reading Sing’s response, Yut Lung was most certainly the person to have those sorts of connections.

Shorter’s phone buzzed with Eiji’s text.

**Eiji💕**   
**of course not !! i would never say anything about ashu to anyone !!**   
**what are the rumors ?? are they bad ?? who did you hear from ??**

**Shorter**   
**sing texted me asking if ash had dropped out**   
**said he heard it from yut lung**

**Eiji💕**   
**hmmmm that is scary**

_It is scary. Really fucking scary. Cause if this shit gets out about Ash, he’s never gonna be able to have any semblance of normalcy. He’s already labeled as a slut, people suspected and knew he slept around, not necessarily with adult men, but for this story to get out about how his foster dad was hurting him like that, if they learn he was a literal child prostitute, fuck. It’ll be bad._

Shorter groaned. His class had been canceled for the hour and he had been ~~scrolling on social media~~ doing homework. If people were going to be spreading rumors about his friend, he sure as hell was going to stop it.

**Shorter**   
**hey heard youre spreading rumors about ash**

Yut Lung wasn’t fun. He was cold and calculating and downright nasty sometimes, but Sing really liked him. Shorter had never been a fan, and although he knew Yut Lung had been through some hard shit like Ash, it didn’t give him a reason to be as abrasive as he was to the people he actually liked. At least Ash’s toughness was an entire facade but up against people who called him a slut and whore. Yut Lung was just, always like this. 

**The Devil Himself**   
**Why are you accusing me of doing that, Wong?**   
**What makes you think I would care enough about Ash to start rumors about him?**

Shorter scoffed at the text. Yut Lung and Ash had always been at odds with each other. Neither liked the other, but they both recognized a common thread that held them together. Shorter thought that that factor is what made them really hate each other. Yut Lung saw someone like him who was still able to find friendship with others, and Ash saw the cold, merciless boy he pretended to be.

**Shorter**   
**your boyfriend sing texted me two minutes ago about how you told him that ash dropped out of school**

**The Devil Himself**   
**I didn’t start that rumor, I heard it from someone in one of my class group texts.**

**Shorter**   
**whatever you still spread it**   
**what the fuck were they saying**

Shorter wasn’t in the mood to put up with Yut Lung’s games. He wasn’t about to let the bastard go around soiling Ash’s name even more. 

**The Devil Himself**   
**Just that Ash hadn’t been in his classes Friday and he wasn’t in them so far today.**   
**Someone added on that he was apparently failing all his classes.**   
**They had physics with him and the teacher called him out about his failing quiz grade.**   
**So naturally everyone assumes he either flunked out or just dropped it himself.**

Shorter was _seething_. Everyone knew Ash was smart. They knew he passed everything with flying colors, that school was his thing, despite his delinquent appearance. He was good at school, practically a teenage genius. 

So Shorter figured this wasn’t the real rumor. Or at least, it’s not what caught Yut Lung’s attention enough to tell Sing that _something_ was going on with Ash. 

Yut Lung was smart. He knew Sing was close with Shorter, and that Shorter was close with Ash. Therefore, he figured that if Shorter had details on Ash, they might have made their way to Sing. And the way to get them out of Sing was to dump the rumor that the rest of their pea-brained classmates were discussing. 

Yut Lung knew something else, and he was trying to get his confirmation from Sing.

**Shorter**   
**cut the crap no one actually believes he would drop out you’re making that shit up**   
**you know something i know you do**   
**fucking spill it yut lung**

**The Devil Himself**   
**Why would I share what I know with you?**   
**Because if you already know, then you realize this is something serious that shouldn’t be discussed.**

**Shorter**   
**yut lung i swear to fucking god if you dont tell me what you know i will break this quarantine to come over and rock your shit**

There was no immediate response. Shorter stared at his phone, waiting for the text. He watched one minute tick by, then two. 

_Come on. I know you know something. Fucking spill it, asshole._

**The Devil Himself**   
**Even though I no longer live under my brothers’ control, I still keep up on what happens with them. I keep an eye on their finances and scandals, and I track their movements and business ventures. One business that my brothers were involved in was recently featured in the news.  
 **I’m sure you know which I’m talking about.**   
**When I lived under them, I overheard a lot of discussion about the people who owned said business and what went on in it. One such piece of information was about a certain blond-haired, green-eyed boy who wracked up quite the price. This was years ago, and I had not thought about him until I met someone similar in high school.**  
 **And so when the news was released, and a certain man and certain club were the center of the story, you can probably guess where my mind went.****

****_Why the fuck does he type so elegantly?_

Shorter’s suspicions were confirmed. So Yut Lung does know about Ash and his past, granted not all the details of what transpired over quarantine, but he knows more than Shorter realized. 

**Shorter**   
**so you were trying to see if sing knew all that and was gonna tell you**

**The Devil Himself**   
**Maybe.**   
**It’s not like I could have gotten it out of you or Okumura.**

**Shorter**   
**you sick fucking bastard you leave ash alone**   
**you know hes been through shit and youre trying to get it out of people???**   
**so you can spread it??? fuck off man**

Yut Lung made him sick. To think he wanted to spread this shit about Ash. To let everyone know the hell he had been through. As if high school wasn’t rough enough.

**The Devil Himself**   
**I’m not going to spread it, you imbecile. Why on earth would I do that?**   
**I was actually going to combat things. If Sing had known Ash was involved with the news I was gonna work to stop the rumors from spreading further in school.**

_Oh._

Shorter was not expecting that answer. He didn’t think Yut Lung could be that considerate, especially toward Ash. Would he really try and stop people from talking about Ash, even when he didn’t like the blond?

**The Devil Himself**   
**Ash might not be my favorite person, but it’s only because I’m jealous of him.**   
**I know what it’s like to have shit like that spread. I’m going to try and stop it from happening to another person, especially one I’m mildly acquainted with.**

_Man, he sure is an enigma._

**Shorter**   
**oh well**   
**ok then**   
**thanks i guess for that**

**The Devil Himself**   
**I’m not doing it for you.**

And with that the conversation ended.

Shorter wasn’t sure how he felt.

\----

Shorter loved the fact that he could now call Ash and the blond would actually pick up.

“There he is!” Shorter beamed at his phone screen, staring into green eyes which he had so missed.

“Hi, Shorter,” Ash said as he adjusted his hold on his phone.

“Where are you? Bedroom?”

“Nah, this is the living room. Max made me get out of bed cause I spent all yesterday in it.” Ash yawned, and he made a cute squeaking sound.

“Aw, I forgot how adorable your yawns are!”

“Shut the fuck up.” 

Shorter laughed. “Aw, I missed you man!”

He watched as Ash’s scowl softened, and he felt bad for making his friend look so sad for a second. “I missed you too. I missed you a lot. I--yeah.”

Shorter smiled. “Hey, it’s all good. Everything’s good now! So tell me, how’s your day been?” He was waiting to see if any of the rumors had swung back to him. He didn’t want Ash knowing about them.

“Fine. Max made me pancakes. He wanted me to help but I was having trouble standing.”

_Oh god. I never really thought about how much pain he still must be in, even after the hospital._

“I ate one pancake. Um, I’ve just been sitting on the couch. Max put the TV on for us, and he fell asleep.” Ash turned his phone to show Max passed out on the couch beside him. 

“Oh he is out. Whatcha watching?” Shorter wanted to keep Ash talk. He liked hearing his voice, liked listening to him talk about normal things, rather than how he wasn’t looking forward to a weekend of clients, which Shorter never received too much detail on. 

“It’s a cooking show. Chopping Block? I think? I’m not sure.” He turned the camera yet again so Shorter could see the television screen.

“Oh, that’s Chopped. Nadia and I like that one.” Shorter never really considered the fact that Ash didn’t know a lot of what was considered mainstream knowledge. They never talked about pop culture or the latest movies and music. It just hadn’t come up. And now Shorter knows why.

“Well they’re all a lot better than you are at cooking.”

_Damn, even after all that trauma he’s still as witty as ever._

“Hey! You like my cooking, I know you do!” If Shorter’s cooking skills had to be attacked for Ash to smile like that, then so be it. He would do anything to make his friend happy.

“It’s okay,” Ash drawled out. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class now?”

Shorter shook his head. “Teacher gave us off today. My next class starts in ten minutes though. Any idea when you’re gonna start back up?”

Ash looked a bit uncomfortable at the question, and Shorter regretted asking it. He didn’t wanna make it seem like he was pressuring Ash into going back sooner than he was ready. He was just curious.

“No. I--I don’t know. Max said I have to be off at least this whole week, but I think I’ll probably need longer.” His eyes were darting around, looking anywhere but at the camera.

“Hey, man, that’s alright. Take all the time you need. There’s no rush for this. You do it on your own time, dude. We’re all here to help you, however long you may need.” He might have been talking about more than school. 

Ash still wasn’t looking at the screen as he said, “Oh. Okay.”

Shorter’s heart panged. He needed Ash to understand what he was telling him, but he knew he couldn’t push it. So, he’d just do what he was best at, and that was making Ash smile.

“So, did I tell you how Nadia chased me around the apartment with a shoe the other day because I used up her black nail polish?”

Ash cracked a grin.

_Bingo._


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji cares about his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi !! not gonna lie im pretty disappointed with this chapter but I hope you all enjoy it !! this fic is just gonna be a lot of fluff from now on, in case you couldnt tell !! ok hope you all enjoy thanks luvs !! :)

Shorter’s text messages were seared into Eiji’s brain. 

**hey you never said anything about ash to anyone right?**

**cause i think somehow rumors are spreading around**

**sing texted me asking if ash had dropped out**

_What are they saying about you? Why can’t they leave you alone? They already spew hate calling you a whore and a slut when those things are not true, why would they look to hurt you more? You are so kind, Ash, so sweet and kind._

It hurt, knowing people were talking about Ash. That there were texts floating around speculating about what the class whore had done this time. It made Eiji’s stomach twist. 

_Ash deserves none of this. None of it. Not the judgment and hate from his classmates. Not the pain and torture from those men. Why does the world seem to hate you, Ashu? I love you. Shorter loves you. Mr. Max even loves you. Why are there so many mean people?_

“Eiji? Eiji, are you paying attention?”

Eiji’s attention snapped back to his computer screen. He had forgotten he was in class, absolutely lost in his train of thought. 

“Um, can you repeat the question, my audio was funny?” It was a lie so many kids employed all the time, but the teacher couldn’t call them out for it, lest they seem like an asshole degrading those who didn’t have the best technology at home.

“I repeated it about three times, but okay.” She sighed and read it back to Eiji, his face burning from embarrassment.

_School is nowhere near as important as Ash. I don’t care about this stuff when I have him to worry about._

“You got that?” 

_Ah fuck! I wasn’t paying attention again._

“Uh, I am sorry, Miss, but I am having trouble understanding.” 

Oh well. The teacher’s job was to help him learn, after all.

\----

“Say, Ei-chan, how is your friend doing?” 

Eiji looked up from his plate to meet Ibe-san’s gaze. He had told him about Ash and his need to go and save him, and Ibe-san had been rather wary. 

_“You cannot just run into possible danger, Eiji! Were you even thinking when you left the apartment?!”_

_“Ashu needed my help! He was being hurt!”_

It had been a long, tense conversation, but it ended with Ibe understanding just how important Ash was to Eiji. 

“He is good. He left the hospital yesterday, and is living with a teacher now. He likes him. He is safe there I think. Me and Shorter will be making sure he is not hurt.” Eiji took a bite of food, humming contentedly. 

“That is good. You are a very good friend, Ei-chan. I am sure Ash appreciates your help.” Ibe went back to focusing on eating, but Eiji didn’t necessarily want the conversation to stop there.

“Ash does not like help. He never has. But at the hospital, he let me and Shorter hug him. And he has told me about how Mr. Max has helped him with many things. He is getting good with help. And I am very proud of him.”

Mere thoughts about Ash made Eiji smile. He loved thinking about how far the blond had come within recent times. He hoped that Ash was happier, that he felt safer and better. He deserved to feel that way.

“That is kind of you, Ei-chan. All you can do now is show him love.” Ibe-san always had excellent pieces of advice. He knew what to say. 

“Yes. I want to be a good friend to him.” 

They fell into comfortable silence, the only sounds that of their eating. Eiji was thinking about Ash, how he hoped his friend was having a good night. He liked talking to him last night, and he had texted him a few times throughout the day. It was great to be back in contact with him.

The months spent worrying about his friend had made him push aside the thoughts he had regarding the blond in other contexts. Like how he really wanted to hug and kiss Ash.

Eiji felt his cheeks heat up just at the thought. He glanced up at Ibe-san to make sure he was not looking. Didn’t want him asking why he was bright red all of the sudden.

Eiji allowed himself to indulge in those thoughts again. He reminisced how soft Ash’s skin was when he touched him, how the boy’s laugh was light and happy. He thought of looking into those deep green eyes, watching millions of emotions pass through them, seeing Ash relax in his trust of Eiji. He missed his friend’s aura, how he felt safe around Ash, how he felt like they were the only people in the world.

He knew Ash was recovering from a _lot_ of trauma, that which circulated around intimacy, so Eiji did not think he would be able to present those feelings to Ash for a long while. He didn’t want to make his friend uncomfortable, didn’t want him to think Eiji would ever _think_ about hurting him like others had. 

Eiji just wanted to provide him the unconditional love that he deserved. He was willing to wait for Ash, as long as he needed to. Could be forever.

But Eiji would wait.

\----

Eiji had been lying on his bed, ignoring his math homework when his phone buzzed with the call from Ash. He did not hesitate to pick up.

“Hiiiiii, Ashu!” 

They weren’t facetiming like they had for all their previous calls, and he hoped there was no serious reason behind Ash’s decision for it.

“Hey, Eiji.” There was a beat of silence. “How are you?”

_He sounds nervous. Why does he sound nervous? Am I making him nervous? Is something happening at home? Oh no, what if something bad is happening!_

“I am fine! Tired from school. I do not like math homework.” He groaned and pushed his face into his pillow. Pulling back, he asked, “And how are you, Ashu?”

Another beat of silence, and Eiji felt like he could see Ash’s face calculating the correct words to respond with. 

“I’m--okay. I, uh, had trouble eating. Max was trying to help, and things got a bit intense. I--I panicked. Pretty badly. I’m tired too.”

_Poor Ash. He keeps having these instances of panic. I hope this gets better._

“Well, I hope you are feeling better. A call from Eiji will help, yes?”

Eiji liked to think Ash was smiling.

“Yes, this helps Eiji.”

Eiji felt his heart swell. He was helping! He was making Ash feel better!

“Um, Eiji. Can I ask you something?”

_Oh. So that’s why he’s nervous. He has a question. But what is it? Is it serious? Is he okay?_

“You can ask me anything, Ashu! What is it?”

“Um . . .” Ash’s voice wavered as he began, “Do you want to come over and hang out? Max says you can come over, if you want. I know we’re not supposed to but, you’ve been safe. I’ve been safe. Only issue is Michael still has baseball, but they wear masks and don’t let the kids get close. If you don’t feel safe, though, then you don’t have to come.”

_Aw, he was nervous about inviting me over!_

Eiji was ecstatic that Ash wanted to see him again. He was worried that the hell his best friend had been through was going to incline him to push everyone away, but it seemed that it was having the opposite effect. Ash was accepting their calls and texting back. And from what Ash told them, it seemed that he wasn’t pushing away the help from Mr. Max and his wife. 

Ash was letting people take care of him.

“Hmmm. I am sure Ibe-san would let me come over. The only time I left the apartment was to come see you with Shorter. When can I come over?”

“Uh, I’ll have to double check with Max. Probably like, Saturday, cause he and Jess don’t work then.”

Eiji squealed a little. “Saturday! That sounds perfect! Oh, Ashu I am very excited!”

And again, Eiji liked to think Ash was smiling again.

“M-me too, Eiji. I’m excited too.”

_I will help you feel better, Ash!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you should ;) follow me on tumblr ;) @planetesimalwords ;)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He couldn't mess this up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again !! a longer chapter so I hope you enjoy !! warning for mild suicidal thoughts and panic attacks and reference to some of ash's abuse !! ok thanks for reading stay beautiful !! :)

Living with Max required a lot of adjustments. Ash wasn’t used to being allowed to just exist however he wanted. Quarantine had skewed his idea of what living was like, as he was never left alone and dealt with harsher than normal conditions. But even before the lockdown, when Ash was home with Dino, he couldn’t do anything without permission. He couldn’t take up space, make noise, use resources. His only purpose in the house was to pleasure Dino.

But with the Glenreeds, all of that changed. Max kept telling Ash he didn’t have to ask to do things like go to the bathroom and get a drink of water. He could leave his room whenever he wanted and sit in any of the rooms in the house, except Michael’s when he was on for school. Ash liked that because it was a rule he could follow. He understood rules, and he had a hard time believing that besides that one, there were no other rules and guidelines for living with these people.

It made Ash’s skin crawl, the thought that they were hiding things from him so that when he messed up they could pounce on him. He tried to tell himself that that wasn’t the case, that Max and Jessica were nice people, but his mind had a hard time believing that.

So he tried to exist without much of a presence. He stayed in his room unless asked to come out. He didn’t eat unless Max brought him something or invited him down for dinner, where he would sit and stare at his food until he felt comfortable to ask for permission to eat (which Max always told him wasn’t necessary). He snuck to the bathroom at times he hoped no one was listening. He kept his voice down when Eiji or Shorter called him, haunted from that first time when Max said he heard him talking.

He didn’t want to piss these people off and have them kick him out. 

He couldn’t mess this up.

\----

It was Wednesday, the day Max had decided to go back to working. Ash assured him that he would be fine, that he didn’t need Max checking in on him every hour as he laid in bed and attempted not to panic. 

“Are you sure, Aslan? Cause I have plenty of vacation time to use. I can take the day off! We can watch TV together like we did on Monday.” Monday had been the only day Ash had really done anything. Max cajoled him downstairs for a few hours, but when the chance came, Ash had booked it back up the steps to his room. All of Tuesday had been spent lying in the dark, a disgruntled Max flicking his light on come sundown. Ash didn’t want them wasting resources on him.

“I’m fine. I could use the rest. I don’t mind just laying here,” Ash said as he stretched out in bed.

“You did that yesterday, though. You can leave your room, kid. We aren’t making you stay trapped in here.” Max drummed his fingers on the doorframe, a look of concern on his face. “I know this is hard for you, but I think getting up and becoming more familiar with the house could be a good thing! You’re allowed to sit in the living room and kitchen, you know.”

Ash rolled his eyes. “Of course I know that. I’m just comfortable here. No point in going and laying somewhere else if I’m fine here.”

He heard Max sigh and drop his arms to his sides. “Well, okay then. If you’re that certain. I’ll just be next door, right on the other side of this wall if you need anything, okay? Jess is working in the basement. Michael’s in his room. Just--don’t hesitate if you need something.”

“Tell my classmates I say hi.” Ash tried to sound happy and playful, but even he couldn’t hide the sad undertone to that statement. 

Max gave him a nod before stepping away and shutting the door. Ash let out a sigh. His teacher-turned-guardian didn’t make him uncomfortable (he actually felt rather safe with Max around, not that he would admit it out loud), but he didn’t want to make the man miss work so he could sit there and watch Ash fight off wave after wave of panic. 

Ash grabbed his phone. He shouldn’t text Eiji or Shorter. They would be in school, and as much as Ash knew Shorter didn’t care about paying attention, he would feel slightly guilty if he was the reason for his friend’s inattentiveness. 

That left only a few things to do. He didn’t have social media, that would have been a big issue with Dino. And besides, Ash was on plenty of other sites, just not appropriate ones. 

He could watch YouTube videos, either things Shorter might have sent him or some informational videos on certain topics. Ash, at his core, was a nerd. He liked reading and learning and absorbing as much as he could. He much preferred reading to watching, but he had never really had the chance to sit and enjoy a good documentary. Now could be the time.

However, it had been months since Ash had read something good. He may not have any physical books, but the internet was sure to be full of online copies of his favorites. 

_You can read now. No one's gonna stop you. Just open your phone and search up a book, any book. Read, you stupid slut._

Unlocking his phone, Ash clicked open the internet app, and immediately regretted it. He had forgotten that despite using his phone more recently to text and call, he had yet to venture into other apps. And that included the search engine, where he currently had open a tab to one of the various websites Dino made him work on.

And on his screen was a thumbnail of the last video he had been made to put up.

He froze, eyes stuck on his face, contorted in fake pleasure, though for him it was easy to tell it was all a performance. He could see the dried tear tracks on his cheeks, probably caused by Dino having finished using him a few minutes before he started filming the video.

Hands beginning to shake, Ash tapped the button to see the comments.

_Why are you doing that? There’s no reason to look at these. No, I have to. I have to see what they’re saying about me. I have to see whether they like me or not. If I’m a good little whore. Cause if not, then I’m nothing._

Ash began to read the comments. No surprise, there was a lot. He was _very_ popular on this site. 

The comments ranged from saying things about how cute he looked to people wishing they could have their own way with him. A lot of people said he looked so young, that he could pass as a child.

_Jokes on them, I am one. No you’re not. You haven’t been a kid since you seduced your coach. You became an adult right then and there in his bed._

Ash didn’t notice how his breathing had picked up as he scrolled. He didn’t realize how fuzzy he felt, how the room seemed to spin and the only thing anchoring him was his small phone screen filled with lustful comments of people who got their pleasure from his pain. 

He barely registered how badly his hands were shaking. He couldn’t feel the tears slipping down his cheeks and off his chin. He didn’t hear the almost animal-like whimpers that were coming from the back of his throat as his panic rose with each comment.

And then, he read one that wasn’t so good: “He isn’t bad, but he doesn’t seem like he likes it. It’s like we can tell this is a routine, his performance isn’t selling. Still, I’d like to fuck him. If I were there, I’d bend him over and make him feel really good so that he was crying for pleasure.”

_He doesn’t like you. He can tell you’re faking it. You aren’t making his fantasies come true. He knows it’s a routine. He knows Dino was making you. He knows you don’t like it. He knows you didn’t like it. He knows you didn’t LIKE it._

“I--I didn’t like it!” The yell tore itself out of Ash’s throat before he could realize he was saying what he was thinking. He looked away from his phone, blinking, trying to get its harsh light out of his eyes. 

_He didn’t like you cause you didn’t like it._

Everything was spinning. Ash brought a hand up to his face, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to drown everything out. He thought he could make out a knock on the door, but it was hard to tell over the ringing that had begun to pound in his ears. 

“Aslan?”

Ash opened his eyes, turning his head too sharply to the side, causing him to wince. He felt the bile rise up from his stomach, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and throwing up on ~~his~~ the floor.

“Oh, it’s okay, Aslan. Alright, alright it’s--let it out.”

_Who the fuck--MAX. Oh god, I’m puking on his floor. God, all this work not to bother him and I’m throwing up! God, just fucking let me die before he throws me out onto the street._

“You’re alright. Let it all out. Deep breaths, Aslan, deep breaths. Come on. Can you hear me Aslan?”

_Yes,_ he thought to himself, but he couldn’t voice this. All he could do was make a pathetic whining sound. 

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. What’s going on, you look confused. Are you with me, Aslan? Here,” and Max reached forward and wrapped Ash’s hand around his own, “squeeze my hand if you can hear me. If you know what’s going on.”

Ash weakly squeezed the older man’s much larger hand. He felt himself fall forward a little, but was stopped by a strong hand to the shoulder.

_Max is helping. He isn’t about to hurt you._

“I gotcha. It’s okay. Um, here, why don’t I bring you to my office. You probably don’t wanna be near this much longer, yeah?” He squeezed Max’s hand again, hoping he would understand that as another affirmative. “I’m gonna take that as a yes, okay? Alright.”

Ash could barely register the covers being pushed away, the hands reaching under him to lift him up. Before he realized it, his cheek was resting on Max’s shoulder and two strong arms were secured under his thighs, but not in a way he had felt a million times before.

“Dad. . .” The word slipped from him, not really aware of what he was saying. All Ash knew was he was being picked up and held by someone who cared about him.

“I’m right here, Aslan. I got you. I’m gonna take care of you. It’s alright.” 

_He didn’t say anything. About the “dad.” He just let me call him that, even when I’m not his son._

Ash felt himself bump along as Max walked the few steps over to his office. Ash hadn’t really been inside before, so he was a little surprised to see what looked like a futon along with a desk, chair, and computer. 

“Let’s lay you down,” Max softly said as he leaned down to deposit Ash onto the bed. 

But he stopped when Ash whined in protest.

_What are you, a fucking baby? Whining like that. God, it’s pathetic enough that you threw up and he had to carry you, now you’re getting upset that he’s gonna let you go?! Fucking whore, you must miss the touch of older men so badly._

“Want to sit with me?” Ash, unsure of how exactly his body was positioned, flexed his hands, realizing they were tucked between his and Max’s chests, and he fisted a hand in Max’s shirt and tugged a little. “Another yes? Okay. You can sit with me while I do work.”

Everything still felt a bit fuzzy to Ash as Max sat and situated him in his lap. His head still lolled on his shoulder, but now his legs were tucked up to his chest as his full weight rested on Max’s thighs. 

“I’m gonna take off work again. I didn’t have a first period, so I’ve been looking over past assignments and lesson plans. We can keep doing that, but I’m not gonna teach again today.”

_You’re preventing him from working. You’re making his life difficult. You’re gonna make him lose his job because he can never teach again with you requiring his assistance for every little thing. You’re just like Dino, making him follow you around so you can get what you want._

Ash groaned, closing his eyes and turning his head so his face was pressed into Max’s shoulder. He inhaled sharply, catching a whiff of Max’s shirt, a scent similar yet different to Eiji’s. He whined again as his exhale came out in choppy spurts.

“Shhhh, it’s okay. Whatever happened, it’s okay. I’m here now.” A hand started to move up and down Ash’s back, slowly. It was soothing and warm and soft and everything that Dino’s touches never had been. Ash felt his heart contract.

“He doesn’t--want me. He knows--I don’t--like it,” Ash gritted out through clenched teeth. 

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean, sweetheart.” 

_Sweetheart._

Ash heard that word used all the time. Dino had loved to call Ash that, loved to tell Ash how much he meant to him, how much he adored and loved him. How Ash was his prize, his toy, his pet, his _thing._ His sweetheart.

“The man--on the video.” Ash knew he wasn’t making sense. He knew Max had no idea what he was talking about. But he couldn’t bring himself to say a lot of the key words.

“What video, Aslan? Was this on your phone?”

“Mhm,” he hummed in confirmation, trying his best to nod while keeping his face planted firmly into Max.

The hand on his back never stopped moving, going up and down and rubbing little circles into his back here and there.

“Was it about you, or was it just some other random video?”

“It was--my video. On the site. I--touching.” It was so hard to say. It was so hard to admit and confirm that yes, Ash had been looking at a video where he touched himself for other people’s pleasure. Yes, he cared about what the viewers thought. Yes, this was his life.

“One of the videos Dino made you do?” The hand traveled up to the back of Ash’s head, combing through hair and stopping, fingers starting to scratch at his scalp.

_That feels so fucking good._

“Y-yes. He--he made me. I didn’t--want to.”

“I know you didn’t, Aslan. I know you didn’t want to do any of that.”

“He--made me. And he--knew.” He was definitely still being much too vague for Max to understand, but he didn’t care. Just getting the bare minimum words out was doing enough to make him feel better. He felt like the smallest of weights had been lifted off his chest. It didn’t hurt as much to breathe. There was now someone who knew what was making him feel so bad, there was someone who would listen.

“He made you do a lot of awful things, huh? Things that made you upset.” Ash squeaked as he tried to stop his tears. He had been crying far too much lately. But he couldn’t help it. He felt so sad and hurt and scared and tired, the tears just came naturally. “I’m sorry he did that to you, Aslan. That wasn’t okay. None of it was okay.”

“I--thought I--good--but he--didn’t--worthless.” He managed to force the words out in between sobs, his body shaking as his crying grew in intensity. “Stupid--worthless--slut.”

“Hey. Hey, Aslan, we don’t say those things. We don’t say those things about ourselves. I know you’re scared and hurt right now, but even then we don’t call ourselves such mean things. You aren’t any of those words. None of that is true.”

Ash just moaned as he sobbed, letting the sadness fill every corner of his body. 

_Max is right. I’m none of those things. No! You’re every single one of those things and more. Slut. Whore. Toy. Pet. Toilet. Worthless. Stupid. Pathetic. Disgusting. Useless. You’re barely even a person. Scratch that, you aren’t a person, you’re a_ thing _that Dino_ owned. _You haven’t mattered to anyone since Griff left for Iraq ten years ago. He’s the last person who cared about you, and if he saw the pathetic little whore you are today, he’d hate you. He’d hate you so much. He’d be so disappointed in everything you’ve become. You’re disgusting._

“Aslan! Deep breaths, honey!” 

Hearing his name jolted him out of his thoughts, and Ash realized he was gasping and wheezing for air, barely anything making it into his lungs.

“Follow me. Listen to me count. Come on, Aslan, breathe with me kiddo, follow my counts.”

Ash numbly listened as Max started calmly reciting numbers, and he realized he was pulled away from his shoulder, leaning back into strong arms, looking straight at the face of his dead brother’s best friend. 

_How much more fucked up could his life be?_

“Stay with me, Aslan. I saw your eyes flutter. Focus on nothing but breathing.”

_He’s trying to help you and you’re making things worse! You’re making it harder for him!_

“H-h-hurts,” he groaned out. Ash felt the unsteady rise and fall of his chest as he weakly attempted to follow Max’s instructions.

“I know, kid, I know. But it’ll hurt less if you breathe, I promise.”

_“I’ll see you soon, Aslan, I promise.”_

_You lied, Griff. You lied and you left me! I left me and I got raped and hurt and tortured and now I’m suffocating and I miss you and I--_

“Aslan, Aslan look at me. Look at me.”

_Brown eyes, like Eiji and Shorter, but these are a lot lighter. Max. Max Max Max Max Max._

“M-Max.” 

“It’s me. It’s me, kid. Come on, Aslan, stay with me. Keep breathing.”

“H-help.” He was barely holding on. He was barely managing to do this. It was so hard, living like this. It was so hard dealing with what he did everyday. He wished it was easier.

“I’m trying. I’m trying, so just listen and follow. Listen and follow.”

Ash did as he was told. He breathed in and out with the numbers, letting Max grab one of his hands and place it on his chest, forcing Ash to feel his steady heart beat and own even breathing. 

It took a few minutes, but slowly, Ash was able to inhale and exhale normally, and he no longer felt like he was underwater anymore. Everything was much clearer: the ringing in his ears was gone, his sight wasn’t as foggy. He was still slightly shaking, though.

A hand came up and brushed the hair off his face, tucking it behind his ear. It rested on the side of his head, once again scratching at his scalp and making him feel oh so good.

“Good job, Aslan. That was rough, but you did it. You got through that. Thank you for letting me help you.” Max smiled at him.

_Why is he praising me? All I did was panic and throw up and cry and be vague about what made me upset in the first place, he shouldn’t be telling me I did a good job._

“Why?”

Max cocked his head, most likely trying to figure out what Ash was asking. But his answer proved he knew. “Because, like I said, that was hard. Something upset you, and it was making things really difficult. But you let me bring you back, let me help you breathe and relax, and for that I’m very proud of you.”

_Oh._

There was a kiss to his forehead. Ash jumped slightly, cheeks flushing. He really liked when Max did that. Not in a weird way. It felt very soft and like there was a lot of meaning behind it. The intention wasn’t to exert power over Ash. It wasn’t to mark him as a piece of property. No. When Max kissed his forehead, it was the equivalent of him saying, “I want to be here for you. I want you to feel better. I love you.” 

Ash knew it was impossible that Max loved him. He already had a son, he didn’t need another one, especially one as fucked up as he was. No. There wasn’t fatherly love behind the kiss, only a general sense of caring.

_Aren’t those the same, though?_

“I’m sorry,” Ash whispered as he looked over Max’s shoulder, staring at the corner of the futon. 

Max’s fingers had never stopped scratching.

“Why would you say that?”

Ash shrugged, keeping his eyes anywhere but his teacher’s. “Cause you were supposed to work and I had to go and throw up and panic and cause a whole mess. I’m sorry I keep doing this shit.”

“Aslan.” Firm, but not angry. It was a tone Max was good at. He used it anytime he really wanted Ash to listen to what he had to say. “You don’t have to apologize for any of that. I told you, I can take off work. It’s no big deal. And you got scared. You weren’t feeling good. It’s okay. These things happen. They’re gonna keep happening. You went through a lot, Aslan. A lot. And it’s totally normal for you to get triggered and react like this. It’s okay.”

“But it--it’s dumb. I--y-yesterday I just kept almost panicking. Cause I would hear a loud noise or think about what Dino would have been doing to me or get scared when I heard footsteps in the hall. Every little thing set me off and it happened again today!”

“You were panicking yesterday and didn’t tell me?”

Oops. Ash hadn’t mentioned that he had been trapped in his mind all day yesterday. He just made it seem like he was napping or talking to his friends.

“Sorry.”

“It’s--it’s fine. If you don’t feel comfortable enough to get me, then you don’t have to. But I want you to know that you can ask for me or Jess to help you at any time. And we really mean that.”

Ash dared to meet his eyes. They were warm and soft and sincere and Ash felt so _safe_ just looking into them.

“O-oh.” He slowly leaned forward, returning his head to its position on his shoulder. 

“We’re here for you Aslan. You’re our son too now.”

_I’m nobody’s son. I was never Jim’s. I was Griff’s younger brother, even if there were times he felt kind of like a father. And Papa was . . . he doesn’t count. I haven’t had a great track record with father’s. I can’t go and mess up Max’s life like that._

These thoughts weren’t what came out of Ash’s mouth, though.

“I-I’m your--son?”

He thought he could feel Max smile against him as he pressed another kiss to his head. “Yes. Yes you are. And we already love you a lot.”

_So maybe there is love in that kiss._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr @planetesimalwords !!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max is a great dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wassup hi !! minor warning for quick mention of disordered eating !! im very tired as im positing this I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors hehe !! please eat up and enjoy !! :)

_“He followed me everywhere.”_

Every time he considered staying with Ash a few seconds longer, the boy’s voice rang through Max’s head. He couldn’t be like Dino; he couldn’t deny Ash privacy just because he was worried about him. 

Max wanted to make sure the teen was okay. The only moments they really interacted were when Max was reminding him to eat, encouraging him to leave his room, or helping him down from a panic attack or flashback. It hurt to hear him scream and cry in fear and pain. He didn’t like the fact that every time he walked away, he was called back by a panicked voice a few minutes later.

But he knew what Dino had done. He knew Ash hadn’t had a moment of privacy in months. He wanted to offer him that comfort, even though every moment alone only seemed to bring about anxiety.

Max wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to just sit by Ash’s side, talk to him about nonsense, just so the blond could get used to being near someone he trusted. He also wanted the teen to come to him when he felt most comfortable, when he actually wanted Max.

It was a tricky situation.

And Max couldn’t afford to fuck it up.

After the intense attack on Wednesday, when Ash had fallen asleep in Max’s lap and he used the time to go and clean up the sick that was in the other room, Max offered to stay by his side for the rest of the day. 

He was shocked when Ash accepted the offer, laying on the bed and listening to Max type. Max kept offering the books from the shelves for Ash to read or saying he could go and watch TV downstairs if he preferred. He has just shrugged, shifting in bed so he was lying more comfortably. 

The rest of the day passed without another incident, partially because, Max thought, Ash was so exhausted from the earlier one. 

Thursday rolled around and Max finally returned to teaching. He had asked Ash yet again the night before, and unsurprisingly, the blond had insisted Max go back to work.

Max would admit, he missed seeing his students. Some asked how he was doing, and he assured them he was okay, said he had some family issues to attend to. So, the truth. 

During his lunch break, Max was shocked to find Ash in the kitchen, staring at the closed cupboard door. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Max said as he walked to the sink, depositing his now empty coffee cup. “Looking for something to eat?”

“No.” The word came out rushed, like it was a reaction more than a legitimate answer.

“You can eat, buddy. Whatcha want? I was gonna make myself a sandwich, want me to make you one too?” Max watched Ash blink a few times, giving the man a quizzical look.

“I don’t--you don’t--”

“I want to, Aslan.” He knew what was going to be said. He knew Ash was going to go on a tangent about how he didn’t deserve these things, how Max doesn’t need to do things for him. He wasn’t going to listen today. “Here. I’m gonna make some ham and cheese sandwiches.”

He got to work, opening the fridge and pulling out the necessary ingredients. He glanced out of the corner of his eye to see Ash still standing there, his eyes tracking Max’s motions.

“Want to watch? Make sure everything looks good?” He remembered Ash mentioning times he had been drugged against his will, so he assumed he would be a bit wary around others making food for him. “Do you have a preference for the layout of your meat and cheese?”

Ash shook his head, but he silently approached Max’s side. He wasn’t too close that they were about to touch, but he wasn’t far enough that Max couldn’t reach him to jab him with his elbow in a friendly manner. 

“Alright. I’ll just make it how I eat it.” He worked on the two sandwiches, not much skill required. He felt Ash’s eyes boring into him, but it didn’t bother him. He knew watching made him feel better.

“Okay! Eat up!” Shoving the plate into Ash’s hands, Max gently nudged him to sit down at the table. Again to his surprise, Ash sat down. He waited for Max to sit as well before he picked the sandwich up, only to immediately put it back down.

“I--sorry. Um, can you--I know you just did something for me but, can I ask another favor?” His hands twitched nervously where they were resting on the table, and Max noticed how his wide eyes darted around Max’s face.

“Sure, kiddo,” Max said through a mouthful of food. “Wha’ is it?”

Max wiped his hands on his hands before gently clapping them together. Ash fumbled nervously for something in his pockets, before placing his phone on the table and sliding it to Max.

“Can you, uh, open the web app, and can you close all the tabs? I--i-it’s videos of me. But you’ve seen me in uh--similar states before. So, uh, can you just, close them out, without really looking? It’s what--it’s what made me so upset yesterday.” Ash wouldn’t meet his eyes as he voiced his request.

Max’s heart hurt. “Yeah, yeah of course, Aslan, I can do that. Thank you for trusting me.” Ash mumbled something as Max picked the phone up. “Can you tell me your passcode?”

“Oh--there isn’t one. I--Dino w-wouldn’t let me.”

_God, each day I learn more and more about that bastard and he just keeps getting worse._

Max opened Ash’s phone and steeled his nerves before pressing the icon. The first thing that popped up was the comments section on a video.

_This must have been what he was mentioning yesterday,_ Max thought as he absorbed the words on the screen. _God, these are fucking sick._

Max closed the tab, but his eyes were hit with another tab, this time a picture of Ash. His shock at seeing it stopped him from closing it right away. He felt _sick._ As quick as he could, Max swiped the tab away. He was bombarded with another. And another. And another.

_There’s too many. This is unreal. God this poor kid. Everything he’s been through._

Max glanced up to see Ash gripping the edge of the table, his gaze focused downward, his eyes and expression hard with anger and sadness. Too many tears were welling up in his eyes, daring to fall, but he held them back.

Max turned back to the phone, speeding through and closing every last tab out, not letting any of them catch his attention for long enough. 

_Too fucking many._

“Here. Done.” Max slid the phone back to Ash who was still white-knuckling the table. “Hey. Let it out. I can see you wanna cry.”

“I don’t--need to cry anymore,” Ash bit out, swiping for his phone and shoving it back in his pocket. “Thanks.” He shot up, chair scraping the floor. His eyes remained stuck on the floor as he tried to rush out of the room.

“Aslan.” Max knew the tone that always seemed to work with Ash. He knew what the boy responded to. But it didn’t do the trick this time. Ash kept his pace out of the room, rounding the corner and heading straight for the stairs. “Aslan, wait!” Max got up, jogging to catch up to Ash who was now ascending the steps. “Aslan, please stop. Let’s eat. Come on, I made you a sandwich.”

“Why would you wanna feed _me,_ a _whore,_ after what you just saw? Doesn’t that disgust you? Doesn’t that make you hate me?” Max could almost see the self-loathing drip off Ash. The teen truly believed what had been done to him was his own fault. It’s what all those monsters told him for ten years.

“Aslan, I don’t hate you. Nothing could make me hate you, Aslan. What I just saw, those videos that Golzine made you do, those things you didn’t have a choice in, those don’t make me see you any differently. You are not defined by those things.”

Ash stomped his foot on the stairs, and Max’s heart ached with how it reminded him that Ash was just a _child._

“Well it should! I’m a whore! A fucking slut! And you just saw it! And that’s not even fucking half of it Max, god that’s not even close to a _quarter_ of the shit. You can’t just keep helping me and giving me things and wasting all this time and energy on a teenager who is good for nothing but sex!”

Ash had said shit like this before, had said he wasn’t worth anything except for the purpose of sex. Even though Max had heard it several times, it still made him indescribably upset. This kid who was made to believe he was nothing more than an object for greedy men, who thought he had wanted all of it.

“Aslan, you know that’s not true. You’ve told me before that you didn’t want it, that you didn’t ask for what they did.”

“Then I was fucking lying, Max!”

_God, I don’t like screaming with him._

“You weren’t, Aslan, I know you weren’t.”

Max watched the anger wash away, saw as sadness replaced it. The tears from earlier began to fall, and any strength and adrenaline that had propelled Ash forward left him, causing him to collapse on the stairs. Max did not hesitate to rush forward.

“Oh, kid. Can I hold you again?” He would always ask. He would ask until Ash came to him first, seeking out the touch of his father.

_Father. I told him he’s our son, and I meant it. I wouldn’t lie about something like that, especially with his track record of fathers. And he did call me dad that one time, so maybe he wants it too._

“Y-you don’t have to--k-keep doing that--for me,” he managed out between heaving sobs.

“I want to. Aslan, please understand that I _want_ to do these things, otherwise I wouldn’t offer. I want to help you, whatever that help may be.” Max couldn’t stand to see Ash hurt like this. He hated seeing the boy in such pain, such anguish, such distress. 

Ash whined, weakly slamming his hands down on the stairs beside him. “You--fuck!” He tried to stand, grasping for the railing and attempting to lift himself. It was a futile effort.

“Aslan, let me help. Come on.” Max leaned forward, gripping the teen under the arms like he had done in the bathroom his first day here. “Come on, kid, let’s just go sit on the couch, okay?”

“Leave me alone!” The statement was loud and clear, yelled at Max with an angry tone. Max immediately let go of Ash, staggering back a little. Realization of what he said dawned on Ash’s face, and Max noticed intense fear take over. 

_He’s terrified of disobeying me, making me angry. He’s petrified right now that I’m going to be mad._

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean to--I know you’re trying to help I just--”

Max held a hand up, indicating for Ash to stop. He did, and the silence was filled with his shuddering breaths caused by the crying. 

“Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong for saying what you wanted. You never said yes to me touching you, so that was my fault. You do not need to apologize for asking me to step back. I’m proud of you, actually. That was good.”

The confusion on Ash’s face just made the emotional pain Max felt worse. The blond couldn’t comprehend having the ability to make a choice and voice discomfort when the choice was ignored.

They remained where they were, standing on the steps, tensions high. Ash was heaving, trying to stop his crying and get his breathing back to normal. Max watched, making sure not to move suddenly, keeping his posture and expression relaxed and comforting. 

_Just stay calm. Let him dictate the pace right now._

A long couple of minutes passed before Ash brought a hand up to his face, scrubbing at his eyes. “I’m not really hungry anymore. Can I just go to my room?”

Max couldn’t let him not eat. He had avoided too many meals. Max had been so excited to see him looking as if he was going to eat earlier. That minor progress was lost. 

But he also didn’t want to tell Ash what to do. No more of that.

“You can do whatever you want, but can you at least try and eat in your room? You barely ate at dinner last night, and I know you didn’t eat breakfast. I can bring it to you.” 

Ash shifted uncomfortably, worrying at his lip. “I--well, I guess you made it, and I don’t want your food to go to waste because of me. So, uh, yeah, I guess.”

The reasoning didn’t please Max, but he would take what he could get.

“I’ll meet you upstairs, okay?” 

A nod from Ash, and Max was hurrying back to the kitchen, grabbing the plate and quickly filling a glass of water. Trudging back upstairs, Max rapped softly on Ash’s door. A soft “come in” allowed him to push the door open.

Ash was lying in bed, curled in a ball on his side, looking, once again, like he was fighting back tears. 

_There’s got to be more I can do to help him. But what?_

Max set the plate and glass on the bedside table. “Just eat what you can, okay? Doesn’t have to be the whole thing. Don’t feel bad about not eating it all.”

Ash grunted in response, keeping his eyes locked on his hands laid out in front of him. 

“Okay. Call me if you need something.” Max stepped back out, closing the door with a soft click. He sighed, running a hand down his face. 

None of this was getting easier. He hadn’t really expected it to, considering the insane amount of trauma Ash had endured. But he had hoped things would get a little better each day. The day before had seemed like a big step, and now they were back in a rut, Ash not wanting to let Max hold and comfort him. 

_All you can do right now is help him when he wants it. You gotta let him call the shots._

\----

Classes went over smoothly. Max had been slightly worried, what with him being absent for almost a week, but everything was fine. They had been doing the replacement assignments (to his surprise), and everything was still on track. 

He signed off after his last class, shutting his computer down and sighing. 

_Guess I’ll go see how Michael and Jess are doing, leave Ash alone._

Max rose from his chair, and when he turned, a silhouette caused him to jump.

“Jesus!” Ash was standing in the doorway, backlit by the hall light.

“I’m sorry. Fuck I--I didn’t mean to--I’m sorry!” The apologies rolled out of his mouth faster than Max’s heart was beating.

Max smiled, chuckling softly and waving the teen off. “It’s fine! I can’t believe I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I’m good at being quiet.”

_I know you are. You don’t make a sound when you move around the house._

Desperate to figure out what Ash was doing there, Max voiced his question. “So what’s up, honey?”

He saw Ash tense slightly at the name before shaking his head once and letting his body relax again. 

“I just--it was getting too hard. I--can I just sit with you?” 

_He’s so hesitant to ask for help, even when he so clearly wants it._

“Of course! Wanna stay in here, or go downstairs? I’m done work now.” 

Ash hummed a little, glancing around the room. “I think, um, here?”

Max smiled and nodded. “Here is good! Do you just wanna sit in proximity, or like, do you want me to hold you again?”

Max couldn’t miss the blush that came to Ash’s cheeks. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking overtly awkward and embarrassed. 

“Can you, um, hold me? Again?”

Max beamed. He was hoping that would be the answer.

“Sure! Wanna sit on the bed?” Ash padded over, sitting down. Max followed, sitting beside him, pushing back until he hit the wall, and he patted his thighs. “Sit in my lap?”

Ash brought a hand up to his face, picking at his lip while he bit it. He slowly scooted toward Max, letting their legs press together. Max just smiled, not moving his hands until Ash was completely situated.

“I can--your lap?” His voice wavered as he asked the question.

“Mhm. You can, if you want.” Max needed him to understand that whatever he did, it should have been because he actually _wanted_ to. 

The blond waited a few moments before tucking his legs underneath himself so he was kneeling, and he lowered himself onto Max’s lap. He brought his legs to his chest, like that had been just the day before, and he tucked himself under Max’s chin.

Max felt his heart jump for joy. Ash was here, sitting in his lap, curled against his chest, because he wanted to be. This wasn’t induced by an intense panic attack. It was just because Ash wanted to.

“Would you mind if I put a hand on your back and neck? Like, so I could cradle you?” He did this for Michael all the time, whenever his son felt scared or nervous, or even just wanted a hug. He wanted his son to feel safe and loved and protected, and that extended to Ash now. 

“U-uh, I guess.” Ash sounded uncertain, but from their experiences in the past, Max had a feeling he wouldn’t resist the touch. 

Still keeping his movements slow, Max brought one hand to hold the back of Ash’s neck, rubbing his thumb along his hairline, and the other rested on Ash’s back, that thumb moving in small circles. 

As predicted, Ash seemed to melt into the touch, and Max felt and heard him sigh, hopefully in contentment.

“Need to talk about anything honey?” 

Max could have sworn he heard Ash whimper at the back of his throat. “N-no. Sorry.”

“Hey, don’t apologize. All on your own time, baby.”

Max almost yelped when the teen in his arms shot backward, wide green eyes staring into his own, a look of utter shock on his face.

“What? I’m sorry, what did I do?” Max tried so hard not to say things that could possibly trigger Ash, but he knew he was imperfect and would slip up.

“I--baby. Did you mean to call me that?” 

Max’s heart squeezed at the pure look of confusion on Ash’s face. It was likely he had heard the word a million times before, but most definitely in a different context. This was probably his first time hearing someone who actually loved him call him that.

“Yeah, I did. You’re my son, you’re my baby. Is it okay if I do that? You can tell me no.”

Ash leaned forward again, curling back into himself. He seemed to press closer to Max, if that was possible. “Yeah. It--good.”

Max smiled, resuming his fingers’ motions. “Okay. Just tell me if you need me to stop with any of those names, okay baby?”

A tiny “okay” squeaked its way out of Ash, and Max planted a kiss to the top of his head. This won him another small whimper. 

They sat in silence, Max providing soothing motions and comforting silence. He wasn’t sure what exactly Ash needed, but he hoped it was just this. 

There came a knock on the doorframe, and in peeped Jessica. Max smiled at her, nodding toward Ash, who had moved from his position to glance at her.

“Oh, hey. I thought you were still working Max. Guess not,” Jessica said, leaning against the doorframe.

“Nope. We’re just sitting here. Aslan wanted some cuddles.” The blond’s pale cheeks flamed with embarrassment again. He tucked his face back against Max’s chest, causing a small chuckle from Jessica.

“Well, I won’t interrupt.” 

To Max, she mouthed, “Cute,” to which Max silently responded, “I know.” Jess smirked and walked away, returning Max and Ash to their silence.

Max wanted to say things, wanted to tell Ash how proud of him he was, how he knew this was all hard but Ash was doing such a good job. He longed to tell Ash how he was none of the things he convinced himself he was. Most importantly, he wanted to tell the kid he loved him, but he knew the implications that came with that, and he didn’t want to make Ash feel weird, even though it was nothing like when Ash had heard it before. 

This was nothing like any of that, but Max knew all too well about how a well-intentioned phrase or action could result in a panicked response. 

So, he committed to the silence, letting his thumbs run back and forth, back and forth, until he felt Ash go limp in his arms, his breathing evening out.

A kiss to the head. “Sweet dreams, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: planetesimalwords


End file.
